Since turning in our profile book two weeks ago, I've added plenty of extra hours to my work week. I'm watching a baby twice a week for a second family, and also doing a little freelance writing for a friend's website (she's an AMAZING baby photographer!) Check out her breath taking work at www.jenniferjayne.com. All of this is helping to keep my mind off of waiting.
My adoption counselor gave me an assignment of finding a new hobby...that isn't adoption related. Um, try telling a pregnant lady not to think about her enormous and ever growing tummy! So far, all I've come up with is work. Work more, make money-don't spend money. I'm sure this makes my husband smile, but the point was to do something fun and relaxing. Why is that so hard to do?
I talked to our agent today and we have the option of posting an abbreviated version of our profile book online. By doing this, we make ourselves visible to the public. A pregnant mother can view these profiles without necessarily being a client...whereas, the books are only available to those already in contact with LB. That being said, we sort of increase our chances, ever so slightly. I plan to get an online version of our profile ready for posting by the end of this month.
This waiting game sucks. I tried to filter the previous statement, but its my reality. I'm not dwelling on my urge for a baby day in and day out, but I'm finding myself thinking those "now what do I do with my life?", kind of thoughts. But, it's not like I need a career change...or any change for that matter. I love what Im doing with my life! I just want to be at home with my new Baby. I want to start a relationship with his or her Birth Family. I want to have endless visits with our own families, to introduce Baby Lewis to all the crazies we already love so much. ;)
That's all I have for today. I'm off to think of a project I can start before I go find a fourth job just for kicks....
Please keep us in your prayers. We know our Baby is going to show up when God is everyone ready. We need peace in our wait and we ask for peace for our Birth parents and their family. Prayers for a healthy, happy, baby are also requested. Thank you so so much for staying on this journey with us! I will try to keep everyone updated more often now that the holidays are over and things are settling down.
Blessings and Love from the Lewis house!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, November 12, 2012
"You've Got Mail"
Our instructions for or Profile book have arrived! We also received two complete profiles from couples who have recently adopted through Love Basket. The profiles are packaged the same way, but designed differently. I've been contemplating how to do our own profile, and think I will stick with the look and style of our Pictorial Essay. I shared a page or two of our Pictorial Essay back when I was working on it. I'm going to include the whole presentation in this blog. I'm not sure how much time I will take to pause and upload profile pages as I create them, but I want to share what we've done so far!
These pages won't be included in our profile, but some of the pictures will be used for sure! In addition to photos of ourselves, we need photos with of our parents, friends, cousins...our "social circle" and "support group". Photos of the apartment, vacation photos, and a brief overview of our income and lifestyle will also be included in our profile. The most important piece of our profile will be the very first page...our letter to Birth Mothers. I've read an entire book about how to write this letter. I've talked to my Adoption Counselor about how to write this letter. Our agent has given me advice on this letter. I've read multiple samples of this letter....and it has me the most anxious I've been since we started this whole process. I know I can write well. I can connect with others emotionally, both written and verbally. I'm an emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve. So the advice I've been given will be easy to follow. But I can't help but feel "this is IT." Like I have one shot. That's not true, because our agency will proof our profile before we make copies of it to send out....but even once they approve it, we're done. Once the letter is signed, the profile composed, approved, duplicated, and distributed...we wait for God to place it in the right hands.
This is overwhelming. My excitement may be the equivalent of a blood test confirming the results of a home pregnancy test mixed with the feeling of actually looking pregnant, having a shower, and physically preparing for Baby's arrival. I can believe this is happening, but it's more surreal than anything I've experienced to date. Just before Adam was hired with MM, I told him I felt like we were just sitting in the water. I saw us in the still of the ocean....knowing the tide was about to come in, the waves would rise and we would not be overtaken by them. We would rise above them, and enjoy the ride. That time is here, and it is an amazing, AMAZING adventure.
Here are the pages of our Pictorial Essay:
The above pages* were created for Love Basket, in order for them to get to know us a little more. Our profile book will be similar, but more personal. It will be created for and addressed to Birth Mothers. Eventually, I may post sample pages, but I can't commit to it right now.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support! Our biggest prayers are for the health and peace of our Birth Mother and her baby and the relationship between our Birth Mother and Birth Father. We pray they are unified in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby, and we pray everyone goes through this process as healthy as possible and that we all come out stronger on the other side. Comfort for our Birth Mother is also a prayer. In addition, we pray for Peace in our household. Adam and I have some very big decisions coming up and we need to make them together, as a team. We need to be stronger now than ever before (and we believe we are)! Our family is growing, and our entire life is about to change. (!!!)
***This just in***
As I was concluding this post, my phone rang. Our Home Study agent has an approved copy of our report (from her supervisor) and is ready to meet me tomorrow morning so that I can pick it up from her. Adam and I will review the report for accuracy, sign off on the document, and then it will go straight to Love Basket! Between now and when I meet our agent in the morning, we need to send her one last piece of information that was forgotten during our visits. However, that should be completed already (note and a wink to husband: this is your assignment from Wednesday that I'm referring to...) so all we need to do is email it to her!
More to come soon!
*All graphics in this post were created by Nicole Koller.
Professional photos taken by Jennifer Jayne Photography
These pages won't be included in our profile, but some of the pictures will be used for sure! In addition to photos of ourselves, we need photos with of our parents, friends, cousins...our "social circle" and "support group". Photos of the apartment, vacation photos, and a brief overview of our income and lifestyle will also be included in our profile. The most important piece of our profile will be the very first page...our letter to Birth Mothers. I've read an entire book about how to write this letter. I've talked to my Adoption Counselor about how to write this letter. Our agent has given me advice on this letter. I've read multiple samples of this letter....and it has me the most anxious I've been since we started this whole process. I know I can write well. I can connect with others emotionally, both written and verbally. I'm an emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve. So the advice I've been given will be easy to follow. But I can't help but feel "this is IT." Like I have one shot. That's not true, because our agency will proof our profile before we make copies of it to send out....but even once they approve it, we're done. Once the letter is signed, the profile composed, approved, duplicated, and distributed...we wait for God to place it in the right hands.
This is overwhelming. My excitement may be the equivalent of a blood test confirming the results of a home pregnancy test mixed with the feeling of actually looking pregnant, having a shower, and physically preparing for Baby's arrival. I can believe this is happening, but it's more surreal than anything I've experienced to date. Just before Adam was hired with MM, I told him I felt like we were just sitting in the water. I saw us in the still of the ocean....knowing the tide was about to come in, the waves would rise and we would not be overtaken by them. We would rise above them, and enjoy the ride. That time is here, and it is an amazing, AMAZING adventure.
Here are the pages of our Pictorial Essay:
The above pages* were created for Love Basket, in order for them to get to know us a little more. Our profile book will be similar, but more personal. It will be created for and addressed to Birth Mothers. Eventually, I may post sample pages, but I can't commit to it right now.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support! Our biggest prayers are for the health and peace of our Birth Mother and her baby and the relationship between our Birth Mother and Birth Father. We pray they are unified in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby, and we pray everyone goes through this process as healthy as possible and that we all come out stronger on the other side. Comfort for our Birth Mother is also a prayer. In addition, we pray for Peace in our household. Adam and I have some very big decisions coming up and we need to make them together, as a team. We need to be stronger now than ever before (and we believe we are)! Our family is growing, and our entire life is about to change. (!!!)
***This just in***
As I was concluding this post, my phone rang. Our Home Study agent has an approved copy of our report (from her supervisor) and is ready to meet me tomorrow morning so that I can pick it up from her. Adam and I will review the report for accuracy, sign off on the document, and then it will go straight to Love Basket! Between now and when I meet our agent in the morning, we need to send her one last piece of information that was forgotten during our visits. However, that should be completed already (note and a wink to husband: this is your assignment from Wednesday that I'm referring to...) so all we need to do is email it to her!
More to come soon!
*All graphics in this post were created by Nicole Koller.
Professional photos taken by Jennifer Jayne Photography
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Do Not be Consumed
Do Not be Consumed
This has been the soft whisper of my inner voice, my conscience, the Holy Spirit. There are a million things to do, learn, read, and act on regarding our adoption process. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, and at one point, decided, "I don't want to be the Mom who spends so much time reading and preaching about parenting....that I forget to actually parent." You know who I'm talking about, the Mom with five blogs about budgeting, child entertainment, cooking, and so on. She's always preaching on Facebook about what not to do with your toddler, or she's tweeting pro-(pick-a-mom-rant)s. And....her baby is the one who fell out of the Bumbo...that was on the edge of the counter... My baby isn't with me, yet. But I have consumed myself with adoption everything. I needed to take as step back. While being a Mom is the most important job in the world, next to being a Daddy....I don't want "Mom" to be all that I am. I don't want my husband to wonder where his wife went, because I only ever call him "Daddy" and talk in that annoying, high-pitched "Baby Voice." (Because we all know how sexy that sounds....) I want to have hobbies aside from finger painting with yogurt and corn on the cob. I love to do these things, but I realized at one point that ALL I was doing, was adoption paperwork, adoption phone calls, adoption counseling, and baby shopping, baby planning, etc. And I don't want to be that way.
So, I went to Target. I bought Ellen's new book, which has nothing to do with adoption. I made a Halloween pumpkin full of chocolate and I drove to Denver to visit my best friend for a day and a half, and drove back. I went shopping for random things I don't need (not baby stuff). I called my Grandma, and we didn't talk about adoption. I cancelled a counseling session, and didn't blog for awhile. I spent a weekend in yoga pants, on the couch with my husband. I made new recipes, and got dressed up for dinner out (that didn't involve adoption talk or baby shopping after eating). A lot of thoughts have made their way in and out of my head, and I wanted to blog about them....but then I just wanted to "be". So I did.
This week, I touched base with all necessary adoption folk, made myself a to-do list and am happy to say that the sky did not start falling when I took time to just be me. Not me expecting a baby....but just me. Here's where we are with things:
-Our Home Study Agent is about a day away from finishing our report. (WOOO!) She will call when it is finished and then Adam and I will review for accuracy before she sends it to Love Basket.
-Love Basket is waiting on our Home Study report and a letter from one of my doctors.
-Our adoption agent at LB has been approving our documents as I've been sending them in (another Wooo!) She told me yesterday that she doesn't see any red flags and doesn't anticipate anything keeping us from being approved to proceed with adoption. That being said, she asked if I wanted our profile packet early. Um....ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES, PLEASE!!!!! After laughing at my enthusiasm, she dropped our packet in the mail so I should have it in a couple days.
-Our Profile packet includes instructions for creating our Profile Book as well as a couple sample books from couples who have adopted through LB. Once we create our book, it is sent to the agency as a draft. We will be notified of any changes that need to be made and then make them. Once our final version is complete, we make six more copies and out they go!
-Back to the approval of Packet II. While our agent has been approving things as we go, the rest of the committee won't review our file until all documentation has been received. This way our file stays in tact, nothing is removed or lost, etc.
-During our wait for approval of Packet II, we will have a phone interview with an agent from Love Basket. This is for them to get to know us a little more before representing us when speaking to Birth Parents. Because they didn't do our Home Study, they only have our paperwork and a couple photographs to go on. That's really not much when you're talking to someone about finding a home and wonderful parents for her child. So, I fully understand this interview and am actually looking forward to. (Possibly because it's a final step??)
-HOLY TOLEDO, BATMAN! Shit just go real. Pardon my "french". But this is all happening! It's really really happening! I know there's a wait period after all the paperwork, but I don't even care! If we don't get matched for a year....that's okay! We're waiting! And we're official! And we're "on the market". We are actually an OPTION for Birth Parents! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!
-Okay, I'm good now. From the sound of things with "all our people", we should be available for Birth Parents by the end of the year. Which puts a very very happy light on 2013!!!
-That's all I have for now. It's BIG and it's wonderful and overwhelmingly exciting! I will share profile details as soon as my packet arrives!
Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents. Pray that God places an obvious peace on all our hearts, that He brings us together in a way that only He can. Pray for unity with our Birth Parents in their decision to make an adoption plan. And continue to pray for Baby's big big family: Birth family, Adopted family. More people to love you also means more relationships to foster. We need God's grace and guidance to do this well.
I hope to post on a few topics in the middle of updates. However, they may not happen with the holidays approaching... at the least, I will share profile pages as I create them!
Thank you! Thank you! For your continued prayer and support!
This has been the soft whisper of my inner voice, my conscience, the Holy Spirit. There are a million things to do, learn, read, and act on regarding our adoption process. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, and at one point, decided, "I don't want to be the Mom who spends so much time reading and preaching about parenting....that I forget to actually parent." You know who I'm talking about, the Mom with five blogs about budgeting, child entertainment, cooking, and so on. She's always preaching on Facebook about what not to do with your toddler, or she's tweeting pro-(pick-a-mom-rant)s. And....her baby is the one who fell out of the Bumbo...that was on the edge of the counter... My baby isn't with me, yet. But I have consumed myself with adoption everything. I needed to take as step back. While being a Mom is the most important job in the world, next to being a Daddy....I don't want "Mom" to be all that I am. I don't want my husband to wonder where his wife went, because I only ever call him "Daddy" and talk in that annoying, high-pitched "Baby Voice." (Because we all know how sexy that sounds....) I want to have hobbies aside from finger painting with yogurt and corn on the cob. I love to do these things, but I realized at one point that ALL I was doing, was adoption paperwork, adoption phone calls, adoption counseling, and baby shopping, baby planning, etc. And I don't want to be that way.
So, I went to Target. I bought Ellen's new book, which has nothing to do with adoption. I made a Halloween pumpkin full of chocolate and I drove to Denver to visit my best friend for a day and a half, and drove back. I went shopping for random things I don't need (not baby stuff). I called my Grandma, and we didn't talk about adoption. I cancelled a counseling session, and didn't blog for awhile. I spent a weekend in yoga pants, on the couch with my husband. I made new recipes, and got dressed up for dinner out (that didn't involve adoption talk or baby shopping after eating). A lot of thoughts have made their way in and out of my head, and I wanted to blog about them....but then I just wanted to "be". So I did.
This week, I touched base with all necessary adoption folk, made myself a to-do list and am happy to say that the sky did not start falling when I took time to just be me. Not me expecting a baby....but just me. Here's where we are with things:
-Our Home Study Agent is about a day away from finishing our report. (WOOO!) She will call when it is finished and then Adam and I will review for accuracy before she sends it to Love Basket.
-Love Basket is waiting on our Home Study report and a letter from one of my doctors.
-Our adoption agent at LB has been approving our documents as I've been sending them in (another Wooo!) She told me yesterday that she doesn't see any red flags and doesn't anticipate anything keeping us from being approved to proceed with adoption. That being said, she asked if I wanted our profile packet early. Um....ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES, PLEASE!!!!! After laughing at my enthusiasm, she dropped our packet in the mail so I should have it in a couple days.
-Our Profile packet includes instructions for creating our Profile Book as well as a couple sample books from couples who have adopted through LB. Once we create our book, it is sent to the agency as a draft. We will be notified of any changes that need to be made and then make them. Once our final version is complete, we make six more copies and out they go!
-Back to the approval of Packet II. While our agent has been approving things as we go, the rest of the committee won't review our file until all documentation has been received. This way our file stays in tact, nothing is removed or lost, etc.
-During our wait for approval of Packet II, we will have a phone interview with an agent from Love Basket. This is for them to get to know us a little more before representing us when speaking to Birth Parents. Because they didn't do our Home Study, they only have our paperwork and a couple photographs to go on. That's really not much when you're talking to someone about finding a home and wonderful parents for her child. So, I fully understand this interview and am actually looking forward to. (Possibly because it's a final step??)
-HOLY TOLEDO, BATMAN! Shit just go real. Pardon my "french". But this is all happening! It's really really happening! I know there's a wait period after all the paperwork, but I don't even care! If we don't get matched for a year....that's okay! We're waiting! And we're official! And we're "on the market". We are actually an OPTION for Birth Parents! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!
-Okay, I'm good now. From the sound of things with "all our people", we should be available for Birth Parents by the end of the year. Which puts a very very happy light on 2013!!!
-That's all I have for now. It's BIG and it's wonderful and overwhelmingly exciting! I will share profile details as soon as my packet arrives!
Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents. Pray that God places an obvious peace on all our hearts, that He brings us together in a way that only He can. Pray for unity with our Birth Parents in their decision to make an adoption plan. And continue to pray for Baby's big big family: Birth family, Adopted family. More people to love you also means more relationships to foster. We need God's grace and guidance to do this well.
I hope to post on a few topics in the middle of updates. However, they may not happen with the holidays approaching... at the least, I will share profile pages as I create them!
Thank you! Thank you! For your continued prayer and support!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Home Study #3...Check!
Slooowwwlllllyyyyy, but surely, we are completing paperwork! Our Home Study agent is back from vacation, has all of our paperwork and came over yesterday for our final Pre-Adoption Home Study meeting. She arrived at 9:00am and we were able to finish by 11:45. Adam and I had focused our energy on preparing for questions like "What is your parenting philosophy?" that I completely forgot to prepare myself for the Family Tree portion.
During the Family Tree diagramming, we name ourselves, siblings, parents, their siblings, and grandparents, then elaborate on each. I was totally fine hearing Adam talk about his family, until we came to grandparents. We've lost two of Adam's grandparents in the last few years and it has been hard on us. Our agent asked about Grandpa H....and I was fine, then she asked about Grandma's age. To which Adam replied, "um....she is deceased." Annnd I cried. So we talked about Grandma's personality when she was with us, her temperament, demeanor, character, etc. Annnd I cried. Luckily we broke the cry fest with Gramma Lewis, who is still with us! But...then it was time for Grandpa Lewis...annnnd I cried. I think I excused myself from the table three different times. We thought we were in the clear, but after asking Adam to describe his sister and her husband, we moved on to Adam. She told him not to say anything, because she wanted my perspective. Annnnd I cried. "President of the fan club" was her note next to my name, concerning Adam. After I told her how amazing my husband is, she asked him if he had anything to add. So he did get a chance to chime in. We moved on (finally) to the questions regarding parenting ideas, traditions, holiday plans, openness in adoption (aaahhh!!! I thought I was finished there!), ideas concerning discipline, and many more things I no longer remember. When the meeting was over, I felt the flood gates had opened and anxiety rushed out of me, wave after wave. I felt relieved to have our meetings finished! Our training finished! Our paperwork finished!
So from here:
-Our CSI agent needs to review her notes next week, write up a report about us, and send it to Love Basket. She is looking at just over two weeks for turnaround time.
-I need to follow up with two doctors regarding release forms for information that has yet to arrive at LB.
-Love Basket will receive the above documents, review, and report back with us regarding our approval of Packet II.
-Shortly after the approval process, we can expect our profile guidelines to arrive in the mail! I'm pretty sure the second that packet arrives, the rest of the world will cease to exist. I will be glued to my computer and working on page after page in hopes of completing our first draft as soon as possible!
I will keep you posted on details of the profile book once I receive the information!
Thank you for your continued prayer and support! Please keep praying for a unified plan of adoption from our Birth Parents. This is at the top of our list right now.
Happy Thursday!
During the Family Tree diagramming, we name ourselves, siblings, parents, their siblings, and grandparents, then elaborate on each. I was totally fine hearing Adam talk about his family, until we came to grandparents. We've lost two of Adam's grandparents in the last few years and it has been hard on us. Our agent asked about Grandpa H....and I was fine, then she asked about Grandma's age. To which Adam replied, "um....she is deceased." Annnd I cried. So we talked about Grandma's personality when she was with us, her temperament, demeanor, character, etc. Annnd I cried. Luckily we broke the cry fest with Gramma Lewis, who is still with us! But...then it was time for Grandpa Lewis...annnnd I cried. I think I excused myself from the table three different times. We thought we were in the clear, but after asking Adam to describe his sister and her husband, we moved on to Adam. She told him not to say anything, because she wanted my perspective. Annnnd I cried. "President of the fan club" was her note next to my name, concerning Adam. After I told her how amazing my husband is, she asked him if he had anything to add. So he did get a chance to chime in. We moved on (finally) to the questions regarding parenting ideas, traditions, holiday plans, openness in adoption (aaahhh!!! I thought I was finished there!), ideas concerning discipline, and many more things I no longer remember. When the meeting was over, I felt the flood gates had opened and anxiety rushed out of me, wave after wave. I felt relieved to have our meetings finished! Our training finished! Our paperwork finished!
So from here:
-Our CSI agent needs to review her notes next week, write up a report about us, and send it to Love Basket. She is looking at just over two weeks for turnaround time.
-I need to follow up with two doctors regarding release forms for information that has yet to arrive at LB.
-Love Basket will receive the above documents, review, and report back with us regarding our approval of Packet II.
-Shortly after the approval process, we can expect our profile guidelines to arrive in the mail! I'm pretty sure the second that packet arrives, the rest of the world will cease to exist. I will be glued to my computer and working on page after page in hopes of completing our first draft as soon as possible!
I will keep you posted on details of the profile book once I receive the information!
Thank you for your continued prayer and support! Please keep praying for a unified plan of adoption from our Birth Parents. This is at the top of our list right now.
Happy Thursday!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Home Study Meeting Tomorrow!
It's been a week since my last post, and that's not exactly how I would like this to go. However, I've been avoiding blogging about my feelings because...well, sometimes our feeling can consume us and because there isn't really anything tactile left to do, I'm just thinking about a gazillion things like our relationship with our birth parents, bonding with Baby, options for breastfeeding (or possibly not breastfeeding) Baby, My husband's work hours and how our family life might look, the fact that our contract fell through on our house, so now we're paying for two homes....something we didn't plan on doing until.....um....probably never, what our baby's name might be, Baby's gender, different ideas about parenting a boy as opposed to a girl, and (Adam, don't read this one) what if we have surprise twins? Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for reading the world's longest sentence. That's what's been going on in my head.
Out in the real world, I've been building a baby registry, which IS SO MUCH STINKIN' FUN!!!! I found a site that hosts your registry regardless of where you like to shop. This means that my quilt I've wanted (for the last five years) from Land of Nod can go on the same registry as our car seat from BabysRus, along with essentials I found at Target and our cloth diapers from a couple different websites! Woo hoo! I guess the downside is that it makes shopping in store a little more difficult, but I'm working on a way to help with that. The registry has been a huge time filler and I'm only doing it because I keep being told that we have to have one, even though we will be so excited to just to have our baby, and introduce him or her, that gifts will surely be over the top. I have to admit though, the request is one I'm fulfilling with glee. ;) Who doesn't love making a wish list??
Our final reference letter has arrived at its destination, and tomorrow is our last Home Study meeting. Our social worker will be at our house at 9am and should be finished at Noon. We have a lot to cover, so hopefully she's a quick worker tomorrow! Items on the meeting agenda:
-Adam's family tree and family history
-Our family values
-What it means to each of us to be a Lewis
-What is means to be a family
-What are our ideas of parenting, what is important and how will we handle specific issues
-What are our existing traditions and what new traditions do we hope to start with our own family?
-How will we plan to celebrate holidays
-What are the rules in our house?
-How do we think things will change once a baby arrives?
-And a million other related questions
I feel like the answer to a lot of those questions will depend on our child's temperament and personality. All children thrive in different ways, express themselves differently, and some need discipline methods that may not be so mainstream. We will have to deal with issues as they come. But, I do know this. Adam and I are a team. And adding a baby, is adding a team mate...a "Lewis in training." Whatever comes our way (temper tantrums, karate trophies, volleyball state championships, lost soccer games, new family members, and spilled milk...)we will handle as a team. And when someone needs a "time out". We'll allow it. Foul play....will come with penalties, and home runs will be celebrated together. Our friends and family will be our cheer leaders and we'll make it through all of life with our spirits high and our eye on the ball. I'm getting a little cheesy with the metaphor, but the point is getting across, no?
After the Home Study meeting, we wait for our social worker to type up her report on us. She will send it to Love Basket, and then we wait for LB to approve Packet II. Hopefully this goes as quickly as our approval of Packet I (24 hours)!!! We shall see...
Once we're approved, we receive guidelines for our profile book along with samples of books from matched families. I'll share details from that point once we get there. We're still moving quickly, just don't have as much to do so there's a little less to write about.
Another thing I am thinking about this week is a letter to our Birth Mother. Every profile books requires this letter, and my adoption counselor is helping me think of what and how to write one. I have a book to read that's full of advice and samples, a DVD to watch, and then a little online reading to further educate myself. I'm hoping to have my letter drafted by the time our profile book guidelines come in. Then, I can get to work on the picture stuff. That's going to be a lot of fun! (Grandmas are currently working on gathering past photos and sending this way. If you have any of your own pictures we've taken together, feel free to send them....you know, for proof we have friends. You can email them to me or take a field trip to the post office if you like!)
I will be back after tomorrow's meeting with an update. Hopefully, before next Tuesday!
Keep praying! And thanks for keeping up with the details. We love our friends and family, and feel the support every day!
Out in the real world, I've been building a baby registry, which IS SO MUCH STINKIN' FUN!!!! I found a site that hosts your registry regardless of where you like to shop. This means that my quilt I've wanted (for the last five years) from Land of Nod can go on the same registry as our car seat from BabysRus, along with essentials I found at Target and our cloth diapers from a couple different websites! Woo hoo! I guess the downside is that it makes shopping in store a little more difficult, but I'm working on a way to help with that. The registry has been a huge time filler and I'm only doing it because I keep being told that we have to have one, even though we will be so excited to just to have our baby, and introduce him or her, that gifts will surely be over the top. I have to admit though, the request is one I'm fulfilling with glee. ;) Who doesn't love making a wish list??
Our final reference letter has arrived at its destination, and tomorrow is our last Home Study meeting. Our social worker will be at our house at 9am and should be finished at Noon. We have a lot to cover, so hopefully she's a quick worker tomorrow! Items on the meeting agenda:
-Adam's family tree and family history
-Our family values
-What it means to each of us to be a Lewis
-What is means to be a family
-What are our ideas of parenting, what is important and how will we handle specific issues
-What are our existing traditions and what new traditions do we hope to start with our own family?
-How will we plan to celebrate holidays
-What are the rules in our house?
-How do we think things will change once a baby arrives?
-And a million other related questions
I feel like the answer to a lot of those questions will depend on our child's temperament and personality. All children thrive in different ways, express themselves differently, and some need discipline methods that may not be so mainstream. We will have to deal with issues as they come. But, I do know this. Adam and I are a team. And adding a baby, is adding a team mate...a "Lewis in training." Whatever comes our way (temper tantrums, karate trophies, volleyball state championships, lost soccer games, new family members, and spilled milk...)we will handle as a team. And when someone needs a "time out". We'll allow it. Foul play....will come with penalties, and home runs will be celebrated together. Our friends and family will be our cheer leaders and we'll make it through all of life with our spirits high and our eye on the ball. I'm getting a little cheesy with the metaphor, but the point is getting across, no?
After the Home Study meeting, we wait for our social worker to type up her report on us. She will send it to Love Basket, and then we wait for LB to approve Packet II. Hopefully this goes as quickly as our approval of Packet I (24 hours)!!! We shall see...
Once we're approved, we receive guidelines for our profile book along with samples of books from matched families. I'll share details from that point once we get there. We're still moving quickly, just don't have as much to do so there's a little less to write about.
Another thing I am thinking about this week is a letter to our Birth Mother. Every profile books requires this letter, and my adoption counselor is helping me think of what and how to write one. I have a book to read that's full of advice and samples, a DVD to watch, and then a little online reading to further educate myself. I'm hoping to have my letter drafted by the time our profile book guidelines come in. Then, I can get to work on the picture stuff. That's going to be a lot of fun! (Grandmas are currently working on gathering past photos and sending this way. If you have any of your own pictures we've taken together, feel free to send them....you know, for proof we have friends. You can email them to me or take a field trip to the post office if you like!)
I will be back after tomorrow's meeting with an update. Hopefully, before next Tuesday!
Keep praying! And thanks for keeping up with the details. We love our friends and family, and feel the support every day!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
I Pray You'll Be Our Eyes...
I have nothing to do.
Okay, that's not entirely true.
I can look into adoptive breastfeeding.
I can keep shopping online for fun baby stuff to add to our registry that I'm working on.
I can learn more about cloth diapers (holy OVERWHeLMiNG! This is about the only thing I don't know about taking care of babies and I can't imagine how new moms feel if they've never even touched a baby before!)
I can learn more about adoptive parenting, and parenting in general (PLENTY of literature to read, courtesy of Love Basket)
Or...I can just enjoy the fact that my "To-Do" list is actually empty. I have one person to follow up with in a couple days and then all we do is wait for approval.
WOOO!!!!
So, I wanted to post since I slacked for so long and thought I would share this:
I was thinking about our training DVDs and all the new information to, you know...think about, and trying to learn all I can from what I was taught.
One of the parenting tips made in our training session was in regards to telling your child about their adoption. I can write a few small books on everything I've learned, but something new sticks out to me. One of the speakers made the point to her daughter in about these words, "Daddy and I aren't related, but we are married. And we are a family because of a promise we made to each other. And we made that same promise when we adopted you. You are part of our family now, because we love you. We will always be family."
If feeling like "the real mom" didn't hit home before, is sure does now. Every doubt in my mind is gone. I chose to marry my husband. And through hell and high water (and the good times, too), I've chosen to STAY married to my husband. If society can see our union as legally binding and the "best step" toward starting a family....than why can't we use the same promise to build our family? I don't want to be defensive, because I know a lot of people just don't understand adoption. I want to convey my realization (my epiphany...if you will...[that one's for you, honey]).
I promise, from this day forward, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in want, this child whom God is placing in my life. His child. I vow to love him or her with all that I am. To put his or her needs before my own, and to honor and respect him or her until death do us part. We are one. By the power of God and the power of the law, our baby will be ours, and we will be his or hers. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lewis Family is on a mission. Of life. Of hope. And of unconditional love.
I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, whisper these words in his or her tiny little ears and tiny little heart. My husband was more than right (yes, I said that) the other day..."all of our dreams are about to come true..." I don't ever want to wake up!
Thank you for your continued support. I know I end almost every post with these words, but they are just as sincere today as they were the day before. We have a tremendous group of God-given family and "chosen family" who have been standing behind us since the very beginning. Words can't express our gratitude for the letters, emails, gifts, and other love we have received. Your prayers mean the world to us! Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents to be united in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby. And for God to prepare our hearts, all of us, to be open and to communicate lovingly and sincerely. This is number one on our list right now. If we can have this, everything else will fall into place. Thank you, thank you, again and again.
Okay, that's not entirely true.
I can look into adoptive breastfeeding.
I can keep shopping online for fun baby stuff to add to our registry that I'm working on.
I can learn more about cloth diapers (holy OVERWHeLMiNG! This is about the only thing I don't know about taking care of babies and I can't imagine how new moms feel if they've never even touched a baby before!)
I can learn more about adoptive parenting, and parenting in general (PLENTY of literature to read, courtesy of Love Basket)
Or...I can just enjoy the fact that my "To-Do" list is actually empty. I have one person to follow up with in a couple days and then all we do is wait for approval.
WOOO!!!!
So, I wanted to post since I slacked for so long and thought I would share this:
I was thinking about our training DVDs and all the new information to, you know...think about, and trying to learn all I can from what I was taught.
One of the parenting tips made in our training session was in regards to telling your child about their adoption. I can write a few small books on everything I've learned, but something new sticks out to me. One of the speakers made the point to her daughter in about these words, "Daddy and I aren't related, but we are married. And we are a family because of a promise we made to each other. And we made that same promise when we adopted you. You are part of our family now, because we love you. We will always be family."
If feeling like "the real mom" didn't hit home before, is sure does now. Every doubt in my mind is gone. I chose to marry my husband. And through hell and high water (and the good times, too), I've chosen to STAY married to my husband. If society can see our union as legally binding and the "best step" toward starting a family....than why can't we use the same promise to build our family? I don't want to be defensive, because I know a lot of people just don't understand adoption. I want to convey my realization (my epiphany...if you will...[that one's for you, honey]).
I promise, from this day forward, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in want, this child whom God is placing in my life. His child. I vow to love him or her with all that I am. To put his or her needs before my own, and to honor and respect him or her until death do us part. We are one. By the power of God and the power of the law, our baby will be ours, and we will be his or hers. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lewis Family is on a mission. Of life. Of hope. And of unconditional love.
I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, whisper these words in his or her tiny little ears and tiny little heart. My husband was more than right (yes, I said that) the other day..."all of our dreams are about to come true..." I don't ever want to wake up!
Thank you for your continued support. I know I end almost every post with these words, but they are just as sincere today as they were the day before. We have a tremendous group of God-given family and "chosen family" who have been standing behind us since the very beginning. Words can't express our gratitude for the letters, emails, gifts, and other love we have received. Your prayers mean the world to us! Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents to be united in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby. And for God to prepare our hearts, all of us, to be open and to communicate lovingly and sincerely. This is number one on our list right now. If we can have this, everything else will fall into place. Thank you, thank you, again and again.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Guess What I Just Did?
Warning: Intense Excitement up Ahead
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!!
Here's what's left on my To-Do list:
-Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork
-Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!)
-Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit
-Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report
-Wait for approval from LB
-Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval)
-Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family"
Um. That's all, folks.
PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished!
Keep praying, please! Everything is going smoothly. We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!!
Here's what's left on my To-Do list:
-Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork
-Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!)
-Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit
-Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report
-Wait for approval from LB
-Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval)
-Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family"
Um. That's all, folks.
PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished!
Keep praying, please! Everything is going smoothly. We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D
Friday, October 12, 2012
Stuck in the Mud
I'm beginning to feel defeated by all this paper work. As soon as I think I'm finished (remember the exciting post about having five things left to do), I come up with another mile-long To-Do list!
Here's what I'm looking at, in no specific order, really:
-Follow-up with last reference for Love Basket
-Mail Missouri Background Forms (these were forgotten in Packet II)
-Photocopy Adam's CPR Card
-Obtain (read: find) my CPR Card
-Mail copies of both cards to LB
-Follow up with CSI Agent (on October 15th)
-Print Pictorial Essay for our records
-Print Family Autobiography for our records
-Print certificate from Adoption Learning Partners (our online class)
-Send copy of ALP certificate to LB
-Deliver forgotten forms and certificates to CSI (W-2s, Birth Certificates, Marriage License...to be presented at our final Pre-Adoption Home Study meeting)
-Finish LB Adoption Training (Discussion Panel, last part of disk 3)
-Get signatures from Adam (I have a stack of papers for him, it's been awhile...I bet he misses getting stacks of paper from me, you now, because it's so sexy)
-Sign and Send DVD Training Form (says we completed the training via DVD)
-Fill out Contact with Birth Parents worksheet (dun dun dun...)
Okay. That's my list. Hopefully I can tackle most of this over the weekend! I've been working non-stop on moving and can't believe how quickly time is going by while my adoption list grows and grows. I *think about it a LOT...but thinking and doing are NOT the same. (too bad, man).
I've had a million thoughts as I've been *not* doing things on my list and I can't even remember what all has gone through my head. Plenty of times I thought, "ooh, I should blog about this...it's kind of important." And then three days go by and I forget that I wanted to blog about...wait, what was it I was so caught up in yesterday?...So, yeah, that's how it goes when you're moving and adopting, and moving, and selling a house all at the same time.
I DID, however, think (and remember that I thought) about going back to school. There is a psychology class on my list of requirements that I was saving for when I transferred to a University. However, I *can* take it at the community college level. It's a class on child growth and development that I think would teach me an invaluable amount of information regarding the psychology and brain development of our new baby and how to implement the most important measures regarding attachment and bonding. I'm missing out on the first 9 months of this, so we will have some catching up to do from the get-go!
And then I realized, I have so much on my plate....how on EARTH would I handle going back to school right now? "Keep your feet on the ground. Keep your feet on the ground." "When you get bored, grab your To-Do list...don't ADD more hats to your head!"
So, now I'm sane again and dreaming of a day I go back to school. I'm happily dreaming, not feeling like I'm missing out on anything...just realize I miss school. Wait. Yes. Yes, I just said that I miss school. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been a semester off and I could use at least another year off....but I already miss it. Beeeecause I'm a little bit crazy. But most of you already knew that.
Our gratitude continues as we receive phenomenal support! Please keep praying for us, for our Birth Parents, and for our BABY!!!! Baby Lewis seems so so very close. We're excited, pressing on, and enjoying life while we wait.
Here's what I'm looking at, in no specific order, really:
-Follow-up with last reference for Love Basket
-Mail Missouri Background Forms (these were forgotten in Packet II)
-Photocopy Adam's CPR Card
-Obtain (read: find) my CPR Card
-Mail copies of both cards to LB
-Follow up with CSI Agent (on October 15th)
-Print Pictorial Essay for our records
-Print Family Autobiography for our records
-Print certificate from Adoption Learning Partners (our online class)
-Send copy of ALP certificate to LB
-Deliver forgotten forms and certificates to CSI (W-2s, Birth Certificates, Marriage License...to be presented at our final Pre-Adoption Home Study meeting)
-Finish LB Adoption Training (Discussion Panel, last part of disk 3)
-Get signatures from Adam (I have a stack of papers for him, it's been awhile...I bet he misses getting stacks of paper from me, you now, because it's so sexy)
-Sign and Send DVD Training Form (says we completed the training via DVD)
-Fill out Contact with Birth Parents worksheet (dun dun dun...)
Okay. That's my list. Hopefully I can tackle most of this over the weekend! I've been working non-stop on moving and can't believe how quickly time is going by while my adoption list grows and grows. I *think about it a LOT...but thinking and doing are NOT the same. (too bad, man).
I've had a million thoughts as I've been *not* doing things on my list and I can't even remember what all has gone through my head. Plenty of times I thought, "ooh, I should blog about this...it's kind of important." And then three days go by and I forget that I wanted to blog about...wait, what was it I was so caught up in yesterday?...So, yeah, that's how it goes when you're moving and adopting, and moving, and selling a house all at the same time.
I DID, however, think (and remember that I thought) about going back to school. There is a psychology class on my list of requirements that I was saving for when I transferred to a University. However, I *can* take it at the community college level. It's a class on child growth and development that I think would teach me an invaluable amount of information regarding the psychology and brain development of our new baby and how to implement the most important measures regarding attachment and bonding. I'm missing out on the first 9 months of this, so we will have some catching up to do from the get-go!
And then I realized, I have so much on my plate....how on EARTH would I handle going back to school right now? "Keep your feet on the ground. Keep your feet on the ground." "When you get bored, grab your To-Do list...don't ADD more hats to your head!"
So, now I'm sane again and dreaming of a day I go back to school. I'm happily dreaming, not feeling like I'm missing out on anything...just realize I miss school. Wait. Yes. Yes, I just said that I miss school. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been a semester off and I could use at least another year off....but I already miss it. Beeeecause I'm a little bit crazy. But most of you already knew that.
Our gratitude continues as we receive phenomenal support! Please keep praying for us, for our Birth Parents, and for our BABY!!!! Baby Lewis seems so so very close. We're excited, pressing on, and enjoying life while we wait.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Kickin Bums and Takin' Names...wait...what?
As I sit here to address the latest happenings in the Baby Lewis story, my husband is across from me filling out his "Self Study" that has to be complete before he goes to bed tonight (which is about an hour from now...)and he is saying the sweetest things about how much free time he has, how much he loves to fill out paperwork, and how meaningful each of these questions are to him. You know, the questions I posted yesterday. And every answer he gives me aloud sounds thoughtful, deep, and completely sincere.
I will let you decide how much of the above is true. ;)
I did so much today, I feel like some of it happened days ago. This morning I went to the doctor's office to have my blood panel taken care of. I remembered to fast this time! Woo! I had my urinalysis taken care of, too. I had forgotten about that. Man, I love peeing in a tiny cup. Don't you? (I would elaborate here, but I have a lot to cover and I want to go to bed soon).
After the doctor, I headed to (wait, I can't remember...give me a second...oh!) I went to the State Patrol office to have my fingerprints scanned! That was really fun. I filled out a card with all my personal information and turned my hands over to the nice lady in the little room full of computers. She wiped my fingers with wet wipes (Huggies, to be exact...I looked) and told me to try not to help her roll them on the screen (that was more difficult than I thought it was going to be). This was way cooler than having black ink rolled onto my fingertips. She rolled each finger over a little panel on the computer that looked like a clear mouse on a laptop (you know, the little box you roll you thumb around on...yeah, that). She did this with all 10 phalanges of my hands, wiped them again with wet wipes (now I know how all those little kiddos feel when I'm constantly cleaning them...thank goodness she left my face alone!) and sent me on my way. Easy peasy. The printed cards went into an envelope and I headed to the post office.
On my way to the post office, I realized I didn't have time to get there, ship my fingerprints and the two other packages I had with me, and get to work on time so I decided to take Little E with me (he's 14 months old and loves doing anything that requires "going vroom" in my car and leaving the house). Before heading to work, I treated myself to Olive Garden. By myself. And I'm completely okay with that.
The trip to the post office went something like this:
E: "Byeee"
Me: "You wanna go 'bye'? Do you want to go back to the Post Office? You had fun last time."
E: "Yeah. Bye"
Me: Okay, let's go to the Post Office! We have boxes this time! You can help me mail them, and drop them in the bin...it's gonna be fun!"
E: "bye!"
"Bye" we go
Me: "E, I need you to hold my hand so we can walk inside (while balancing two boxes and the fingerprint envelope on one hip so I can bend down and hold his hand with the other...this is what yoga is helping with...)"
E: "No! Walk"
Me: "You can walk, but you need to hold my hand. Please?"
E: "I walk. Ehhhh" (whining as I try to hold his precious little hand)
Me: Okay, you can walk, but we're standing in the middle of the parking lot. Look! A car! Hurry! Hurry! Let's go! Hold my hand!"
E: (not buying the excitement or thrill of danger...) "ehhhhh! Walk!"
Me: Okay, here, take this. Can you hold this box for me? Let's take them inside. You don't have to hold my hand, but I need you to help. (If he's holding a box maybe he can't run away too quickly?)
E: (excited) "Walk!"
Me: "Yes! Walk! Walk! Walk!" (while marching into the Post Office looking awesome)
We weighed our packages, used the automated postal system that looks like an ATM (fun!) and Little E walked each item to the bin, dropped it into the little thingy that looks like the end of a construction vehicle of sorts, then smiled ear to ear as he lifted the handle and said "Byeeee" and gasped in amazement as it disappeared, leaving the construction looking thingy open. And repeat. Of course, on the way out, Little E had to say "Bye! Thanks." to everyone in line behind us. As soon as we hit the parking lot, "Vroom!" so we did....in my 2004, granny gold, Toyota Camry that he thinks is AWESOME. (So do I, but he will change his mind well before I do).
Later, while Little E took his nap, I received a phone call from my doctor regarding my blood work and to let me know that she finished my paper work today. (How sweet!) I sorted through my adoption folder for anything I could work on without a computer and came up dry. So I read my book. Oh, the book...
One day, when I write my first book, if it's about adoption, I will not say a single thing about how an adopted child isn't your actual child. I won't dwell on the fact that you aren't really the parent...for over 300 pages, and I won't offer advice by saying, "Psychologists say...." and not give you the name of someone with their full title. Even if I make it up, at least I'll make it look like I'm citing my "sources". I'm not a huge fan of this book (can you tell?), but I understand why I need to read it. I first opened it with a completely open and excited mindset. However, I quickly learned that taking every word to heart would ruin my child's chance of having a Mom without an adoption complex, so now I'm reading to finish, and only taking bits and pieces from this silly little guide to adoptive parenting. Hopefully the next book is better...and hopefully, when we switch, Adam will remember I'm not the one assigning the homework. He's gonna love this book as much as I do! Maybe more.
I also called on Grandmas today, Baby's...not mine. We need a certified copy of each of our birth certificates along with our marriage license. After learning that doing this myself, via the in-ter-net, would not be a convenient option, I delegated the task to our mothers. Each mom is getting a birth certificate and one mom is also requesting a copy of our marriage license (I won't tell you which one...remember, I'm going for at least a little mystery here). All three documents will be delivered by hand, or via snail mail, by this Friday. Yay for grandmas! ;)
Let's see...what else have we accomplished? Adam is almost finished with his Self Study and we're about to go over, well, I'm not exactly sure what...whatever needs to be "gone over" before our Home Study visit tomorrow. I have the day off since I only work afternoons and, well, the visit is in the afternoon, so Jovi and I are going to clean and prep and work our way to impressing the socks off this lady! Okay, I'm gonna work, Jovi is going to sit in the chair propped up on the pillows and claim the blanket while watching my every move with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth. I'll be sure to post pictures.
In addition to the Home Study, I have a La Leche League meeting tomorrow! I will post more of that on the appropriate page, but I'm kind of excited to go. The leader (whose name I have completely forgotten. Sweet.) said I will be the only adoptive mother there, but if I committed to being there, she would do research for me and be sure I felt included and welcome. Yay! That's fun! Hopefully I make new friends and they don't all hate me because I'm expecting a baby and don't look like a walking beach ball. Hey, I don't get that pretty little glow either...I think it's fair.
Next on the list:
-Type our autobiography for Love Basket
-Compose our Photo Essay for Love Basket
-Attend an online class with Adoption Learning Partners
-Find a CPR/First Aid training to attend in order to receive/update certification
After all of that, we get to move on to our Profile Book for birth mothers!!!
After tomorrow's Home Study visit, I should know more of what is required from CSI. It sounds like the packet from them was just to get us to this point...it didn't necessarily lay out everything like our Love Basket Packets. More to come on that as we know things.
***Interruption*** I just read my husband's answers to his Self Study...and he thinks I'm cute (how sweet)! And he says that this adoption process is one of the highlights of our relationship. (I guess he didn't appreciate my bad aim and shoe-throwing as much as I thought...)
I'm losing focus. Brain and body are falling asleep. If I missed anything, I'll cover it tomorrow.
I'll be back.
"Goodnight John Boy!"
"Good Night Mary Ellen."
Good night to our friends and family. ;)
I will let you decide how much of the above is true. ;)
I did so much today, I feel like some of it happened days ago. This morning I went to the doctor's office to have my blood panel taken care of. I remembered to fast this time! Woo! I had my urinalysis taken care of, too. I had forgotten about that. Man, I love peeing in a tiny cup. Don't you? (I would elaborate here, but I have a lot to cover and I want to go to bed soon).
After the doctor, I headed to (wait, I can't remember...give me a second...oh!) I went to the State Patrol office to have my fingerprints scanned! That was really fun. I filled out a card with all my personal information and turned my hands over to the nice lady in the little room full of computers. She wiped my fingers with wet wipes (Huggies, to be exact...I looked) and told me to try not to help her roll them on the screen (that was more difficult than I thought it was going to be). This was way cooler than having black ink rolled onto my fingertips. She rolled each finger over a little panel on the computer that looked like a clear mouse on a laptop (you know, the little box you roll you thumb around on...yeah, that). She did this with all 10 phalanges of my hands, wiped them again with wet wipes (now I know how all those little kiddos feel when I'm constantly cleaning them...thank goodness she left my face alone!) and sent me on my way. Easy peasy. The printed cards went into an envelope and I headed to the post office.
On my way to the post office, I realized I didn't have time to get there, ship my fingerprints and the two other packages I had with me, and get to work on time so I decided to take Little E with me (he's 14 months old and loves doing anything that requires "going vroom" in my car and leaving the house). Before heading to work, I treated myself to Olive Garden. By myself. And I'm completely okay with that.
The trip to the post office went something like this:
E: "Byeee"
Me: "You wanna go 'bye'? Do you want to go back to the Post Office? You had fun last time."
E: "Yeah. Bye"
Me: Okay, let's go to the Post Office! We have boxes this time! You can help me mail them, and drop them in the bin...it's gonna be fun!"
E: "bye!"
"Bye" we go
Me: "E, I need you to hold my hand so we can walk inside (while balancing two boxes and the fingerprint envelope on one hip so I can bend down and hold his hand with the other...this is what yoga is helping with...)"
E: "No! Walk"
Me: "You can walk, but you need to hold my hand. Please?"
E: "I walk. Ehhhh" (whining as I try to hold his precious little hand)
Me: Okay, you can walk, but we're standing in the middle of the parking lot. Look! A car! Hurry! Hurry! Let's go! Hold my hand!"
E: (not buying the excitement or thrill of danger...) "ehhhhh! Walk!"
Me: Okay, here, take this. Can you hold this box for me? Let's take them inside. You don't have to hold my hand, but I need you to help. (If he's holding a box maybe he can't run away too quickly?)
E: (excited) "Walk!"
Me: "Yes! Walk! Walk! Walk!" (while marching into the Post Office looking awesome)
We weighed our packages, used the automated postal system that looks like an ATM (fun!) and Little E walked each item to the bin, dropped it into the little thingy that looks like the end of a construction vehicle of sorts, then smiled ear to ear as he lifted the handle and said "Byeeee" and gasped in amazement as it disappeared, leaving the construction looking thingy open. And repeat. Of course, on the way out, Little E had to say "Bye! Thanks." to everyone in line behind us. As soon as we hit the parking lot, "Vroom!" so we did....in my 2004, granny gold, Toyota Camry that he thinks is AWESOME. (So do I, but he will change his mind well before I do).
Later, while Little E took his nap, I received a phone call from my doctor regarding my blood work and to let me know that she finished my paper work today. (How sweet!) I sorted through my adoption folder for anything I could work on without a computer and came up dry. So I read my book. Oh, the book...
One day, when I write my first book, if it's about adoption, I will not say a single thing about how an adopted child isn't your actual child. I won't dwell on the fact that you aren't really the parent...for over 300 pages, and I won't offer advice by saying, "Psychologists say...." and not give you the name of someone with their full title. Even if I make it up, at least I'll make it look like I'm citing my "sources". I'm not a huge fan of this book (can you tell?), but I understand why I need to read it. I first opened it with a completely open and excited mindset. However, I quickly learned that taking every word to heart would ruin my child's chance of having a Mom without an adoption complex, so now I'm reading to finish, and only taking bits and pieces from this silly little guide to adoptive parenting. Hopefully the next book is better...and hopefully, when we switch, Adam will remember I'm not the one assigning the homework. He's gonna love this book as much as I do! Maybe more.
I also called on Grandmas today, Baby's...not mine. We need a certified copy of each of our birth certificates along with our marriage license. After learning that doing this myself, via the in-ter-net, would not be a convenient option, I delegated the task to our mothers. Each mom is getting a birth certificate and one mom is also requesting a copy of our marriage license (I won't tell you which one...remember, I'm going for at least a little mystery here). All three documents will be delivered by hand, or via snail mail, by this Friday. Yay for grandmas! ;)
Let's see...what else have we accomplished? Adam is almost finished with his Self Study and we're about to go over, well, I'm not exactly sure what...whatever needs to be "gone over" before our Home Study visit tomorrow. I have the day off since I only work afternoons and, well, the visit is in the afternoon, so Jovi and I are going to clean and prep and work our way to impressing the socks off this lady! Okay, I'm gonna work, Jovi is going to sit in the chair propped up on the pillows and claim the blanket while watching my every move with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth. I'll be sure to post pictures.
In addition to the Home Study, I have a La Leche League meeting tomorrow! I will post more of that on the appropriate page, but I'm kind of excited to go. The leader (whose name I have completely forgotten. Sweet.) said I will be the only adoptive mother there, but if I committed to being there, she would do research for me and be sure I felt included and welcome. Yay! That's fun! Hopefully I make new friends and they don't all hate me because I'm expecting a baby and don't look like a walking beach ball. Hey, I don't get that pretty little glow either...I think it's fair.
Next on the list:
-Type our autobiography for Love Basket
-Compose our Photo Essay for Love Basket
-Attend an online class with Adoption Learning Partners
-Find a CPR/First Aid training to attend in order to receive/update certification
After all of that, we get to move on to our Profile Book for birth mothers!!!
After tomorrow's Home Study visit, I should know more of what is required from CSI. It sounds like the packet from them was just to get us to this point...it didn't necessarily lay out everything like our Love Basket Packets. More to come on that as we know things.
***Interruption*** I just read my husband's answers to his Self Study...and he thinks I'm cute (how sweet)! And he says that this adoption process is one of the highlights of our relationship. (I guess he didn't appreciate my bad aim and shoe-throwing as much as I thought...)
I'm losing focus. Brain and body are falling asleep. If I missed anything, I'll cover it tomorrow.
I'll be back.
"Goodnight John Boy!"
"Good Night Mary Ellen."
Good night to our friends and family. ;)
Friday, September 7, 2012
If it Looks Like Monday, and it Smells Like Monday...?
Forget to fast before doctor's appointment and have to reschedule blood work: check
Continue with exam to at least cover everything else in the paperwork: check
Have nurse "verify" a ton of medical information that is NOT yours because she has the wrong chart: check
Strip down completely naked in preparation for exam, and have nurse barge in on you, leaving the door wide open as people walk down the hallway: check
Akward (LONG) moment with nurse saying "sorry, I just need, um, I need these, um, over here, I'm, um,..." and other annoying half words that don't help the situation WHILE THE DOOR IS STILL WIDE OPEN AND YOU'RE STILL COMPLETELY NAKED: check
Meet with doctor and answer a million questions for the millionth time: check
Hear doctor say, "Adoption is important, I will personally fill all of this out for you and be sure everything is taken care of": check (and...sigh with relief)
Forget to ask doctor about adoptive breastfeeding: check
Remind nurse that your correct paperwork said you needed to talk to the doctor about something that was forgotten: check
Have said nurse ask you to loudly repeat yourself in the check-out area, while she calls across the hall to the doctor that her patient needs to speak with her about "adoptive breastfeeding?": check
Doctor enters, saying "Milk bank?! You wanted to talk about Milk bank! Right?" While you sit there dumbfounded and explain to both professionals what adoptive breastfeeding is: check
Have doctor refer you to the infertility clinic upstairs to speak with a counselor and a lactation consultant to set up consultations because she said "I don't know how to do that": check
Head upstairs, totally unprepared for this visit (after years of avoiding the infertility clinic) and break down in tears in the hallway: check
Walk out of building and try again next week: walk out completed, second attempt pending
******************
After the morning at the doctor's office, I left a message with our local agent and told her I would drop our paperwork in the mail today or bring it to her Monday morning, but today just wasn't going to work out for me to meet up with her in person. She hasn't called back and I'm just now realizing I never went to the post office....Looks like I know what to add to Monday's checklist!
Tonight we're shopping for a stroller and a car seat. This is more research shopping than actual shopping, but it should be a lot more fun than the doctor visit this morning.
Thank you, God, for making Fridays. And thank you even more....for making Saturdays. It's my favorite day this week.
Have you hugged your babies today? Now is the perfect time.
Continue with exam to at least cover everything else in the paperwork: check
Have nurse "verify" a ton of medical information that is NOT yours because she has the wrong chart: check
Strip down completely naked in preparation for exam, and have nurse barge in on you, leaving the door wide open as people walk down the hallway: check
Akward (LONG) moment with nurse saying "sorry, I just need, um, I need these, um, over here, I'm, um,..." and other annoying half words that don't help the situation WHILE THE DOOR IS STILL WIDE OPEN AND YOU'RE STILL COMPLETELY NAKED: check
Meet with doctor and answer a million questions for the millionth time: check
Hear doctor say, "Adoption is important, I will personally fill all of this out for you and be sure everything is taken care of": check (and...sigh with relief)
Forget to ask doctor about adoptive breastfeeding: check
Remind nurse that your correct paperwork said you needed to talk to the doctor about something that was forgotten: check
Have said nurse ask you to loudly repeat yourself in the check-out area, while she calls across the hall to the doctor that her patient needs to speak with her about "adoptive breastfeeding?": check
Doctor enters, saying "Milk bank?! You wanted to talk about Milk bank! Right?" While you sit there dumbfounded and explain to both professionals what adoptive breastfeeding is: check
Have doctor refer you to the infertility clinic upstairs to speak with a counselor and a lactation consultant to set up consultations because she said "I don't know how to do that": check
Head upstairs, totally unprepared for this visit (after years of avoiding the infertility clinic) and break down in tears in the hallway: check
Walk out of building and try again next week: walk out completed, second attempt pending
******************
After the morning at the doctor's office, I left a message with our local agent and told her I would drop our paperwork in the mail today or bring it to her Monday morning, but today just wasn't going to work out for me to meet up with her in person. She hasn't called back and I'm just now realizing I never went to the post office....Looks like I know what to add to Monday's checklist!
Tonight we're shopping for a stroller and a car seat. This is more research shopping than actual shopping, but it should be a lot more fun than the doctor visit this morning.
Thank you, God, for making Fridays. And thank you even more....for making Saturdays. It's my favorite day this week.
Have you hugged your babies today? Now is the perfect time.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
0 to 60 in 5.2
You know what I forgot about roller coasters? They're fast. The ride is crazy, makes you scream, turns you stomach in knots, you fear you'll lose your shoes....and then it's over. Just like that.
Things are happening so quickly, I haven't had a chance to stop and write it all out. Let me see if I can remember the last five days:
GetStuffDoneDay: We spent all of Saturday on adoption paper work, cleaning, laundry, catching up on all things in life that have been neglected over the last several weeks. We also mapped out a handful of apartments to view on Sunday.
Our New Home: Sunday, we went straight from church to our first apartment (at 10:15) and saw our last place at 4:00pm. (Note to self: don't wear jeans OR heels when going home hunting in 90* weather. Blisters don't look good on you.) We were determined to find a place before the weekend was over so that we can get things moving. Due to our house in Iowa and our adoption fees, we decided to rent small. We found a nice one bedroom apartment with private access (no shared hallways), a pool (woo!), and an attached garage (jackpot!) that opens into the foyer. It's small, but it's gorgeous and I can't wait to move in and make it home! Our plan is to upgrade to a larger apartment as soon as our house sells, or when Baby arrives...whichever comes first. We will go with a two or three bedroom by then so that we have plenty of space for Baby and all visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. :) Getting everything coordinated will be a lot of work over the next two weeks, but I'm excited to finally be settled here in Omaha!
Packet II: We finished a lot of Packet II paperwork and mailed out everything I've already mentioned in past blogs. I've made appointments for physicals and blood panels. Mine is Friday, Adam's is Tuesday. We need to decide on the amount of contact we want to have with a birth mother and fill out that form. We also need to send in a "photo essay". The essay is the day in pictures project I mentioned in our last post. This is so the agency can get to know us and is for the office staff only. It has nothing to do with the birth mothers who see our profile pictures. We also need to finish reading our books, each write an auto biography for the agency (also to help them "get to know us"), find a local Adoption Support Group meeting to attend, take a CPR/First Aid class (each one of us), and request a letter from our insurance company that shows proof of dependent coverage along with a start date for Baby's insurance coverage. This involves calling the agency and requesting a specifically worded letter...not just a photo copy of our policy from the handbook. Oh fun. I can't wait. Oh! And our agent would like all of this paperwork returned by Friday. Um.....sure. Let me just hit "mute" on the rest of life and we're good to go! (I would hit "pause", but that just means I have to catch up on it later).
Home Study Packet: I spent three hours on this crazy packet and it's still not done! I'm pretty sure the last page I filled out may sound a little more, um, harsh...than I intended but I'm kind of getting tired of all this silly homework. Included in the packet is a 5 page "Grief and Loss" questionnaire that stands as stiff competition to an intense infertility therapy session. Only....we have to write out our answers in a tiny space and describe in detail every step we have taken to attempt conception on our own. Awesome. Maybe I can attach a schedule of every day we've "attempted to conceive'' and give start times, positions, and end times. Okay, that's crude. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. All of this work is totally worth what we will get in the end! But, (yes...always a but) I wish this much work was required for someone to have an abortion. I bet we'd see a drastic change in numbers. No screening necessary to kill a baby...but 15 hours a week of paperwork in order to adopt one that was lucky enough to be saved. (and let the ugly comments come in...at this point, I'm okay with that).
For the rest of our Home Study Packet, we need to have our finger prints scanned, and send them into the state patrol office. We filled out a lot of the same paperwork that was in Packet II from Love Basket, and we need to send in our monthly budget, a list of all debts and assets(same info from Packet II, different form), and also a "self evaluation" that consists of about six pages of questions ranging from, "What are you life's biggest accomplishments?" (I've made it this far with adoption paperwork! How's that?!) to "Describe how your marriage has changed over the years" (um..."She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not...She loves me! Let's adopt a baby!" Does that work?) Once all of this paperwork is done, we mail it all back and then start working on our profile book for Birth Mothers. I will talk more about that when we get there!
Here's a kicker on the Home Study: I called yesterday to verify a few things with our local agent and found out that we do not have to wait for blood panels, fingerprints, background checks and the like, to be returned to the agency. We can do our Home Study visits now and have our approval "pending" while we wait on the state and the lab techs to return everything. Once we are approved of our Home Study, all information gets forwarded to Love Basket for approval of Packet II. Here's what that means: I thought we would start our Home Study visits in about five weeks, after the appropriate reports arrived on our agent's desk. Nope. She wants to start next week! Holy Moses! Packet I was almost two weeks faster than I expected, and now the Home Study is being moved up an entire month! I may be posting Baby's photos by Christmas if we keep going like this!
Okay, okay, I know once all the papers are done we may have to wait awhile before God sends us our baby and our birth parents...but my gut (Mommy Brain?) is telling me to be ready by Christmas, maybe sooner. Um...okay!!! I can do that! We'll see how right I am....
(Big breathe...) I think I've covered everything. If I missed something or you have questions, leave a comment! I'll respond to anything, unless you're mean about my abortion comment. I ignore mean people. :)
We love all of the support we continue to receive. Our family and friends are wonderful! We can't wait to introduce our Baby to everyone who is so excited to meet him or her! (Wanna start a pool on baby's gender and or birth month? It's total luck....how about a quarter a bet? Just in time for fantasy football season....boys, get on that! You make it, I'll play it). Winner can donate to Baby's college fund ;).
And...I'm out. More to come. Sorry I took so long! The Home Study Packet will be dropped off at the local office by Friday, so I'm sure to have an update by then!
Thanks for reading! Happy Hump Day. :)
Things are happening so quickly, I haven't had a chance to stop and write it all out. Let me see if I can remember the last five days:
GetStuffDoneDay: We spent all of Saturday on adoption paper work, cleaning, laundry, catching up on all things in life that have been neglected over the last several weeks. We also mapped out a handful of apartments to view on Sunday.
Our New Home: Sunday, we went straight from church to our first apartment (at 10:15) and saw our last place at 4:00pm. (Note to self: don't wear jeans OR heels when going home hunting in 90* weather. Blisters don't look good on you.) We were determined to find a place before the weekend was over so that we can get things moving. Due to our house in Iowa and our adoption fees, we decided to rent small. We found a nice one bedroom apartment with private access (no shared hallways), a pool (woo!), and an attached garage (jackpot!) that opens into the foyer. It's small, but it's gorgeous and I can't wait to move in and make it home! Our plan is to upgrade to a larger apartment as soon as our house sells, or when Baby arrives...whichever comes first. We will go with a two or three bedroom by then so that we have plenty of space for Baby and all visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. :) Getting everything coordinated will be a lot of work over the next two weeks, but I'm excited to finally be settled here in Omaha!
Packet II: We finished a lot of Packet II paperwork and mailed out everything I've already mentioned in past blogs. I've made appointments for physicals and blood panels. Mine is Friday, Adam's is Tuesday. We need to decide on the amount of contact we want to have with a birth mother and fill out that form. We also need to send in a "photo essay". The essay is the day in pictures project I mentioned in our last post. This is so the agency can get to know us and is for the office staff only. It has nothing to do with the birth mothers who see our profile pictures. We also need to finish reading our books, each write an auto biography for the agency (also to help them "get to know us"), find a local Adoption Support Group meeting to attend, take a CPR/First Aid class (each one of us), and request a letter from our insurance company that shows proof of dependent coverage along with a start date for Baby's insurance coverage. This involves calling the agency and requesting a specifically worded letter...not just a photo copy of our policy from the handbook. Oh fun. I can't wait. Oh! And our agent would like all of this paperwork returned by Friday. Um.....sure. Let me just hit "mute" on the rest of life and we're good to go! (I would hit "pause", but that just means I have to catch up on it later).
Home Study Packet: I spent three hours on this crazy packet and it's still not done! I'm pretty sure the last page I filled out may sound a little more, um, harsh...than I intended but I'm kind of getting tired of all this silly homework. Included in the packet is a 5 page "Grief and Loss" questionnaire that stands as stiff competition to an intense infertility therapy session. Only....we have to write out our answers in a tiny space and describe in detail every step we have taken to attempt conception on our own. Awesome. Maybe I can attach a schedule of every day we've "attempted to conceive'' and give start times, positions, and end times. Okay, that's crude. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. All of this work is totally worth what we will get in the end! But, (yes...always a but) I wish this much work was required for someone to have an abortion. I bet we'd see a drastic change in numbers. No screening necessary to kill a baby...but 15 hours a week of paperwork in order to adopt one that was lucky enough to be saved. (and let the ugly comments come in...at this point, I'm okay with that).
For the rest of our Home Study Packet, we need to have our finger prints scanned, and send them into the state patrol office. We filled out a lot of the same paperwork that was in Packet II from Love Basket, and we need to send in our monthly budget, a list of all debts and assets(same info from Packet II, different form), and also a "self evaluation" that consists of about six pages of questions ranging from, "What are you life's biggest accomplishments?" (I've made it this far with adoption paperwork! How's that?!) to "Describe how your marriage has changed over the years" (um..."She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not...She loves me! Let's adopt a baby!" Does that work?) Once all of this paperwork is done, we mail it all back and then start working on our profile book for Birth Mothers. I will talk more about that when we get there!
Here's a kicker on the Home Study: I called yesterday to verify a few things with our local agent and found out that we do not have to wait for blood panels, fingerprints, background checks and the like, to be returned to the agency. We can do our Home Study visits now and have our approval "pending" while we wait on the state and the lab techs to return everything. Once we are approved of our Home Study, all information gets forwarded to Love Basket for approval of Packet II. Here's what that means: I thought we would start our Home Study visits in about five weeks, after the appropriate reports arrived on our agent's desk. Nope. She wants to start next week! Holy Moses! Packet I was almost two weeks faster than I expected, and now the Home Study is being moved up an entire month! I may be posting Baby's photos by Christmas if we keep going like this!
Okay, okay, I know once all the papers are done we may have to wait awhile before God sends us our baby and our birth parents...but my gut (Mommy Brain?) is telling me to be ready by Christmas, maybe sooner. Um...okay!!! I can do that! We'll see how right I am....
(Big breathe...) I think I've covered everything. If I missed something or you have questions, leave a comment! I'll respond to anything, unless you're mean about my abortion comment. I ignore mean people. :)
We love all of the support we continue to receive. Our family and friends are wonderful! We can't wait to introduce our Baby to everyone who is so excited to meet him or her! (Wanna start a pool on baby's gender and or birth month? It's total luck....how about a quarter a bet? Just in time for fantasy football season....boys, get on that! You make it, I'll play it). Winner can donate to Baby's college fund ;).
And...I'm out. More to come. Sorry I took so long! The Home Study Packet will be dropped off at the local office by Friday, so I'm sure to have an update by then!
Thanks for reading! Happy Hump Day. :)
Monday, August 27, 2012
525,600....dollars
Okay, not quite that much.
I'm tracking our actual expenses on a different page, but here are the projected fees provided in Packet II:
I've omitted fees that do not apply to us and have also changed a few numbers based on prices from the local agency. I will explain each item as we approach them. Some don't really need explanation.
One thing I learned today, after confirming these fees with our agent, is that the $4,000 activation fee is applied to the $15,500 placement fee. So, we can take $4,000 off of our $30,000 estimation right off the bat. I also learned that some of the fees on the paper I have do not apply to us because Love Basket is not doing our Home Study. We calculated fees we know of from CSI, but I'm pretty sure there's one missing up there...again, more to come as we get that far.
Lastly, we were adding up the higher end of each estimated cost (interim child care, legal fees) and I learned the lower numbers are closer to average.
We haven't talked much more about how to pay for things, but we're committed to this adoption, with this agency, at this time. We're going all the way, together, and we're going to figure it out.
I didn't fill out any new papers today. Despite my all inspiring faith from this morning, I spent my free time on the phone with local adoption agencies to do a cost-comparison. In the end, we're adding about $1400 to our expenses by not living in a state that houses a Love Basket office. But, this doesn't seem to be out of the ordinary for them. I could be wrong.
Two posts in one day. Watch for more tomorrow!
I'm tracking our actual expenses on a different page, but here are the projected fees provided in Packet II:
#
|
Item
|
Fee
|
Due Date
|
1
|
Application Packet I
|
$95.00
|
With
application
|
2
|
Application Packet II
|
$595.00
|
With
application
|
3
|
Home Study
|
$1600.00
|
With HS
application
|
4
|
Activation Fee
|
$4,000.00
|
When our
profile books are submitted to Love Basket
|
5
|
Non-Love Basket Home Study Review
Fee
|
$425.00
|
Upon agency
request
|
6
|
Agency Placement Fee
|
$15,500
|
Two business
days before placement of child (basically, as soon as Baby is born)
|
7
|
Interim Child Care (if necessary)
|
$35-$45 per
day
|
Same as #6
|
8
|
Interstate Compact on the
Placement of Children (for children born in one state, but residing in
another
|
$600
|
Same as #6
|
9
|
Legal Expenses
|
$2500-$4500
(estimated)
|
Same as #6
|
10
|
Home Study Update
|
$295
|
Due at one
year anniversary of packet II approval, if still waiting
|
One thing I learned today, after confirming these fees with our agent, is that the $4,000 activation fee is applied to the $15,500 placement fee. So, we can take $4,000 off of our $30,000 estimation right off the bat. I also learned that some of the fees on the paper I have do not apply to us because Love Basket is not doing our Home Study. We calculated fees we know of from CSI, but I'm pretty sure there's one missing up there...again, more to come as we get that far.
Lastly, we were adding up the higher end of each estimated cost (interim child care, legal fees) and I learned the lower numbers are closer to average.
We haven't talked much more about how to pay for things, but we're committed to this adoption, with this agency, at this time. We're going all the way, together, and we're going to figure it out.
I didn't fill out any new papers today. Despite my all inspiring faith from this morning, I spent my free time on the phone with local adoption agencies to do a cost-comparison. In the end, we're adding about $1400 to our expenses by not living in a state that houses a Love Basket office. But, this doesn't seem to be out of the ordinary for them. I could be wrong.
Two posts in one day. Watch for more tomorrow!
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