Once Upon a Time...

Once Upon a Time...
There was a couple adopting a sweet baby who took a long break from their adoption blog to enjoy the holidays and to finish their profile book.  After long days and nights of parties, gifts, lots of fancy food, and hours upon hours at the computer writing their book, the couple decided they needed to rest.  And so they did.  They rested after all the celebration and all the thinking.  Then, the two love birds printed a sample copy of their book and kept if over the weekend to be sure they were ready to send it.  After making a few changes and consulting their adoption agency, the couple ordered seven copies of their profile book!  They can't wait to pick up these pages from the printer and send them to the magical baby land called Love Basket.  Here they are, living their "Happily Ever After", just days away from waiting for one very special phone call. 

to be continued...

Bottoms Up...We're Having a Baby!

Straight to the point....

WE ARE APPROVED!  WE ARE APPROVED!  WE ARE APPROVED!!!!!!

Adam and Nichole Lewis are officially an "awaiting family" in the adoption files of Love Basket Domestic and International Adoption Ministry in Hillsboro, Missouri!!!

I am currently bossing my husband around to hurry up and shower so we can go to dinner and celebrate!  We had a cheap-o-saving-for-baby date planned for Taco Bell, but I've upgraded us (just a smidge) to Olive Garden so we can at least have a glass of champagne!  

Our agent called today with our official approval and said, "Normally we would now send out a letter of approval and the profile packet.  But, I'm telling you so you don't have to wait for a letter...and I sent the packet already so you're good to go!"  I asked about the letter just to confirm, "So...we won't get a letter?  Just the phone call?"  to which she replied (as an experienced LB adoptive mother), "Yes.  But if you WANT  the letter, I can send it anyway."  Wanna know what I told her?  "Heck yeah I want a letter!  It's going in my binder AND in the baby book!  I'm keeping everything!"  She laughed at me, then said she completely understood...and it was in my inbox within half an hour.  There's a chance it will end up framed in the nursery.....when we have one....

Next up:
We will have a phone interview with a LB Birth Parent Counselor.  The purpose of this is for her to get to know us a little more, ask some questions that she knows Birth Mother's are likely to ask, and so on.  This will be about an hour on the phone, maybe less and then she will start showing our book to her clients!

I need to finish our book.  I had said I wanted to take my time and send it in by January.  Adam said he didn't want to wait, and let's shoot for Christmas.  After today....I'm pulling all nighter's until it's finished so it's on our agent's desk first thing Monday morning!  

We're having a baby, People!!!!

Okay so the reality is comparable to.....being 7 months pregnant....and we could stay "7 months pregnant" for a year or longer....but I don't even care!  The hard part is over!  I can wait 5 years if I have to (okay not really....God, I didn't mean that!)  But I'm so freaking excited!!!  Woo!!!
 Please keep praying!
-Unity for our Birth Parents in their decision to make an adoption plan
-Peace in our household for upcoming decisions and conversations to be made and had.
-Money to start growing on our Christmas tree so we can pay our (ginormous) fees as they come up (hopefully sooner than later!)  Okay...maybe not money on the Christmas tree, but guidance for our adoption loan and smooth sailing for that whole process...

Thank you for traveling with us!  We have a way to go, but we're so excited to be where we are!  

Thank you, Jesus!  We "knew" we would be approved, but now it's so real it's hard to breathe.

I'm about to start rambling.
Peace.  I have a hot date!             

Step by Step....Inch by Inch....

Yesterday our Home Study was edited, signed by all necessary parties, and emailed to Love Basket.  I talked with our Adoption agent today.  Here is where we are:

Adoption agent prepares our file for the review committee
Review committee (one other agent, plus the agency's owner) review our file
After approval (which I was told to expect), we have a phone interview with one of the agents at Love Basket who meets with Birth Parents.  Once the interview is complete, our profile book is reviewed by that same agent and sent back to us for revisions (if necessary).  After the final copy is approved, we make six more copies of our profile and send them to Love Basket.  From there, LB sends them out to all Birth Parent counselors.  Once they are in the hands of counselors, all profile-ready Birth Parents begin to review our book. (Deeep breathe)

A few elaborations:
The owner of Love Basket has been out of the office since Tuesday.  He will return Monday, but then leave again for the rest of the week.  Our agent is doing her best to put what she can on his desk for Monday, but warned me that we may not hear back from her, regarding his approval, for two weeks.  (!)

We were given our profile instructions early, so we can work on that early and have it reviewed even before we are officially approved.  'm working on that book now (finally!) and hope to complete it by the end of next week.

We are so freaking close to being available to birth mothers!  I have goosebumps all over my body as I type this information.  

Since I'm at a stopping point on the first page I'm working on for our profile book, I'm going to share it with you.  This is a template.  The only thing that won't change is the photo of the layout of our apartment.  Also remember the photo is a screen shot, so the black border won't be on the printed page.  I hope to knock out three of these pages before Little Man wakes up!  Cross your fingers for me!  I need this tightening in my chest to go away now.

P.S. if you click on the photos I upload, they will enlarge on your screen.

...If I Only Had a Brain....

As I sit here in bed with my laptop (BIG no-no in this house), I can't help but feel overwhelmed....and a little scared.  This profile book is intimidating.  I know I need to put on my big girl panties and my Mom jeans (okay skip the mom jeans) and just pull it together already, but I'm experiencing writer's block...among other things.

We have so much going on this week, that I think I'm going to spend the next couple days praying and thinking about how to put this thing together.  I wanted it finished by Sunday, but I think my new goal will be NEXT Sunday.  That potentially takes us into December before being approved, but I'm not okay with rushing any of this or driving myself crazy over it.  I want to enjoy as much of this process as I possibly can!

In Other News:
I've read over our Home Study review and found a few factual errors.  I was going to let them slide, but Adam said absolutely not.  I knew he would...which was why I asked him before just signing off on it.  I wanted to just say, "Yep!  This looks GREAT!" and move on, but I knew it would bug me to turn in a report that I knew needed corrections.  So, I called our CSI agent today and will be dropping off the report tomorrow.  She plants to edit tomorrow, sign the packet, get her supervisor's signature, and email the documents to Love Basket by the end of the day with hard copies in the mail by the end of the week!

Random Side Note:
In one of our sample Profile Books was a poem, on the last page, regarding a child's relationship to both his Birth Mother and Adoptive Mother.  I'm not one for Chicken Soup books, cheesy lines and sayings, or cliche....anything (unless it's an 80s party, then I go all out...)  However, this poem helps communicate the roles of each mother in the child's life and offers a great picture of what an open adoption looks like.  I may put it in our Baby Book or in the nursery if it sticks with me.  The details in here aren't an exact fit, but then again...I didn't write it.  It's someone else's story, but it's one that leaves me with a calm.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

author unknown

Once there were two women,

Who never knew each other,

One is in your heart forever,

The other you call Mother.

Two different lives,

shaped to make yours one.

One became your star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,

The second taught you how to live it.

The first gave you a need for love,

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent,

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you a family,

It was what God intended for her to do.

The other prayed for a child,

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age old question through the years,

Heredity or environment...

Which are you a product of?

Neither, my darling, neighter,

Just two different kinds of love. 

 

"You've Got Mail"

Our instructions for or Profile book have arrived!  We also received two complete profiles from couples who have recently adopted through Love Basket.  The profiles are packaged the same way, but designed differently.  I've been contemplating how to do our own profile, and think I will stick with the look and style of our Pictorial Essay.  I shared a page or two of our Pictorial Essay back when I was working on it.  I'm going to include the whole presentation in this blog.  I'm not sure how much time I will take to pause and upload profile pages as I create them, but I want to share what we've done so far!  

These pages won't be included in our profile, but some of the pictures will be used for sure!  In addition to photos of ourselves, we need photos with of our parents, friends, cousins...our "social circle" and "support group".  Photos of the apartment, vacation photos, and a brief overview of our income and lifestyle will also be included in our profile.  The most important piece of our profile will be the very first page...our letter to Birth Mothers.  I've read an entire book about how to write this letter.  I've talked to my Adoption Counselor about how to write this letter.  Our agent has given me advice on this letter.  I've read multiple samples of this letter....and it has me the most anxious I've been since we started this whole process.  I know I can write well.  I can connect with others emotionally, both written and verbally.  I'm an emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve.  So the advice I've been given will be easy to follow.  But I can't help but feel "this is IT."  Like I have one shot.  That's not true, because our agency will proof our profile before we make copies of it to send out....but even once they approve it, we're done.  Once the letter is signed, the profile composed, approved, duplicated, and distributed...we wait for God to place it in the right hands.  

This is overwhelming.  My excitement may be the equivalent of a blood test confirming the results of a home pregnancy test mixed with the feeling of actually looking pregnant, having a shower, and physically preparing for Baby's arrival.  I can believe this is happening, but it's more surreal than anything I've experienced to date.  Just before Adam was hired with MM, I told him I felt like we were just sitting in the water.  I saw us in the still of the ocean....knowing the tide was about to come in, the waves would rise and we would not be overtaken by them.  We would rise above them, and enjoy the ride.  That time is here, and it is an amazing, AMAZING adventure.  

Here are the pages of our Pictorial Essay:

 The above pages* were created for Love Basket, in order for them to get to know us a little more.  Our profile book will be similar, but more personal.  It will be created for and addressed to Birth Mothers.  Eventually, I may post sample pages, but I can't commit to it right now.  

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!  Our biggest prayers are for the health and peace of our Birth Mother and her baby and the relationship between our Birth Mother and Birth Father.  We pray they are unified in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby, and we pray everyone goes through this process as healthy as possible and that we all come out stronger on the other side.  Comfort for our Birth Mother is also a prayer.  In addition, we pray for Peace in our household.  Adam and I have some very big decisions coming up and we need to make them together, as a team.  We need to be stronger now than ever before (and we believe we are)!  Our family is growing, and our entire life is about to change. (!!!)

***This just in*** 
 As I was concluding this post, my phone rang.  Our Home Study agent has an approved copy of our report (from her supervisor) and is ready to meet me tomorrow morning so that I can pick it up from her.  Adam and I will review the report for accuracy, sign off on the document, and then it will go straight to Love Basket!  Between now and when I meet our agent in the morning, we need to send her one last piece of information that was forgotten during our visits.  However, that should be completed already (note and a wink to husband: this is your assignment from Wednesday that I'm referring to...) so all we need to do is email it to her!

More to come soon!

*All graphics in this post were created by Nicole Koller.  
Professional photos taken by Jennifer Jayne Photography

Do Not be Consumed

Do Not be Consumed

This has been the soft whisper of my inner voice, my conscience, the Holy Spirit.  There are a million things to do, learn, read, and act on regarding our adoption process.  I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, and at one point, decided, "I don't want to be the Mom who spends so much time reading and preaching about parenting....that I forget to actually parent."  You know who I'm talking about, the Mom with five blogs about budgeting, child entertainment, cooking, and so on.  She's always preaching on Facebook about what not to do with your toddler, or she's tweeting pro-(pick-a-mom-rant)s.  And....her baby is the one who fell out of the Bumbo...that was on the edge of the counter...  My baby isn't with me, yet.  But I have consumed myself with adoption everything.  I needed to take as step back.  While being a Mom is the most important job in the world, next to being a Daddy....I don't want "Mom" to be all that I am.  I don't want my husband to wonder where his wife went, because I only ever call him "Daddy" and talk in that annoying, high-pitched "Baby Voice."  (Because we all know how sexy that sounds....)  I want to have hobbies aside from finger painting with yogurt and corn on the cob.  I love to do these things, but I realized at one point that ALL I was doing, was adoption paperwork, adoption phone calls, adoption counseling, and baby shopping, baby planning, etc.  And I don't want to be that way.

So, I went to Target.  I bought Ellen's new book, which has nothing to do with adoption.  I made a Halloween pumpkin full of chocolate and I drove to Denver to visit my best friend for a day and a half, and drove back.  I went shopping for random things I don't need (not baby stuff).  I called my Grandma, and we didn't talk about adoption.  I cancelled a counseling session, and didn't blog for awhile.  I spent a weekend in yoga pants, on the couch with my husband.  I made new recipes, and got dressed up for dinner out (that didn't involve adoption talk or baby shopping after eating).  A lot of thoughts have made their way in and out of my head, and I wanted to blog about them....but then I just wanted to "be".  So I did.

This week, I touched base with all necessary adoption folk, made myself a to-do list and am happy to say that the sky did not start falling when I took time to just be me.  Not me expecting a baby....but just me.  Here's where we are with things:

-Our Home Study Agent is about a day away from finishing our report. (WOOO!)  She will call when it is finished and then Adam and I will review for accuracy before she sends it to Love Basket.

-Love Basket is waiting on our Home Study report and a letter from one of my doctors.

-Our adoption agent at LB has been approving our documents as I've been sending them in (another Wooo!)  She told me yesterday that she doesn't see any red flags and doesn't anticipate anything keeping us from being approved to proceed with adoption.  That being said, she asked if I wanted our profile packet early.  Um....ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES, PLEASE!!!!!  After laughing at my enthusiasm, she dropped our packet in the mail so I should have it in a couple days.  

-Our Profile packet includes instructions for creating our Profile Book as well as a couple sample books from couples who have adopted through LB.  Once we create our book, it is sent to the agency as a draft.  We will be notified of any changes that need to be made and then make them.  Once our final version is complete, we make six more copies and out they go!

-Back to the approval of Packet II.  While our agent has been approving things as we go, the rest of the committee won't review our file until all documentation has been received.  This way our file stays in tact, nothing is removed or lost, etc.  

-During our wait for approval of Packet II, we will have a phone interview with an agent from Love Basket.  This is for them to get to know us a little more before representing us when speaking to Birth Parents.  Because they didn't do our Home Study, they only have our paperwork and a couple photographs to go on.  That's really not much when you're talking to someone about finding a home and wonderful parents for her child.  So, I fully understand this interview and am actually looking forward to.  (Possibly because it's a final step??)

-HOLY TOLEDO, BATMAN!  Shit just go real.  Pardon my "french".  But this is all happening!  It's really really happening!  I know there's a wait period after all the paperwork, but I don't even care!  If we don't get matched for a year....that's okay!  We're waiting!  And we're official!  And we're "on the market".  We are actually an OPTION for Birth Parents!  Aaaahhhhh!!!!!

-Okay, I'm good now.  From the sound of things with "all our people", we should be available for Birth Parents by the end of the year.  Which puts a very very happy light on 2013!!!

-That's all I have for now.  It's BIG and it's wonderful and overwhelmingly exciting!  I will share profile details as soon as my packet arrives!

Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents.  Pray that God places an obvious peace on all our hearts, that He brings us together in a way that only He can.  Pray for unity with our Birth Parents in their decision to make an adoption plan.  And continue to pray for Baby's big big family: Birth family, Adopted family.  More people to love you also means more relationships to foster.  We need God's grace and guidance to do this well.

I hope to post on a few topics in the middle of updates.  However, they may not happen with the holidays approaching... at the least, I will share profile pages as I create them!

Thank you!  Thank you!  For your continued prayer and support!

Home Study #3...Check!

Slooowwwlllllyyyyy, but surely, we are completing paperwork!  Our Home Study agent is back from vacation, has all of our paperwork and came over yesterday for our final Pre-Adoption Home Study meeting.  She arrived at 9:00am and we were able to finish by 11:45.  Adam and I had focused our energy on preparing for questions like "What is your parenting philosophy?" that I completely forgot to prepare myself for the Family Tree portion.  

During the Family Tree diagramming, we name ourselves, siblings, parents, their siblings, and grandparents, then elaborate on each.  I was totally fine hearing Adam talk about his family, until we came to grandparents.  We've lost two of Adam's grandparents in the last few years and it has been hard on us.  Our agent asked about Grandpa H....and I was fine, then she asked about Grandma's age.  To which Adam replied, "um....she is deceased."  Annnd I cried.  So we talked about Grandma's personality when she was with us, her temperament, demeanor, character, etc.  Annnd I cried.  Luckily we broke the cry fest with Gramma Lewis, who is still with us!  But...then it was time for Grandpa Lewis...annnnd I cried.  I think I excused myself from the table three different times.  We thought we were in the clear, but after asking Adam to describe his sister and her husband, we moved on to Adam.  She told him not to say anything, because she wanted my perspective.  Annnnd I cried.  "President of the fan club" was her note next to my name, concerning Adam.  After I told her how amazing my husband is, she asked him if he had anything to add.  So he did get a chance to chime in.  We moved on (finally) to the questions regarding parenting ideas, traditions, holiday plans, openness in adoption (aaahhh!!!  I thought I was finished there!), ideas concerning discipline, and many more things I no longer remember.  When the meeting was over, I felt the flood gates had opened and anxiety rushed out of me, wave after wave.  I felt relieved to have our meetings finished!  Our training finished!  Our paperwork finished!

So from here:
-Our CSI agent needs to review her notes next week, write up a report about us, and send it to Love Basket.  She is looking at just over two weeks for turnaround time.
-I need to follow up with two doctors regarding release forms for information that has yet to arrive at LB.
-Love Basket will receive the above documents, review, and report back with us regarding our approval of Packet II.  
-Shortly after the approval process, we can expect our profile guidelines to arrive in the mail!  I'm pretty sure the second that packet arrives, the rest of the world will cease to exist.  I will be glued to my computer and working on page after page in hopes of completing our first draft as soon as possible!

I will keep you posted on details of the profile book once I receive the information!

Thank you for your continued prayer and support!  Please keep praying for a unified plan of adoption from our Birth Parents.  This is at the top of our list right now. 

Happy Thursday!

Home Study Visit 1: Check!

I planned on blogging yesterday, but the day was so busy that I went straight to bed after dinner!  Of course, I didn't fall asleep until after 10:00, but that's beside the point.

For starters, I was wrong about my meeting with Le Leche League.  It wasn't yesterday, it was today.  Good thing, because I did not have time for a meeting yesterday!  I cleaned the apartment, frantically searched for something appropriate to wear for the occasion (thanks to all who helped!  I went with comfy and cozy...but no yoga pants, unfortunately...and was complimented on my outfit at the end of the meeting...that's an added plus).  

The Home Study went well.  It started off a little...uncomfortable?  I'm such a hostess that I felt akward without my kitchen, my own dishes, and the accessibility to do what I like to do so much and cater to people who visit my home!  I didn't even feel at home.  I missed my big house in Iowa that has so much space and I suddenly felt disconnected.  Adam sensed my discomfort and did an amazing job of leading conversation until I was at ease.  It's not like me to be uncomfortable in social situations so I was worried about sending off a bad "vibe".  I think I ended up okay, though.  By the time she left I was talking a million words a minute while she frantically took notes on her baby pink paper that was designated for me.  [Adam's paper is baby blue...interesting.  And kinda cute:)]

I think Adam and I were both a little nervous about the meeting and where things might go.  Sure enough, our entire lives were revealed (once again) and we were asked a million questions about our relationship, past relationships, our families, our histories, etc.  We are confident enough in who we are, where we've been, and how it has shaped us, that I can boldly say we owned that interview.  I'm not sure if Adam feels that way, but he seemed confident enough with everything.  He was a little preoccupied (hang on, I'll get there in a minute).  As far as sharing the experience with you....it was everything I've shared about paperwork, just in person, really.  She asked us about our jobs and drew a diagram that represented each of us, our work hours, hobbies, ages, and the like.  We talked about how work hours might change for both of us when a baby arrives (Wait.  You mean our schedule is gonna change?  I hadn't thought of that...) After the diagrams, she pulled out the pink paper.  We created a family tree (which took for-e-ver for me) and talked about each member of my family.  She asked about temperament, characteristics, relationships I had with each one and their relationships with each other.  It was exhausting!  Actually, my family is so big, that she wants to meet with me by myself in order to finish my family tree.  We were supposed to have two meetings, three hours each.  Now we're adding two hours.  My individual meeting is scheduled for next week and I could complain about the extra time, but I decided today to stop complaining about any of this.  I haven't meant to sound as annoyed as I sound, and I'm actually really excited to be going through all of this!  I've let negative comments effect me too much.  I've been a little annoyed, but overall I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to adopt (finally!) that I need to focus on the positives and enjoy every single second of it.  It will be over before I know it!

So, on to Adam's distraction during out meeting....our realtor had emailed earlier yesterday with an offer on our Iowa house from a potential buyer.  He excused himself a couple times during the meeting so that he could work his magic with numbers and close the deal on our house.  HE DID IT!!!!  Just after our agent left, Adam accepted a counter offer and we confirmed with our realtor that we were ready to sign papers.  We're professionals at paperwork now, so I'm not even thinking twice about the faxing, emailing, and signing that is about to take place.  I'm so excited the house is taken care of!  We are moving next week, so the timing worked out perfectly.  Of course, my first question to Adam was if we could go for the bigger apartment we liked so much since the house is selling and we haven't moved yet.  But, he suggested we stick to the plan since we already had the ball rolling and the paperwork is finished.  I agreed the idea made sense and it would be nice to just save money while we wait to be matched with a birth mother.  We still expect things to continue to happen quickly, but if they don't...the longer we wait, the more time we have to come up with that $15,000 placement fee!  I'm sure we will end up applying for a loan afterall, but the less we borrow, the better.

On that note of timing, it looks like our last Home Study meeting will be near the end of October.  Part of me wants to move that up because we're so far ahead of our original timeline.  But, the other part of me doesn't want to stress to finish early...and I want to trust God on timing.  The end of October gives us plenty of time to settle into our apartment, wrap up things with the house, adjust to changes, and take a small breather after all the paperwork.  Once that last meeting is finished, we wait for approval of Packet II from Love Basket which can take a couple more weeks.  I'm okay with that report coming around mid-November(ish).  I can't believe I'm already looking at the calendar for November.  This year is flying by since we moved!  Sheesh.  I'm going blink one more time and it will be Christmas!  Ooooh.  That's exciting! :)

I heard back from both grandmas and our birth certificates and marriage license have been received and hand delivered to Love basket!  I'm so happy I was able to delegate that task!  It seems small, but it was such a big help.  Thanks, Mom and Mom L! :)

I attended my LLL meeting this morning and loved it!  I had to duck out a little early to make my next appointment, but the atmosphere was wonderful.  Each mom was supportive of my "mom status" and a couple of them were excited to hear what updates I will have next month.  I was given several resources, from books to people, and can't wait to get started on that stuff!  When I updated my blog the other night, I realized that only the home pages functions the way it does-where I can post entries, label them, and what have you.  So, I may be linking to a separate blog regarding adoptive breastfeeding and just deleting that page on this blog.  We will see.  I don't want to get ahead of myself and plan more than I can follow through with!  So, if that page is annoying to follow...hang in there.

Today I plan to get our online class figured out, organize my copies of the paperwork we've recently sent in, and prep myself for the weekend.  I'm hoping to finish paperwork and be registered for our classes by Sunday.  IF that happens, next week will be our last week of paperwork, assignments, and turning in packets.  Of course, this goal may be a little ambitious, so I'm okay if things take a little longer.  But, sitting in that meeting today with moms holding new babies added fire to my flame.  I want to keep going.  I want to finish this so I can have my baby!  Last night's meeting led to a restless night of longing for my baby whom I haven't even met...who may not even be on earth yet.  It wasn't a sad longing, but a desire from the bottom of my heart, to hold my baby.  I want to meet him or her.  I always saw myself with a rollie pollie chub of a baby because that's how I was.  But now, I have no idea what my baby will look like.  So the image in my head changes over and over....which in turn refuels the longing.  Writing about it now brings it all back.  I can't wait!  The day is so close, yet so far away.  

I will update more tomorrow once I get myself re-organized.  We have the final pages of adoption stuff coming up, a trip to Davenport to organize the move, and then the move itself.  Thank goodness I had the sense to plan a weekend away with my best friend!  Not only that...I had forgotten about a week of vacation coming up at work.  Soooo, our weekend away, meeting halfway between here and Denver, turned into me driving all the way there and spending a week just enjoying Colorado.  Paperwork will definitely be finished by then, and I should have us pretty settled into the apartment, so the timing for a vacation couldn't have worked out much better than this!  I will miss Adam after the first day or so, but I'm so excited to spend a whole week on vacation that I think I can fill my time enough to keep from getting too home sick.  And I just want to say, that I LOVE the fact that I get home sick when I'm away without Adam.  It took awhile to get to this point and its a wonderful feeling. :)

Little E just woke up.  Keep your eyes open!  I should be back tomorrow with more information!

Have a great afternoon!

Cue the Angel Choir

I can see the bottom of my folder!  Packet II is over half way complete.  All the forms are filled out.  Adam and I have a three-day long to-do list and one more Power Paper weekend in our future and I think we will have it finished.  That's my goal: Complete Packet II by Sunday.

Here's what our week looks like so far:

*Adam has his appointment for a physical exam and blood panel today
*Adam is having his fingerprints scanned today and then mailing in the cards

*I have my blood work scheduled for tomorrow morning (I will remember to fast this time!)
*I plan to have my finger prints scanned after tomorrow's appointment

*Wednesday is our first Home Study visit!  Can you believe it's here already??  It's so surreal.  We are a little nervous, but I figure, "it is what it is" and we are who we are.  Hopefully she thinks we're great. ;)

I've spoken with our closest friends over the weekend regarding our references.  Boy, do they have their homework cut out for them.  I contacted each person to be sure we're still friends after they had time to review their assignment.  One reference said her letter to the agency was three pages long after answering all the questions on the form.  Our adoption agents are going to know us better than most of our readers by the time we get through all this paperwork!  Check out the 52 question "Self Study" we have in our Home Study packet.  I finished mine this weekend (thus the angel choir) and Adam is working on his.  I'm going to list every single one of them.  You know why?  Because if I were reading this blog from the other side, I would be interested to know this part. I've added my own commentary at an attempt of entertaining you while you read (and read and read and read).  Alright, here goes nothin':

About You
1. Briefly describe your personality, temperament, and the values which are most important to you.

2.What do you like best about yourself? (Brag a little!) 

3. What would you like to change about yourself?

4. What have been the most fulfilling accomplishments in your life?

5. What kind of things in life are most important to you?

6. What are your personal short-term and long-term goals?

Your Childhood and Family
1. Briefly describe your childhood-your feelings about parents, siblings, and other early memories about your family.

2. Describe your mother's personality and temperament.

3. Describe your father's personality and temperament.

4. Describe your parents' marriage.

5. How did your parents show affection/anger?

6. Describe your school years-academics, relationships with peers, school activities.  What schools did you attend, date(s) of graduation, etc?

7. What things about your childhood would you have changed?

Your Marriage Relationship
1.Briefly share when, how you met, and what first attracted you to one another.

2. Discuss your decision to marry and the wedding.

3. Describe your first year of marriage.

4. What do you like about your marriage?

5. What do you admire about your spouse?

6. What activities/interests do you share together?

7. Describe how your marriage has changed over the years.

8. Describe the highlights of your relationship.

9. Describe the low points in your relationship and how you worked through the situations.

10. How do you handle disagreements and conflicts between you?  How are feelings expressed in your relationship? (Can I tell you that I've thrown my shoes at Hubbo's head?  Will that make me look bad?  Lucky for him my aim isn't so great...)

11. If previously married, please list the name of former spouse, date and  reason for dissolution of marriage. (Woo!  We get to skip one!!)

12. What is your current relationship or contact with former spouse? (Woo!  Skip ahead one more space!)

13. Where there any children born or adopted during this relationship? (Aaaand skip three....woo hoo!)

14. What is your division of labor around the household?  Management of finances? (Division of labor?  Well...that's what the kid is for...duh.)

15. What are your short-term and long term goals as a couple? (to stay married.  Does that count?)

16. Compare and contrast your life as a couple with or without adding a child to your family. (Um....not having children in our life is not an option, does that count as an answer?  Because that's what I said....)

Parenting
1. What is appealing to you about parenting?

2. What changes would you expect to occur in your lifestyle after placement of a child in your family? (Everything?  Just a hunch...)

3. How do you/would you parent the same/differently than your own parents

4. What role do mothers/fathers play in a child's development?

5. What is/will be the hardest part of parenting? (I won't know until I get there, but I can list about 25 things off the top of my head...?)

6. What is/will be the most rewarding part of parenting? (Please see number 5)

7. What expectations do you have for your child educationally?  Spiritually?  Socially?  Occupationally? (None.  Is that okay?  Then everything they do will make them look genius....)

8. How do you/would you feel about disciplining children?  What disciplinary methods do you/would you use?

9. What separates excellent parents from average parents?

Employment and Community Life
1. List significant previous employment.  Why did you choose other employment?  (Oh, you mean all the stuff I listed on your last form?  You want me to repeat myself.  Are you going to ask me this in person too?  Like doctors do?  Oh, okay.  No problem. .:copy; paste:.)

2. How do you feel about your present employer?  What kinds of satisfactions/dissatisfaction do you get from your job?  [L, my boss, would be happy to know I only have great things to say here! I have the exact job I was looking for.  Craziness and all. ;)]

3. What leisure and recreational activities do you enjoy? (Filling out adoption paperwork!  Do I get points for that one??)

4. What community activities (groups, church, clubs) do you participate in?

5. Describe your friends and what kind of things you do together. (We talk about adoption paperwork and the crazy hoops I've been jumping through and that maybe I should join the circus...)

Adoption
1. Why do you wish to adopt a child (Hey, there's an important question in here...that's nice to know!)

2. What is your definition of open adoption (Aaahhh!  I'm done with this topic.  I don't care if we have joint custody at this point, I just want to be finished answering this question! OKay some of that isn't true....)

3. What are the advantages of open adoption?

4. What are your fears of open adoption? (Suddenly the old Chili's commercial jingle pops in my head, "I waaant my babyback babyback babyback....")

5. What are your attitudes toward birth parents who place their children for adoption?

6. How will you and the birth parents negotiate/resolve differences in expectations regarding openness? (Can we flip quarters, pull straws, and play rock/paper/scissors?  It works on the playground...)

7. How will you tell your child about his/her adoption?

8. Do your parents and siblings know you plan to adopt a child?  If so, what are their reactions and understandings of adoption? (Nah.  We figured we live out of state so we can just pretend I'm pregnant and stay away from home for 9 months...then just show up at Christmas with a little tyke that randomly has curly red hair and freckles.  Seems like a good idea to me...)

And done.  Are you crazy yet?  Did you consider your own answers to any of these questions and not go nutso?  If your answer is yes, give yourself 10 points!  Okay you can have 20 points, I don't care.  They don't count anyway...

******* In Other News*******

Friday's experience at the doctor's office made me determined to make today feel like anything but a Monday.  It also brought up a not-so-fun-but-oh-so-necessary conversation with my best friend.  I have been pushing all things related to infertility out of my life for the last five years.  I prefer not to go into detail on here because, well, that's a tiny bit personal, and I'm sharing everything else...I want to be a little bit mysterious. ;)  

However, I will say that I've realized I have some things to face that this paperwork has pushed to the surface.  The interesting thing is that the things that have come up that bother me most, don't seem to be things my adoptive parent friends had to deal with when doing their own paperwork.  So...maybe God made my journey different so I can stop running into the same brick wall?  Maybe.  He seems to kind of know what He's doing.

I plan to schedule an appointment with the people recommended to me by my doctor.  Not only will I get the consultation I need for adoptive breastfeeding (updates to that page coming soon!), but also a little counseling through the adoption process.  I'm not ashamed to talk to a counselor or therapist and have learned to appreciate all they can do for me.  My life has completely changed because I've been an open book and willing to learn.  I've received some really bad advice that definitely wasn't work the $80/hour I was charged...but even that taught me to still listen to myself, even when the voices in my head sound a little trippy. :)

So, there you go.  Lots on the list for this week, including a visit to a counselor.  But I'm okay with that.  Adopting forces you to think about a LOT of feelings.  And I'm kind of tired of thinking about my feelings....so I'm gonna have someone pull it out of me, make me cry some more, then make me feel better, and make me more awesome.  Oh come on, it's funny.

Okay, I think that's it.  I'll keep you posted on our visits to the State Patrol for fingerprints (Like a live CSI audition, without the cameras and celebrities...) and our three hour interview with a case worker.  That will be the highlight of the week for sure.  Does anyone want to guess how excited Jovi will be to see this lady?  How many times might she here, "Jovi!  Off!", "Jovi!  Sit.", "Jovi! No Lick.", "Oh, Jovi."  Maybe we can take guesses and if I can keep track the whole time, I'll pick the person closest to the correct answer.  I'm going with 97 million times Jovi will be redirected and/or reminded how to behave politely...you know, by giving people space and not demanding every ounce of their attention.  Huh.  She kinda sounds like her Mama.  So proud. :)

Have a Happy Monday!  Pretend it's Friday!!