It's been 10 days since my last post and today was the first day I really made much progress at all. Granted, there was a holiday in there...and a whole lot of driving/traveling...but I wish I had more finished than I do.
We have not heard from Love Basket yet, regarding our approval of Packet II. I will call tomorrow to check in with our agent.
As of now, we are finished working with our Home Study agency until our baby arrives home with us (!!!!) Then, we will do a set of post-placement visits. Details on that process will come as it gets closer.
I've worked on our profile a little more. Ten pages are drafted and a handful of photos have been selected (thanks to the help of my BFF when she came to visit last weekend)! I need to sit down and put in a solid few hours on this profile book, but it's hard to do with Christmas coming! I so badly want to keep pressing on. And I so badly want to be sure to enjoy the holidays this year and not be so consumed with "expecting a baby" that the rest of my life passes me by. It's a tough balance. No matter what I decide to work on, I feel like my time should be spent on something else. EVERYTHING Baby, Christmas gifts, Decorating for Christmas, Baking for Christmas....I have a million things I usually fill my time with this time of the year and I don't want to drop everything. I need to sit down this week and prioritize my wishes!
Today, I drafted our Dear Birthmother letter. Talk about a feeling of accomplishment! I have several re-writes ahead of me, but the bones are there. I plan to send out my draft to a few select resources who have written their own letters, and hopefully receive feedback soon after. Technically, we are not "behind" schedule, because we haven't been approved yet, and our packet for the profile book came early. But, I want our book ready as soon as we are approved! It will drive me crazy to be working on it knowing that I could have "finished already" and Birth Mothers are not getting a chance to see it "yet". (Insert cyclone inside the brain)
I think that's all I have for right now. As I complete more pages in our profile, I will try to share them. Our letter will remain confidential, but I will share the process as we write it. For now, the main requirement is a length no longer than one page, including a 3x5 photo. I have a seven page document of other guidelines and directive, but will spare you the overwhelming details....at least for now, anyway.
After prioritizing my goals tomorrow, I will be a woman on a mission! (Even more so than I already am....) Keep watch for details. We plan to finish this book before Christmas! I have 29 days left!
Please continue to pray for unity between our Birth Mother and Birth Father. Their decision to make an adoption plan together will be a huge blessing in the midst of everything to come! Peace of mind for our Birth Mother, and a healthy pregnancy and delivery are also at the top of the list. Peace in our home is a continued request...and a prayer I can say, first-hand, has been working! Thank you! Thank you! For praying for us.
Oh! I almost forgot! I decided at the beginning of all of this that I wasn't going to miss out on anything just because I'm not pregnant. We are expecting a baby. It's an exciting time in our life! I've decided to have as much fun as possible....which includes jumping in on the belly photos on Facebook. I've already posted our initial announcement with my "starter belly". Here are the new photos I took with M last weekend! (This is a talent I possess...and for the sake of my self-esteem, I feel the need to clarify that I am pushing everything as much as I can for the sake of these photos and I do not look this pregnant on a daily basis.)
14 Weeks into the adoption process:
Do Not be Consumed
This has been the soft whisper of my inner voice, my conscience, the Holy Spirit. There are a million things to do, learn, read, and act on regarding our adoption process. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, and at one point, decided, "I don't want to be the Mom who spends so much time reading and preaching about parenting....that I forget to actually parent." You know who I'm talking about, the Mom with five blogs about budgeting, child entertainment, cooking, and so on. She's always preaching on Facebook about what not to do with your toddler, or she's tweeting pro-(pick-a-mom-rant)s. And....her baby is the one who fell out of the Bumbo...that was on the edge of the counter... My baby isn't with me, yet. But I have consumed myself with adoption everything. I needed to take as step back. While being a Mom is the most important job in the world, next to being a Daddy....I don't want "Mom" to be all that I am. I don't want my husband to wonder where his wife went, because I only ever call him "Daddy" and talk in that annoying, high-pitched "Baby Voice." (Because we all know how sexy that sounds....) I want to have hobbies aside from finger painting with yogurt and corn on the cob. I love to do these things, but I realized at one point that ALL I was doing, was adoption paperwork, adoption phone calls, adoption counseling, and baby shopping, baby planning, etc. And I don't want to be that way.
So, I went to Target. I bought Ellen's new book, which has nothing to do with adoption. I made a Halloween pumpkin full of chocolate and I drove to Denver to visit my best friend for a day and a half, and drove back. I went shopping for random things I don't need (not baby stuff). I called my Grandma, and we didn't talk about adoption. I cancelled a counseling session, and didn't blog for awhile. I spent a weekend in yoga pants, on the couch with my husband. I made new recipes, and got dressed up for dinner out (that didn't involve adoption talk or baby shopping after eating). A lot of thoughts have made their way in and out of my head, and I wanted to blog about them....but then I just wanted to "be". So I did.
This week, I touched base with all necessary adoption folk, made myself a to-do list and am happy to say that the sky did not start falling when I took time to just be me. Not me expecting a baby....but just me. Here's where we are with things:
-Our Home Study Agent is about a day away from finishing our report. (WOOO!) She will call when it is finished and then Adam and I will review for accuracy before she sends it to Love Basket.
-Love Basket is waiting on our Home Study report and a letter from one of my doctors.
-Our adoption agent at LB has been approving our documents as I've been sending them in (another Wooo!) She told me yesterday that she doesn't see any red flags and doesn't anticipate anything keeping us from being approved to proceed with adoption. That being said, she asked if I wanted our profile packet early. Um....ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES, PLEASE!!!!! After laughing at my enthusiasm, she dropped our packet in the mail so I should have it in a couple days.
-Our Profile packet includes instructions for creating our Profile Book as well as a couple sample books from couples who have adopted through LB. Once we create our book, it is sent to the agency as a draft. We will be notified of any changes that need to be made and then make them. Once our final version is complete, we make six more copies and out they go!
-Back to the approval of Packet II. While our agent has been approving things as we go, the rest of the committee won't review our file until all documentation has been received. This way our file stays in tact, nothing is removed or lost, etc.
-During our wait for approval of Packet II, we will have a phone interview with an agent from Love Basket. This is for them to get to know us a little more before representing us when speaking to Birth Parents. Because they didn't do our Home Study, they only have our paperwork and a couple photographs to go on. That's really not much when you're talking to someone about finding a home and wonderful parents for her child. So, I fully understand this interview and am actually looking forward to. (Possibly because it's a final step??)
-HOLY TOLEDO, BATMAN! Shit just go real. Pardon my "french". But this is all happening! It's really really happening! I know there's a wait period after all the paperwork, but I don't even care! If we don't get matched for a year....that's okay! We're waiting! And we're official! And we're "on the market". We are actually an OPTION for Birth Parents! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!
-Okay, I'm good now. From the sound of things with "all our people", we should be available for Birth Parents by the end of the year. Which puts a very very happy light on 2013!!!
-That's all I have for now. It's BIG and it's wonderful and overwhelmingly exciting! I will share profile details as soon as my packet arrives!
Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents. Pray that God places an obvious peace on all our hearts, that He brings us together in a way that only He can. Pray for unity with our Birth Parents in their decision to make an adoption plan. And continue to pray for Baby's big big family: Birth family, Adopted family. More people to love you also means more relationships to foster. We need God's grace and guidance to do this well.
I hope to post on a few topics in the middle of updates. However, they may not happen with the holidays approaching... at the least, I will share profile pages as I create them!
Thank you! Thank you! For your continued prayer and support!
