I can look into adoptive breastfeeding. I can keep shopping online for fun baby stuff to add to our registry that I'm working on. I can learn more about cloth diapers (holy OVERWHeLMiNG! This is about the only thing I don't know about taking care of babies and I can't imagine how new moms feel if they've never even touched a baby before!) I can learn more about adoptive parenting, and parenting in general (PLENTY of literature to read, courtesy of Love Basket)
Or...I can just enjoy the fact that my "To-Do" list is actually empty. I have one person to follow up with in a couple days and then all we do is wait for approval.
WOOO!!!!
So, I wanted to post since I slacked for so long and thought I would share this:
I was thinking about our training DVDs and all the new information to, you know...think about, and trying to learn all I can from what I was taught.
One of the parenting tips made in our training session was in regards to telling your child about their adoption. I can write a few small books on everything I've learned, but something new sticks out to me. One of the speakers made the point to her daughter in about these words, "Daddy and I aren't related, but we are married. And we are a family because of a promise we made to each other. And we made that same promise when we adopted you. You are part of our family now, because we love you. We will always be family."
If feeling like "the real mom" didn't hit home before, is sure does now. Every doubt in my mind is gone. I chose to marry my husband. And through hell and high water (and the good times, too), I've chosen to STAY married to my husband. If society can see our union as legally binding and the "best step" toward starting a family....than why can't we use the same promise to build our family? I don't want to be defensive, because I know a lot of people just don't understand adoption. I want to convey my realization (my epiphany...if you will...[that one's for you, honey]).
I promise, from this day forward, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in want, this child whom God is placing in my life. His child. I vow to love him or her with all that I am. To put his or her needs before my own, and to honor and respect him or her until death do us part. We are one. By the power of God and the power of the law, our baby will be ours, and we will be his or hers. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lewis Family is on a mission. Of life. Of hope. And of unconditional love.
I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, whisper these words in his or her tiny little ears and tiny little heart. My husband was more than right (yes, I said that) the other day..."all of our dreams are about to come true..." I don't ever want to wake up!
Thank you for your continued support. I know I end almost every post with these words, but they are just as sincere today as they were the day before. We have a tremendous group of God-given family and "chosen family" who have been standing behind us since the very beginning. Words can't express our gratitude for the letters, emails, gifts, and other love we have received. Your prayers mean the world to us! Please continue to pray for our Birth Parents to be united in their decision to make an adoption plan for their baby. And for God to prepare our hearts, all of us, to be open and to communicate lovingly and sincerely. This is number one on our list right now. If we can have this, everything else will fall into place. Thank you, thank you, again and again.
Warning: Intense Excitement up Ahead Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!! Here's what's left on my To-Do list: -Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork -Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!) -Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit -Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report -Wait for approval from LB -Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval) -Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family" Um. That's all, folks. PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished! Keep praying, please! Everything is going smoothly. We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D
If I can't think straight because there is so much to sort through...and I forget what I'm doing if I stop for more than .5 seconds because there are 1000 things I could have possibly been working on just then...does it count as sympathy Mommy Brain? Because that's my Saturday. In the middle of texting our realtor, I put down my phone to go to the bathroom, came back, and completely forgot what I was doing. Went through my mental to-do list to pick something new, and remembered I needed to contact the realtor. And yes, I had a good night's sleep.
Okay, let the sorting begin.
Today and Tomorrow: -read up on all three agency options for our home study -warn hubby to clear his schedule as much as possible for all medical appointments I may need to make for him. -order books for adoption training (Adam's mom has already beat me to half of this step!)
Monday: -call the finalist(s), then set up our appointment -start retrieval process for copies of birth certificates and social security cards Tuesday: -follow up on Saturday-Monday items Wednesday: -Stand at the mailbox all morning and wait for Packet II to arrive, read through requirements and reassess Thursday: Start new to-do list Okay. That was easy. Next thought: my outlook on adoption has already drastically changed and it's been less than eight weeks since I first called the agency. Here's what I thought: "I could never give up my baby, I don't know how birth moms do it!" "Our baby may have major complications because most moms who give up their babies have major issues in their lives, including drug and alcohol abuse" "I don't think I really want the birth mom in our lives without the agency involved. What if I feel like I have to take care of her? What if I don't feel like I'm really 'Mom' if she is around very often?" "Our families might not want to 'deal with' a birth mother" "Open adoption=extra drama in my life" "I feel so blessed to be able to save a baby" Okay, that was a brave move. Before you throw stones at me, put yourself in our shoes and pick 2 of those thoughts you wouldn't think of yourself...especially in writing.
Here's what I think now: "Birth moms are so brave! They choose life for their children and the humble path of asking someone else to provide a happy, stable life for their baby" "Our baby could have major complications if we conceived on our own and that wouldn't change whether or not we kept them, why should this be any different." and "Way to stereotype in the worse way possible. A lot of birth mothers have 'regular' lives, but just can't provide (what they view as) an appropriate lifestyle for their baby" "The agency can be a wonderful help in communicating with our birth mother, so I want to utilize the resource, but giving another woman your BABY is a brave, emotional decision. If she wants the personal assurance that her baby is being well cared for, is happy, that she made the right move...I can respect that. And if she wants to know her Baby watch him or her grow up, we can figure out something that works for everyone. We may still go through the agency, but I'm not afraid of Baby's Birth Mother." "Open adoption can mean extra drama, conceiving my own child can mean extra drama, life is full of ups and downs. The gift of a child, from another mother, is worth any drama that may come with it. And it may not come with anymore than the emotions attached to the decisions we make. TV is NOT real." "Our Birth Mother is saving her own baby, by choosing life. She is saving us by giving us the start of our family. I can be a hero later, for boo-boos, bumps, and broken hearts....but in the end, our Birth Mother will be the original Super Mom in Baby's life, and always Super Mom #1"
I can't say I'm not anxious about the details of an open adoption, or that this new perspective is rock solid and can't be shaken. We have not decided on an open adoption, but have not decided against it either. Regardless, my way of thinking has drastically changed and I look forward to growing more during this process. I'm excited to see the reality of adoption, in my own life, as opposed to watching it on Teen Mom or An Adoption Story. No one will be feeding lines or asking us to replay our emotional moments, but "put more effort into this time". It's just going to play out....exactly how God intended, and He will teach us our part as we go along.
My heart is full of gratitude for our Birth Mother and I have no idea who she is yet! I know she's brave, honorable, and a role model for her baby regardless of her lifestyle. Choosing life, choosing the best way for her child to be raised, and trusting she is making the best decision she can... is exactly what a Mother's job is. Our Baby will always know that his or her Birth Mother is our family hero and one of the most special people in our lives.
