Twiddlie Diddlie Dee...

Since turning in our profile book two weeks ago, I've added plenty of extra hours to my work week. I'm watching a baby twice a week for a second family, and also doing a little freelance writing for a friend's website (she's an AMAZING baby photographer!) Check out her breath taking work at www.jenniferjayne.com. All of this is helping to keep my mind off of waiting.

My adoption counselor gave me an assignment of finding a new hobby...that isn't adoption related. Um, try telling a pregnant lady not to think about her enormous and ever growing tummy! So far, all I've come up with is work. Work more, make money-don't spend money. I'm sure this makes my husband smile, but the point was to do something fun and relaxing. Why is that so hard to do?

I talked to our agent today and we have the option of posting an abbreviated version of our profile book online. By doing this, we make ourselves visible to the public. A pregnant mother can view these profiles without necessarily being a client...whereas, the books are only available to those already in contact with LB. That being said, we sort of increase our chances, ever so slightly. I plan to get an online version of our profile ready for posting by the end of this month.

This waiting game sucks. I tried to filter the previous statement, but its my reality. I'm not dwelling on my urge for a baby day in and day out, but I'm finding myself thinking those "now what do I do with my life?", kind of thoughts. But, it's not like I need a career change...or any change for that matter. I love what Im doing with my life! I just want to be at home with my new Baby. I want to start a relationship with his or her Birth Family. I want to have endless visits with our own families, to introduce Baby Lewis to all the crazies we already love so much. ;)

That's all I have for today. I'm off to think of a project I can start before I go find a fourth job just for kicks....

Please keep us in your prayers. We know our Baby is going to show up when God is everyone ready. We need peace in our wait and we ask for peace for our Birth parents and their family. Prayers for a healthy, happy, baby are also requested. Thank you so so much for staying on this journey with us! I will try to keep everyone updated more often now that the holidays are over and things are settling down.

Blessings and Love from the Lewis house!

"You've Got Mail"

Our instructions for or Profile book have arrived!  We also received two complete profiles from couples who have recently adopted through Love Basket.  The profiles are packaged the same way, but designed differently.  I've been contemplating how to do our own profile, and think I will stick with the look and style of our Pictorial Essay.  I shared a page or two of our Pictorial Essay back when I was working on it.  I'm going to include the whole presentation in this blog.  I'm not sure how much time I will take to pause and upload profile pages as I create them, but I want to share what we've done so far!  

These pages won't be included in our profile, but some of the pictures will be used for sure!  In addition to photos of ourselves, we need photos with of our parents, friends, cousins...our "social circle" and "support group".  Photos of the apartment, vacation photos, and a brief overview of our income and lifestyle will also be included in our profile.  The most important piece of our profile will be the very first page...our letter to Birth Mothers.  I've read an entire book about how to write this letter.  I've talked to my Adoption Counselor about how to write this letter.  Our agent has given me advice on this letter.  I've read multiple samples of this letter....and it has me the most anxious I've been since we started this whole process.  I know I can write well.  I can connect with others emotionally, both written and verbally.  I'm an emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve.  So the advice I've been given will be easy to follow.  But I can't help but feel "this is IT."  Like I have one shot.  That's not true, because our agency will proof our profile before we make copies of it to send out....but even once they approve it, we're done.  Once the letter is signed, the profile composed, approved, duplicated, and distributed...we wait for God to place it in the right hands.  

This is overwhelming.  My excitement may be the equivalent of a blood test confirming the results of a home pregnancy test mixed with the feeling of actually looking pregnant, having a shower, and physically preparing for Baby's arrival.  I can believe this is happening, but it's more surreal than anything I've experienced to date.  Just before Adam was hired with MM, I told him I felt like we were just sitting in the water.  I saw us in the still of the ocean....knowing the tide was about to come in, the waves would rise and we would not be overtaken by them.  We would rise above them, and enjoy the ride.  That time is here, and it is an amazing, AMAZING adventure.  

Here are the pages of our Pictorial Essay:

 The above pages* were created for Love Basket, in order for them to get to know us a little more.  Our profile book will be similar, but more personal.  It will be created for and addressed to Birth Mothers.  Eventually, I may post sample pages, but I can't commit to it right now.  

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!  Our biggest prayers are for the health and peace of our Birth Mother and her baby and the relationship between our Birth Mother and Birth Father.  We pray they are unified in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby, and we pray everyone goes through this process as healthy as possible and that we all come out stronger on the other side.  Comfort for our Birth Mother is also a prayer.  In addition, we pray for Peace in our household.  Adam and I have some very big decisions coming up and we need to make them together, as a team.  We need to be stronger now than ever before (and we believe we are)!  Our family is growing, and our entire life is about to change. (!!!)

***This just in*** 
 As I was concluding this post, my phone rang.  Our Home Study agent has an approved copy of our report (from her supervisor) and is ready to meet me tomorrow morning so that I can pick it up from her.  Adam and I will review the report for accuracy, sign off on the document, and then it will go straight to Love Basket!  Between now and when I meet our agent in the morning, we need to send her one last piece of information that was forgotten during our visits.  However, that should be completed already (note and a wink to husband: this is your assignment from Wednesday that I'm referring to...) so all we need to do is email it to her!

More to come soon!

*All graphics in this post were created by Nicole Koller.  
Professional photos taken by Jennifer Jayne Photography

I Pray You'll Be Our Eyes...

I have nothing to do.

Okay, that's not entirely true.

I can look into adoptive breastfeeding.
I can keep shopping online for fun baby stuff to add to our registry that I'm working on. 
I can learn more about cloth diapers (holy OVERWHeLMiNG!  This is about the only thing I don't know about taking care of babies and I can't imagine how new moms feel if they've never even touched a baby before!)
I can learn more about adoptive parenting, and parenting in general (PLENTY of literature to read, courtesy of Love Basket)

Or...I can just enjoy the fact that my "To-Do" list is actually empty.  I have one person to follow up with in a couple days and then all we do is wait for approval.

WOOO!!!!

So, I wanted to post since I slacked for so long and thought I would share this:

I was thinking about our training DVDs and all the new information to, you know...think about, and trying to learn all I can from what I was taught.

One of the parenting tips made in our training session was in regards to telling your child about their adoption.  I can write a few small books on everything I've learned, but something new sticks out to me.  One of the speakers made the point to her daughter in about these words, "Daddy and I aren't related, but we are married.  And we are a family because of a promise we made to each other.  And we made that same promise when we adopted you.  You are part of our family now, because we love you.  We will always be family."

If feeling like "the real mom" didn't hit home before, is sure does now.  Every doubt in my mind is gone.  I chose to marry my husband.  And through hell and high water (and the good times, too), I've chosen to STAY married to my husband.  If society can see our union as legally binding and the "best step" toward starting a family....than why can't we use the same promise to build our family?  I don't want to be defensive, because I know a lot of people just don't understand adoption.  I want to convey my realization (my epiphany...if you will...[that one's for you, honey]). 

I promise, from this day forward, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in want, this child whom God is placing in my life.  His child.  I vow to love him or her with all that I am.  To put his or her needs before my own, and to honor and respect him or her until death do us part.  We are one.  By the power of God and the power of the law, our baby will be ours, and we will be his or hers.  Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lewis Family is on a mission.  Of life.  Of hope.  And of unconditional love.

I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, whisper these words in his or her tiny little ears and tiny little heart.  My husband was more than right (yes, I said that) the other day..."all of our dreams are about to come true..."  I don't ever want to wake up!

Thank you for your continued support.  I know I end almost every post with these words, but they are just as sincere today as they were the day before.  We have a tremendous group of God-given family and "chosen family" who have been standing behind us since the very beginning.  Words can't express our gratitude for the letters, emails, gifts, and other love we have received.  Your prayers mean the world to us!  Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents to be united in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby.  And for God to prepare our hearts, all of us, to be open and to communicate lovingly and sincerely.  This is number one on our list right now.  If we can have this, everything else will fall into place.  Thank you, thank you, again and again.

Guess What I Just Did?

Warning: Intense Excitement up Ahead

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!!  

Here's what's left on my To-Do list:
-Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork
-Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!)
-Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit
-Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report
-Wait for approval from LB
-Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval)
-Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family"

Um.  That's all, folks.

PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished!

Keep praying, please!  Everything is going smoothly.  We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D

Moving Right Along

It's been a little quiet on the blog lately, but more than a little bit busy around the house...and the apartment...and the other apartment...

The house is still in negotiations, but it's empty and everything we own is here in Nebraska!  

Our temporary, corporate apartment has been emptied (of the five things we had in there) and keys have been returned. 
 
We are happily settling into our new apartment, which is beautiful (by the way), and things are slowly coming out of boxes, finding a new home.  I have the biggest closet and bathroom I've ever had in my life.  We have crown molding on our bedroom ceiling, and I'm already on a first-name basis with a maintenance guy who has a 24 hour turn-around policy for work orders.  These are all firsts for me...and (in case you can't tell) I'm pretty excited about it!

Our new apartment is mostly brick, on a street facing other apartments (no pool gate, parking lots, or stores in view) and full of big, mature trees that are in full colorful attire for the season!  I love moving in the Fall!  Before now, we have moved in Winter and haven't had the best of experiences.  Compared to those, this move was perfect.  :)

Jovi is a pro at moving and finally gave up being anxious about a new place.  She has had more "homes" (including doggy camps and hotels) in the last 6 months than I have in the last 10 years!  She's happily snuggled and asleep in front of the window, on the arm of the chair, like a cat, as I type this.
 
Okay, on to adoption stuff.  That's what this blog is for!

I've met with our agent from Child Savings Institute and completed my family tree history, talked about my feelings regarding every single even that has occurred in my life and the lives of each and every family member, and talked about how I chose my dog's name. (Remember...I told you I wasn't sure how that meeting was going to go, how relevant it really was, or why half those questions were anyone else's business....but I also said I was done complaining...repeat: I also said I was done complaining....one more time: I also said I was done complaining.)  Okay, I'm good now.  Moving on...

Most of our paperwork that came in, and then went back out, has arrived at its final destination.  A couple references are missing, and a few things on my end are missing.  But EVERYTHING government or physician related IS IN!!  We had a specific set of documents (fingerprints, background checks, criminal histories) that were expected to take five to eight weeks.  EACH of those items came in under three weeks from they day we sent them out!!!  We're still ahead of schedule and things are still exciting!

I can't remember how much I've talked about CPR and First Aid training, but it's required for us as adoptive parents.  There was a form in packet two that needed to be signed, saying that we attended and completed classes for CPR and First Aid.  After a little memory search, a reminder from Adam, and a phone call to the agency...I realized that Adam is already up-to-date for his job.  So we can just send in a copy of his card.  And while my own certification is expired, it's something I've stayed on top of for the last 10 years and is considered current enough for me to send in a copy of my old card and call it good.  Ideally, I will renew my certification soon...but it won't be an issue in the adoption process.  (Woo!  One less "to-do" on my list!)

On that note, due to my field of profession, we are exempt from taking parenting classes!  (Thank you, Jesus!  We don't have to spend a Saturday or two listening to some silly lady teach us how to put diapers on a baby doll and take turns giving said baby a bath or checking said baby's temperature with an ear thermometer...I took that class when I was 14, and I could have helped teach it then, too).  Despite the exemption, we do have to submit some sort of form stating the important facts like when to call a doctor, what types of situations are considered emergencies, and when to call 911.  We also need to list normal vs. fever/alarming body temperatures for a baby, and state our knowledge of basic infant care.  So...I will basically copy and paste a chunk of my resume, have Adam add a little chartie-poo and voila.  Done.  Honey, please sign.  AnnndThanks.

On a personal note (you know, because none of this other stuff we've covered for the last three months is at all personal)I've met with an adoption counselor and am establishing a great relationship with her in the midst of all of this paperwork, moving, preparing for a baby, and interviewing with social workers!  She has been a priceless resource already and I'm excited to have her in my life right now and for the post-placement days to come. 

For the Moment:
I have a long to-do list after touching base with both agents last week.  Today, I have followed up on reference letters for both agencies, sent in our Family Autobiography (you know, the 27,000 questions we had to answer...I sent in one agency's, but FORGOT the other....) and am going down my list of last minute items for Packet II.

I need to print a copy of our Family Autobiography for my own records (which happen to be in a pretty three-ring binder with everything in page protectors, and divided by Packet number and categories such as forms, expenses, receipts, etc.)

I need to create our Pictorial Essay (now that I have our desktop and photos at hand, I can do that this weekend!!)

I need to print copies of the Pictorial Essay for Love Basket and one for myself

[Side Note: all this printing means I need to set up my printer in the apartment...after I find it in the back of the closet...which also means setting up my wireless home network so that my printer can communicate with my computer since we opted *not* to buy the $50.00 cable to manually connect the two devices (and breathe...)]

Also on the list is...wait for it....wait...PACKET III!  What?  Packet III?  I thought there was Packet I and Packet II and then a training DVD.  (yeah, that's what I thought, too).

Well, guess what!  The training "DVD" is actually another folder as big as the last two and is full! "Packet III" (renamed, by Yours Truly, for its actual content) consists of THREE DVDs (about nine hours of viewing pleasure), articles on adoption, articles on parenting, power point slides, and additional handouts...all pieces of the in-person training we chose to opt out of due to the physical distance between us and Love Basket.  They literally mail the day's' training to you.  This is really nice, and really...a little more than I expected.  Looks like "Power Weekend II" went from a weekend for unpacking every last item we own, to ALSO "attending" adoption training in our living room.  Woo!  Life is back to full speed and crazy to-do lists.  Grab the caffeine, the quick dinners, ditch the snooze button and let's go!

Looking Ahead:
Our training is the last part of our paperwork checklist from Packet II.  Once that is completed, we sign a form saying as much and send it to Love Basket.  The only other form to send in is our Open Adoption Agreement which we will continue to hang onto until the very last second.  Our training covers a LOT that will help us make decisions regarding our relationship with our Birth Parents and their relationship with our Baby.  I'm looking forward to sorting through those emotions and coming to a peaceful decision about our future as a family of three+.

I think I've covered everything!  As I type that very statement, I see a small stack of papers I haven't addressed.  Tiny note, but still, I don't want you to think I'm leaving you out of the loop! ;)  I need to send copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, and W-2 forms to our Home Study agency.  Those forms have been sent to Love Basket already, but they were on the list of requirements for our first Home Study meeting and I had overlooked them.  I have them in front of me and our agent is on a two-week vacation.  So, they will stay in front of me...or, at least, in this folder that's in front of me, until our final meeting with her.  

The (final) Home Study meeting is October 24th!  We will cover Adam's family and personal history along with answering questions regarding our parenting philosophy, family traditions, core values, and morals we hope to instill into our children.  "What does is mean to be a Lewis?  To be in your family...what will it look like?" is the question that was posed when I was provided a mini-prep of what is to come.  Alright then...I can do that for you.  Thanks for the heads up on such a loaded question!  I can't answer that five seconds after you ask.  (oh...um...Adam, honey...I forgot to tell you...for our Home Study Meeting in a couple weeks, we need to able to discuss the above content and you need to decide what it means to you, to be a Lewis.)  Okay! Now we're both prepared. ;)

Once the meeting is over, our agent will type up a report that summarizes all three meetings (totaling 8 hours spent together), and send it to Love Basket.  Our adoption agent will review the Home Study and we will move forward in the process.

In an effort to keep your brain from hurting, I'm going to stop here.  I'm sure there are details I've missed.  After a three-week lapse, it's impossible to cover it all.  Comment or email if you're missing anything!  I'm happy to share whatever I may have skipped over!

Prayers continue to revolve around our Birth Parents and their joint decision to place their baby for adoption.  Also, for peace on their journey through this process, and for a healthy Baby and healthy relationships for all of us.

Thank you for your continued support!  We feel nothing but love in every comment, prayer, email, text, and phone call.  Our support system is the best we could ask for!  Feel AWESOME today!  Because you are. ;)

Love, from the Lewises.