Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Best Day Ever!

I haven't posted here since I found out I was pregnant. Mostly, I've been up to my eyeballs in new motherhood (and moving-holy cow, don't move in the first year of having a baby. Trust me. Just don't do it). Some days I wondered if I would ever come back here and some days I just assumed I was finished because I finally had my baby.  But, here I am. My daughter is almost nine months old and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Sure, my marriage is swimming in new parenthood chaos, but who cares? Adam and I had a very long time together, longer than a lot of couples, before Brooklynn arrived. We had time to love, to learn, to fight, to work things out, to figure things out, to better ourselves, and to mend our wounds. We had time to create the foundation we really wanted for our family. God knew what we needed to survive parenthood-to THRIVE in parenthood-and he allowed the necessary time for that to take place. Some days I feel like we barely connect with each other after "daddy time*" (*that's a thing!), dinner time, and bedtime. Other days I feel like I couldn't be closer to anyone in the world than I am to my husband and my baby. It's life. This is what we have always wanted. What better reason in the world to be sure we make each other a priority? We've had work, school, and a whole lot of other crap in the middle of us before. Now, we have our sweet baby girl. She needs 100% of us all the time. Okay, she probably needs like 70% of us all the time, but we want to give her a minimum of 100% because she's all we've ever dreamed of and more. Bottomline-she needs us both, a lot. We need each other. But, we need her just as much. Figuring out the first year as a family is incredible. It's incredibly life giving, perspective offering, and life changing. It means figuring out how to budget your time, energy, and emotions for everyone in the family (it's about budgeting dollars, too, but let's not go there). Now that there are three of us, the two adults in the situation have to provide for each other, support each other, be an example for the dependent of us, and decide what really is most important in each day because somehow, the days magically end quicker than ever before. Our time with our tiny little girl will be gone before we know it. She's only this little for so long and we strive for so much all at once. This whole post is a mess of thoughts in my head but, hello motherhood (I may or may not have just spelled "hello" with a "w" and had to fix it). 

A friend gifted us an outfit for Brooklynn awhile back. It was a one piece outfit with the phrase, "best day ever!" on the front. She said, "you're always so excited about everything and this was just so 'you', I had to get it for you!" It was one of the most thoughtful gifts we had received for our "angel straight from heaven." (Unfortunately, our little angel is growing ridiculously fast and by the time we received this gift it was long gone in the way of snapping onesies). I wanted to keep it because it was perfect but my friend insisted on returning it for something else. I let her. But anyway, the original gift...the phrase..it's true. Every day with Brooklynn is the best day ever. It's the best because she is the epitome of God's faithfulness and love. If my house is a mess, I haven't showered in days, and dinner is so far from my mind the only person on speed dial is Jimmy Johns, it's still the best day ever. I married the love of my life, and it was a perfect day. But, we married each other because we wanted to build a family together and grow old together and leave some kind of legacy. That day was leading up to the day we created our daughter and learned that we would be parents. Our marriage will always come first in the grand scheme of things. Always. But we have had time to build a solid foundation, an unshakeable foundation, that allows us to pour our hearts and our souls into our little miracle. We love her every day with all that we have and we strive to leave enough at the end of the night for the other to know it's all worth it and it's all the same and it's all so amazingly different all at once.

I guess I just needed to "verbalize" that regardless of the new trials we face, my husband is still my favorite person in the world-second to none. We've been married 10 years and they have been the BEST 10 years of my life. Even the hard ones.

Brooklynn will be 9 months old this Saturday. NINE! That's technically old enough to start planning her first birthday party. I don't even know what to do with myself. She needs to stop. Like yesterday. Gosh, she's so amazing. Every single day I'm beyond grateful for her and I constantly pinch myself, afraid that it will finally wake me up.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for our sweet sweet baby. Thank you for loving us and for teaching us how to love. Some days love is effortless. Some days it's really hard. But everyday it's a testament to perspective. If we are grateful for what we have, loving who we have it with just falls into place.

Today, is the best day ever. It's the best day because I have my husband and my baby and we have God as the foundation of our family, holding us all together. We are embracing the chaos of parenthood and have yet to feel "we're doing it right" but continue to press on because it's all we've ever wanted.

My everyday reminder that Jesus loves me.

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