Warning: Intense Excitement up Ahead
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!!
Here's what's left on my To-Do list:
-Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork
-Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!)
-Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit
-Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report
-Wait for approval from LB
-Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval)
-Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family"
Um. That's all, folks.
PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished!
Keep praying, please! Everything is going smoothly. We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D
Showing posts with label Child Saving Institute. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child Saving Institute. Show all posts
Monday, October 15, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Speed Bump (a.k.a. working with two agencies at one time)
I'm realizing that the more time I spend on getting things done, the less time I have to write about all of it. ;)
Over the weekend, we took our online class regarding open adoption. The specific class was our choice and one of many classes provided by Adoption Learning Partners. We feel like our questions about open adoption were answered and some of our worries of open adoption were settled.
Adam and I have not had a chance to sit down and decide what we want our own adoption to look like, so that form is still in my folder. We will probably fill it out the day before we absolutely have to turn it in. Okay, maybe not...but I doubt we really talk about it until we are settled in our new apartment. It's a big decision and even though we are allowed to amend the form at any time, writing it down feels so...final.
Today was my personal visit with our Home Study agency. We finished going over my family tree and a whole lot of information that seemed far to personal to matter in the adoption process. I'm not excited about how these meetings are going and I've been informed that our agent may even be out of line in her questioning and conversations. This is frustrating, but we are in a vulnerable place and now is not the time to ruffle feathers. I don't want to display everything here, but if you're reading this and going through the adoption process, I am more than willing to discuss our experience in further detail, via email. Adam and I have one more Home Study visit to complete and then our social worker will type up a review and send it to Love Basket.
Most of our references for Love Basket have been sent in (Thank you!!!) and our reference forms from CSI have just arrived in the mail boxes of friends and family. CSI is waiting on a handful of items including reference forms, medical forms, fingerprints, and background checks.
I feel like this little bit of Packet II is taking for-ev-er! But, I knew when we started the Home Study process that it would take about 8 weeks for the report to be sent to our agency. I'm not sure how far we are into that process, but I think we're at least halfway there?
I'm heading to Iowa tomorrow and spending a few days there while our belongings are packed up and loaded onto the moving truck. I'll visit with our friends and say an official "goodbye" now that visiting will be a little more complicated without having a house to stay in whenever we feel like it!
While I am in Iowa getting the house organized, Adam will be here in Nebraska moving our belongings from our temporary apartment to our new apartment. By the time our moving truck arrives here, we should be moved out of the corporate apartment!
I also need to check on my CPR certification while out of town. (My card is in the house, and I need to check my expiration date). Once I'm back in Nebraska I will finalize the CPR task (send in copy of cards or sign up for classes). Then, I will set up my desktop computer in the new apartment and start working on our Pictorial Essay. After that I need to finish our second book and then Packet II will be complete once I send everything in!
Without knowing exactly what is next with CSI, I feel a little like a sitting duck. Once Packet II from Love Basket it complete, I won't have anything tactical to do that I can track. So far, the checklists and due dates are the very things that have kept this process easy. I guess all my energy will go into settling into our new home and getting things organized.
As soon as I get everything in place at our new apartment, we should hear back on our approval of Packet II and then it will be time to work on our profile book for Birth Mothers to view. I'm so excited for that day to get here! I was planning our profile book before I even called the agency for the first time. Of course, I was out of order and have had to change my plan a thousand times because I keep coming up with ideas that didn't follow the agency's timing or format. So...I finally stopped working on the profile book altogether. I'm ready to pick it back up!!
That's where we are...and where we are headed. Please keep praying for unity between our Birth Parents in regards to adoption and relinquishing both their parental rights. We also pray for peace for both of them and for us while we all go through this process.
The (second) happiest day of my life isn't very far away...!
Over the weekend, we took our online class regarding open adoption. The specific class was our choice and one of many classes provided by Adoption Learning Partners. We feel like our questions about open adoption were answered and some of our worries of open adoption were settled.
Adam and I have not had a chance to sit down and decide what we want our own adoption to look like, so that form is still in my folder. We will probably fill it out the day before we absolutely have to turn it in. Okay, maybe not...but I doubt we really talk about it until we are settled in our new apartment. It's a big decision and even though we are allowed to amend the form at any time, writing it down feels so...final.
Today was my personal visit with our Home Study agency. We finished going over my family tree and a whole lot of information that seemed far to personal to matter in the adoption process. I'm not excited about how these meetings are going and I've been informed that our agent may even be out of line in her questioning and conversations. This is frustrating, but we are in a vulnerable place and now is not the time to ruffle feathers. I don't want to display everything here, but if you're reading this and going through the adoption process, I am more than willing to discuss our experience in further detail, via email. Adam and I have one more Home Study visit to complete and then our social worker will type up a review and send it to Love Basket.
Most of our references for Love Basket have been sent in (Thank you!!!) and our reference forms from CSI have just arrived in the mail boxes of friends and family. CSI is waiting on a handful of items including reference forms, medical forms, fingerprints, and background checks.
I feel like this little bit of Packet II is taking for-ev-er! But, I knew when we started the Home Study process that it would take about 8 weeks for the report to be sent to our agency. I'm not sure how far we are into that process, but I think we're at least halfway there?
I'm heading to Iowa tomorrow and spending a few days there while our belongings are packed up and loaded onto the moving truck. I'll visit with our friends and say an official "goodbye" now that visiting will be a little more complicated without having a house to stay in whenever we feel like it!
While I am in Iowa getting the house organized, Adam will be here in Nebraska moving our belongings from our temporary apartment to our new apartment. By the time our moving truck arrives here, we should be moved out of the corporate apartment!
I also need to check on my CPR certification while out of town. (My card is in the house, and I need to check my expiration date). Once I'm back in Nebraska I will finalize the CPR task (send in copy of cards or sign up for classes). Then, I will set up my desktop computer in the new apartment and start working on our Pictorial Essay. After that I need to finish our second book and then Packet II will be complete once I send everything in!
Without knowing exactly what is next with CSI, I feel a little like a sitting duck. Once Packet II from Love Basket it complete, I won't have anything tactical to do that I can track. So far, the checklists and due dates are the very things that have kept this process easy. I guess all my energy will go into settling into our new home and getting things organized.
As soon as I get everything in place at our new apartment, we should hear back on our approval of Packet II and then it will be time to work on our profile book for Birth Mothers to view. I'm so excited for that day to get here! I was planning our profile book before I even called the agency for the first time. Of course, I was out of order and have had to change my plan a thousand times because I keep coming up with ideas that didn't follow the agency's timing or format. So...I finally stopped working on the profile book altogether. I'm ready to pick it back up!!
That's where we are...and where we are headed. Please keep praying for unity between our Birth Parents in regards to adoption and relinquishing both their parental rights. We also pray for peace for both of them and for us while we all go through this process.
The (second) happiest day of my life isn't very far away...!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Home Study Visit 1: Check!
I planned on blogging yesterday, but the day was so busy that I went straight to bed after dinner! Of course, I didn't fall asleep until after 10:00, but that's beside the point.
For starters, I was wrong about my meeting with Le Leche League. It wasn't yesterday, it was today. Good thing, because I did not have time for a meeting yesterday! I cleaned the apartment, frantically searched for something appropriate to wear for the occasion (thanks to all who helped! I went with comfy and cozy...but no yoga pants, unfortunately...and was complimented on my outfit at the end of the meeting...that's an added plus).
The Home Study went well. It started off a little...uncomfortable? I'm such a hostess that I felt akward without my kitchen, my own dishes, and the accessibility to do what I like to do so much and cater to people who visit my home! I didn't even feel at home. I missed my big house in Iowa that has so much space and I suddenly felt disconnected. Adam sensed my discomfort and did an amazing job of leading conversation until I was at ease. It's not like me to be uncomfortable in social situations so I was worried about sending off a bad "vibe". I think I ended up okay, though. By the time she left I was talking a million words a minute while she frantically took notes on her baby pink paper that was designated for me. [Adam's paper is baby blue...interesting. And kinda cute:)]
I think Adam and I were both a little nervous about the meeting and where things might go. Sure enough, our entire lives were revealed (once again) and we were asked a million questions about our relationship, past relationships, our families, our histories, etc. We are confident enough in who we are, where we've been, and how it has shaped us, that I can boldly say we owned that interview. I'm not sure if Adam feels that way, but he seemed confident enough with everything. He was a little preoccupied (hang on, I'll get there in a minute). As far as sharing the experience with you....it was everything I've shared about paperwork, just in person, really. She asked us about our jobs and drew a diagram that represented each of us, our work hours, hobbies, ages, and the like. We talked about how work hours might change for both of us when a baby arrives (Wait. You mean our schedule is gonna change? I hadn't thought of that...) After the diagrams, she pulled out the pink paper. We created a family tree (which took for-e-ver for me) and talked about each member of my family. She asked about temperament, characteristics, relationships I had with each one and their relationships with each other. It was exhausting! Actually, my family is so big, that she wants to meet with me by myself in order to finish my family tree. We were supposed to have two meetings, three hours each. Now we're adding two hours. My individual meeting is scheduled for next week and I could complain about the extra time, but I decided today to stop complaining about any of this. I haven't meant to sound as annoyed as I sound, and I'm actually really excited to be going through all of this! I've let negative comments effect me too much. I've been a little annoyed, but overall I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to adopt (finally!) that I need to focus on the positives and enjoy every single second of it. It will be over before I know it!
So, on to Adam's distraction during out meeting....our realtor had emailed earlier yesterday with an offer on our Iowa house from a potential buyer. He excused himself a couple times during the meeting so that he could work his magic with numbers and close the deal on our house. HE DID IT!!!! Just after our agent left, Adam accepted a counter offer and we confirmed with our realtor that we were ready to sign papers. We're professionals at paperwork now, so I'm not even thinking twice about the faxing, emailing, and signing that is about to take place. I'm so excited the house is taken care of! We are moving next week, so the timing worked out perfectly. Of course, my first question to Adam was if we could go for the bigger apartment we liked so much since the house is selling and we haven't moved yet. But, he suggested we stick to the plan since we already had the ball rolling and the paperwork is finished. I agreed the idea made sense and it would be nice to just save money while we wait to be matched with a birth mother. We still expect things to continue to happen quickly, but if they don't...the longer we wait, the more time we have to come up with that $15,000 placement fee! I'm sure we will end up applying for a loan afterall, but the less we borrow, the better.
On that note of timing, it looks like our last Home Study meeting will be near the end of October. Part of me wants to move that up because we're so far ahead of our original timeline. But, the other part of me doesn't want to stress to finish early...and I want to trust God on timing. The end of October gives us plenty of time to settle into our apartment, wrap up things with the house, adjust to changes, and take a small breather after all the paperwork. Once that last meeting is finished, we wait for approval of Packet II from Love Basket which can take a couple more weeks. I'm okay with that report coming around mid-November(ish). I can't believe I'm already looking at the calendar for November. This year is flying by since we moved! Sheesh. I'm going blink one more time and it will be Christmas! Ooooh. That's exciting! :)
I heard back from both grandmas and our birth certificates and marriage license have been received and hand delivered to Love basket! I'm so happy I was able to delegate that task! It seems small, but it was such a big help. Thanks, Mom and Mom L! :)
I attended my LLL meeting this morning and loved it! I had to duck out a little early to make my next appointment, but the atmosphere was wonderful. Each mom was supportive of my "mom status" and a couple of them were excited to hear what updates I will have next month. I was given several resources, from books to people, and can't wait to get started on that stuff! When I updated my blog the other night, I realized that only the home pages functions the way it does-where I can post entries, label them, and what have you. So, I may be linking to a separate blog regarding adoptive breastfeeding and just deleting that page on this blog. We will see. I don't want to get ahead of myself and plan more than I can follow through with! So, if that page is annoying to follow...hang in there.
Today I plan to get our online class figured out, organize my copies of the paperwork we've recently sent in, and prep myself for the weekend. I'm hoping to finish paperwork and be registered for our classes by Sunday. IF that happens, next week will be our last week of paperwork, assignments, and turning in packets. Of course, this goal may be a little ambitious, so I'm okay if things take a little longer. But, sitting in that meeting today with moms holding new babies added fire to my flame. I want to keep going. I want to finish this so I can have my baby! Last night's meeting led to a restless night of longing for my baby whom I haven't even met...who may not even be on earth yet. It wasn't a sad longing, but a desire from the bottom of my heart, to hold my baby. I want to meet him or her. I always saw myself with a rollie pollie chub of a baby because that's how I was. But now, I have no idea what my baby will look like. So the image in my head changes over and over....which in turn refuels the longing. Writing about it now brings it all back. I can't wait! The day is so close, yet so far away.
I will update more tomorrow once I get myself re-organized. We have the final pages of adoption stuff coming up, a trip to Davenport to organize the move, and then the move itself. Thank goodness I had the sense to plan a weekend away with my best friend! Not only that...I had forgotten about a week of vacation coming up at work. Soooo, our weekend away, meeting halfway between here and Denver, turned into me driving all the way there and spending a week just enjoying Colorado. Paperwork will definitely be finished by then, and I should have us pretty settled into the apartment, so the timing for a vacation couldn't have worked out much better than this! I will miss Adam after the first day or so, but I'm so excited to spend a whole week on vacation that I think I can fill my time enough to keep from getting too home sick. And I just want to say, that I LOVE the fact that I get home sick when I'm away without Adam. It took awhile to get to this point and its a wonderful feeling. :)
Little E just woke up. Keep your eyes open! I should be back tomorrow with more information!
Have a great afternoon!
For starters, I was wrong about my meeting with Le Leche League. It wasn't yesterday, it was today. Good thing, because I did not have time for a meeting yesterday! I cleaned the apartment, frantically searched for something appropriate to wear for the occasion (thanks to all who helped! I went with comfy and cozy...but no yoga pants, unfortunately...and was complimented on my outfit at the end of the meeting...that's an added plus).
The Home Study went well. It started off a little...uncomfortable? I'm such a hostess that I felt akward without my kitchen, my own dishes, and the accessibility to do what I like to do so much and cater to people who visit my home! I didn't even feel at home. I missed my big house in Iowa that has so much space and I suddenly felt disconnected. Adam sensed my discomfort and did an amazing job of leading conversation until I was at ease. It's not like me to be uncomfortable in social situations so I was worried about sending off a bad "vibe". I think I ended up okay, though. By the time she left I was talking a million words a minute while she frantically took notes on her baby pink paper that was designated for me. [Adam's paper is baby blue...interesting. And kinda cute:)]
I think Adam and I were both a little nervous about the meeting and where things might go. Sure enough, our entire lives were revealed (once again) and we were asked a million questions about our relationship, past relationships, our families, our histories, etc. We are confident enough in who we are, where we've been, and how it has shaped us, that I can boldly say we owned that interview. I'm not sure if Adam feels that way, but he seemed confident enough with everything. He was a little preoccupied (hang on, I'll get there in a minute). As far as sharing the experience with you....it was everything I've shared about paperwork, just in person, really. She asked us about our jobs and drew a diagram that represented each of us, our work hours, hobbies, ages, and the like. We talked about how work hours might change for both of us when a baby arrives (Wait. You mean our schedule is gonna change? I hadn't thought of that...) After the diagrams, she pulled out the pink paper. We created a family tree (which took for-e-ver for me) and talked about each member of my family. She asked about temperament, characteristics, relationships I had with each one and their relationships with each other. It was exhausting! Actually, my family is so big, that she wants to meet with me by myself in order to finish my family tree. We were supposed to have two meetings, three hours each. Now we're adding two hours. My individual meeting is scheduled for next week and I could complain about the extra time, but I decided today to stop complaining about any of this. I haven't meant to sound as annoyed as I sound, and I'm actually really excited to be going through all of this! I've let negative comments effect me too much. I've been a little annoyed, but overall I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to adopt (finally!) that I need to focus on the positives and enjoy every single second of it. It will be over before I know it!
So, on to Adam's distraction during out meeting....our realtor had emailed earlier yesterday with an offer on our Iowa house from a potential buyer. He excused himself a couple times during the meeting so that he could work his magic with numbers and close the deal on our house. HE DID IT!!!! Just after our agent left, Adam accepted a counter offer and we confirmed with our realtor that we were ready to sign papers. We're professionals at paperwork now, so I'm not even thinking twice about the faxing, emailing, and signing that is about to take place. I'm so excited the house is taken care of! We are moving next week, so the timing worked out perfectly. Of course, my first question to Adam was if we could go for the bigger apartment we liked so much since the house is selling and we haven't moved yet. But, he suggested we stick to the plan since we already had the ball rolling and the paperwork is finished. I agreed the idea made sense and it would be nice to just save money while we wait to be matched with a birth mother. We still expect things to continue to happen quickly, but if they don't...the longer we wait, the more time we have to come up with that $15,000 placement fee! I'm sure we will end up applying for a loan afterall, but the less we borrow, the better.
On that note of timing, it looks like our last Home Study meeting will be near the end of October. Part of me wants to move that up because we're so far ahead of our original timeline. But, the other part of me doesn't want to stress to finish early...and I want to trust God on timing. The end of October gives us plenty of time to settle into our apartment, wrap up things with the house, adjust to changes, and take a small breather after all the paperwork. Once that last meeting is finished, we wait for approval of Packet II from Love Basket which can take a couple more weeks. I'm okay with that report coming around mid-November(ish). I can't believe I'm already looking at the calendar for November. This year is flying by since we moved! Sheesh. I'm going blink one more time and it will be Christmas! Ooooh. That's exciting! :)
I heard back from both grandmas and our birth certificates and marriage license have been received and hand delivered to Love basket! I'm so happy I was able to delegate that task! It seems small, but it was such a big help. Thanks, Mom and Mom L! :)
I attended my LLL meeting this morning and loved it! I had to duck out a little early to make my next appointment, but the atmosphere was wonderful. Each mom was supportive of my "mom status" and a couple of them were excited to hear what updates I will have next month. I was given several resources, from books to people, and can't wait to get started on that stuff! When I updated my blog the other night, I realized that only the home pages functions the way it does-where I can post entries, label them, and what have you. So, I may be linking to a separate blog regarding adoptive breastfeeding and just deleting that page on this blog. We will see. I don't want to get ahead of myself and plan more than I can follow through with! So, if that page is annoying to follow...hang in there.
Today I plan to get our online class figured out, organize my copies of the paperwork we've recently sent in, and prep myself for the weekend. I'm hoping to finish paperwork and be registered for our classes by Sunday. IF that happens, next week will be our last week of paperwork, assignments, and turning in packets. Of course, this goal may be a little ambitious, so I'm okay if things take a little longer. But, sitting in that meeting today with moms holding new babies added fire to my flame. I want to keep going. I want to finish this so I can have my baby! Last night's meeting led to a restless night of longing for my baby whom I haven't even met...who may not even be on earth yet. It wasn't a sad longing, but a desire from the bottom of my heart, to hold my baby. I want to meet him or her. I always saw myself with a rollie pollie chub of a baby because that's how I was. But now, I have no idea what my baby will look like. So the image in my head changes over and over....which in turn refuels the longing. Writing about it now brings it all back. I can't wait! The day is so close, yet so far away.
I will update more tomorrow once I get myself re-organized. We have the final pages of adoption stuff coming up, a trip to Davenport to organize the move, and then the move itself. Thank goodness I had the sense to plan a weekend away with my best friend! Not only that...I had forgotten about a week of vacation coming up at work. Soooo, our weekend away, meeting halfway between here and Denver, turned into me driving all the way there and spending a week just enjoying Colorado. Paperwork will definitely be finished by then, and I should have us pretty settled into the apartment, so the timing for a vacation couldn't have worked out much better than this! I will miss Adam after the first day or so, but I'm so excited to spend a whole week on vacation that I think I can fill my time enough to keep from getting too home sick. And I just want to say, that I LOVE the fact that I get home sick when I'm away without Adam. It took awhile to get to this point and its a wonderful feeling. :)
Little E just woke up. Keep your eyes open! I should be back tomorrow with more information!
Have a great afternoon!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Cue the Angel Choir
I can see the bottom of my folder! Packet II is over half way complete. All the forms are filled out. Adam and I have a three-day long to-do list and one more Power Paper weekend in our future and I think we will have it finished. That's my goal: Complete Packet II by Sunday.
Here's what our week looks like so far:
*Adam has his appointment for a physical exam and blood panel today
*Adam is having his fingerprints scanned today and then mailing in the cards
*I have my blood work scheduled for tomorrow morning (I will remember to fast this time!)
*I plan to have my finger prints scanned after tomorrow's appointment
*Wednesday is our first Home Study visit! Can you believe it's here already?? It's so surreal. We are a little nervous, but I figure, "it is what it is" and we are who we are. Hopefully she thinks we're great. ;)
I've spoken with our closest friends over the weekend regarding our references. Boy, do they have their homework cut out for them. I contacted each person to be sure we're still friends after they had time to review their assignment. One reference said her letter to the agency was three pages long after answering all the questions on the form. Our adoption agents are going to know us better than most of our readers by the time we get through all this paperwork! Check out the 52 question "Self Study" we have in our Home Study packet. I finished mine this weekend (thus the angel choir) and Adam is working on his. I'm going to list every single one of them. You know why? Because if I were reading this blog from the other side, I would be interested to know this part. I've added my own commentary at an attempt of entertaining you while you read (and read and read and read). Alright, here goes nothin':
About You
1. Briefly describe your personality, temperament, and the values which are most important to you.
2.What do you like best about yourself? (Brag a little!)
3. What would you like to change about yourself?
4. What have been the most fulfilling accomplishments in your life?
5. What kind of things in life are most important to you?
6. What are your personal short-term and long-term goals?
Your Childhood and Family
1. Briefly describe your childhood-your feelings about parents, siblings, and other early memories about your family.
2. Describe your mother's personality and temperament.
3. Describe your father's personality and temperament.
4. Describe your parents' marriage.
5. How did your parents show affection/anger?
6. Describe your school years-academics, relationships with peers, school activities. What schools did you attend, date(s) of graduation, etc?
7. What things about your childhood would you have changed?
Your Marriage Relationship
1.Briefly share when, how you met, and what first attracted you to one another.
2. Discuss your decision to marry and the wedding.
3. Describe your first year of marriage.
4. What do you like about your marriage?
5. What do you admire about your spouse?
6. What activities/interests do you share together?
7. Describe how your marriage has changed over the years.
8. Describe the highlights of your relationship.
9. Describe the low points in your relationship and how you worked through the situations.
10. How do you handle disagreements and conflicts between you? How are feelings expressed in your relationship? (Can I tell you that I've thrown my shoes at Hubbo's head? Will that make me look bad? Lucky for him my aim isn't so great...)
11. If previously married, please list the name of former spouse, date and reason for dissolution of marriage. (Woo! We get to skip one!!)
12. What is your current relationship or contact with former spouse? (Woo! Skip ahead one more space!)
13. Where there any children born or adopted during this relationship? (Aaaand skip three....woo hoo!)
14. What is your division of labor around the household? Management of finances? (Division of labor? Well...that's what the kid is for...duh.)
15. What are your short-term and long term goals as a couple? (to stay married. Does that count?)
16. Compare and contrast your life as a couple with or without adding a child to your family. (Um....not having children in our life is not an option, does that count as an answer? Because that's what I said....)
Parenting
1. What is appealing to you about parenting?
2. What changes would you expect to occur in your lifestyle after placement of a child in your family? (Everything? Just a hunch...)
3. How do you/would you parent the same/differently than your own parents
4. What role do mothers/fathers play in a child's development?
5. What is/will be the hardest part of parenting? (I won't know until I get there, but I can list about 25 things off the top of my head...?)
6. What is/will be the most rewarding part of parenting? (Please see number 5)
7. What expectations do you have for your child educationally? Spiritually? Socially? Occupationally? (None. Is that okay? Then everything they do will make them look genius....)
8. How do you/would you feel about disciplining children? What disciplinary methods do you/would you use?
9. What separates excellent parents from average parents?
Employment and Community Life
1. List significant previous employment. Why did you choose other employment? (Oh, you mean all the stuff I listed on your last form? You want me to repeat myself. Are you going to ask me this in person too? Like doctors do? Oh, okay. No problem. .:copy; paste:.)
2. How do you feel about your present employer? What kinds of satisfactions/dissatisfaction do you get from your job? [L, my boss, would be happy to know I only have great things to say here! I have the exact job I was looking for. Craziness and all. ;)]
3. What leisure and recreational activities do you enjoy? (Filling out adoption paperwork! Do I get points for that one??)
4. What community activities (groups, church, clubs) do you participate in?
5. Describe your friends and what kind of things you do together. (We talk about adoption paperwork and the crazy hoops I've been jumping through and that maybe I should join the circus...)
Adoption
1. Why do you wish to adopt a child (Hey, there's an important question in here...that's nice to know!)
2. What is your definition of open adoption (Aaahhh! I'm done with this topic. I don't care if we have joint custody at this point, I just want to be finished answering this question! OKay some of that isn't true....)
3. What are the advantages of open adoption?
4. What are your fears of open adoption? (Suddenly the old Chili's commercial jingle pops in my head, "I waaant my babyback babyback babyback....")
5. What are your attitudes toward birth parents who place their children for adoption?
6. How will you and the birth parents negotiate/resolve differences in expectations regarding openness? (Can we flip quarters, pull straws, and play rock/paper/scissors? It works on the playground...)
7. How will you tell your child about his/her adoption?
8. Do your parents and siblings know you plan to adopt a child? If so, what are their reactions and understandings of adoption? (Nah. We figured we live out of state so we can just pretend I'm pregnant and stay away from home for 9 months...then just show up at Christmas with a little tyke that randomly has curly red hair and freckles. Seems like a good idea to me...)
And done. Are you crazy yet? Did you consider your own answers to any of these questions and not go nutso? If your answer is yes, give yourself 10 points! Okay you can have 20 points, I don't care. They don't count anyway...
******* In Other News*******
Friday's experience at the doctor's office made me determined to make today feel like anything but a Monday. It also brought up a not-so-fun-but-oh-so-necessary conversation with my best friend. I have been pushing all things related to infertility out of my life for the last five years. I prefer not to go into detail on here because, well, that's a tiny bit personal, and I'm sharing everything else...I want to be a little bit mysterious. ;)
However, I will say that I've realized I have some things to face that this paperwork has pushed to the surface. The interesting thing is that the things that have come up that bother me most, don't seem to be things my adoptive parent friends had to deal with when doing their own paperwork. So...maybe God made my journey different so I can stop running into the same brick wall? Maybe. He seems to kind of know what He's doing.
I plan to schedule an appointment with the people recommended to me by my doctor. Not only will I get the consultation I need for adoptive breastfeeding (updates to that page coming soon!), but also a little counseling through the adoption process. I'm not ashamed to talk to a counselor or therapist and have learned to appreciate all they can do for me. My life has completely changed because I've been an open book and willing to learn. I've received some really bad advice that definitely wasn't work the $80/hour I was charged...but even that taught me to still listen to myself, even when the voices in my head sound a little trippy. :)
So, there you go. Lots on the list for this week, including a visit to a counselor. But I'm okay with that. Adopting forces you to think about a LOT of feelings. And I'm kind of tired of thinking about my feelings....so I'm gonna have someone pull it out of me, make me cry some more, then make me feel better, and make me more awesome. Oh come on, it's funny.
Okay, I think that's it. I'll keep you posted on our visits to the State Patrol for fingerprints (Like a live CSI audition, without the cameras and celebrities...) and our three hour interview with a case worker. That will be the highlight of the week for sure. Does anyone want to guess how excited Jovi will be to see this lady? How many times might she here, "Jovi! Off!", "Jovi! Sit.", "Jovi! No Lick.", "Oh, Jovi." Maybe we can take guesses and if I can keep track the whole time, I'll pick the person closest to the correct answer. I'm going with 97 million times Jovi will be redirected and/or reminded how to behave politely...you know, by giving people space and not demanding every ounce of their attention. Huh. She kinda sounds like her Mama. So proud. :)
Have a Happy Monday! Pretend it's Friday!!
Here's what our week looks like so far:
*Adam has his appointment for a physical exam and blood panel today
*Adam is having his fingerprints scanned today and then mailing in the cards
*I have my blood work scheduled for tomorrow morning (I will remember to fast this time!)
*I plan to have my finger prints scanned after tomorrow's appointment
*Wednesday is our first Home Study visit! Can you believe it's here already?? It's so surreal. We are a little nervous, but I figure, "it is what it is" and we are who we are. Hopefully she thinks we're great. ;)
I've spoken with our closest friends over the weekend regarding our references. Boy, do they have their homework cut out for them. I contacted each person to be sure we're still friends after they had time to review their assignment. One reference said her letter to the agency was three pages long after answering all the questions on the form. Our adoption agents are going to know us better than most of our readers by the time we get through all this paperwork! Check out the 52 question "Self Study" we have in our Home Study packet. I finished mine this weekend (thus the angel choir) and Adam is working on his. I'm going to list every single one of them. You know why? Because if I were reading this blog from the other side, I would be interested to know this part. I've added my own commentary at an attempt of entertaining you while you read (and read and read and read). Alright, here goes nothin':
About You
1. Briefly describe your personality, temperament, and the values which are most important to you.
2.What do you like best about yourself? (Brag a little!)
3. What would you like to change about yourself?
4. What have been the most fulfilling accomplishments in your life?
5. What kind of things in life are most important to you?
6. What are your personal short-term and long-term goals?
Your Childhood and Family
1. Briefly describe your childhood-your feelings about parents, siblings, and other early memories about your family.
2. Describe your mother's personality and temperament.
3. Describe your father's personality and temperament.
4. Describe your parents' marriage.
5. How did your parents show affection/anger?
6. Describe your school years-academics, relationships with peers, school activities. What schools did you attend, date(s) of graduation, etc?
7. What things about your childhood would you have changed?
Your Marriage Relationship
1.Briefly share when, how you met, and what first attracted you to one another.
2. Discuss your decision to marry and the wedding.
3. Describe your first year of marriage.
4. What do you like about your marriage?
5. What do you admire about your spouse?
6. What activities/interests do you share together?
7. Describe how your marriage has changed over the years.
8. Describe the highlights of your relationship.
9. Describe the low points in your relationship and how you worked through the situations.
10. How do you handle disagreements and conflicts between you? How are feelings expressed in your relationship? (Can I tell you that I've thrown my shoes at Hubbo's head? Will that make me look bad? Lucky for him my aim isn't so great...)
11. If previously married, please list the name of former spouse, date and reason for dissolution of marriage. (Woo! We get to skip one!!)
12. What is your current relationship or contact with former spouse? (Woo! Skip ahead one more space!)
13. Where there any children born or adopted during this relationship? (Aaaand skip three....woo hoo!)
14. What is your division of labor around the household? Management of finances? (Division of labor? Well...that's what the kid is for...duh.)
15. What are your short-term and long term goals as a couple? (to stay married. Does that count?)
16. Compare and contrast your life as a couple with or without adding a child to your family. (Um....not having children in our life is not an option, does that count as an answer? Because that's what I said....)
Parenting
1. What is appealing to you about parenting?
2. What changes would you expect to occur in your lifestyle after placement of a child in your family? (Everything? Just a hunch...)
3. How do you/would you parent the same/differently than your own parents
4. What role do mothers/fathers play in a child's development?
5. What is/will be the hardest part of parenting? (I won't know until I get there, but I can list about 25 things off the top of my head...?)
6. What is/will be the most rewarding part of parenting? (Please see number 5)
7. What expectations do you have for your child educationally? Spiritually? Socially? Occupationally? (None. Is that okay? Then everything they do will make them look genius....)
8. How do you/would you feel about disciplining children? What disciplinary methods do you/would you use?
9. What separates excellent parents from average parents?
Employment and Community Life
1. List significant previous employment. Why did you choose other employment? (Oh, you mean all the stuff I listed on your last form? You want me to repeat myself. Are you going to ask me this in person too? Like doctors do? Oh, okay. No problem. .:copy; paste:.)
2. How do you feel about your present employer? What kinds of satisfactions/dissatisfaction do you get from your job? [L, my boss, would be happy to know I only have great things to say here! I have the exact job I was looking for. Craziness and all. ;)]
3. What leisure and recreational activities do you enjoy? (Filling out adoption paperwork! Do I get points for that one??)
4. What community activities (groups, church, clubs) do you participate in?
5. Describe your friends and what kind of things you do together. (We talk about adoption paperwork and the crazy hoops I've been jumping through and that maybe I should join the circus...)
Adoption
1. Why do you wish to adopt a child (Hey, there's an important question in here...that's nice to know!)
2. What is your definition of open adoption (Aaahhh! I'm done with this topic. I don't care if we have joint custody at this point, I just want to be finished answering this question! OKay some of that isn't true....)
3. What are the advantages of open adoption?
4. What are your fears of open adoption? (Suddenly the old Chili's commercial jingle pops in my head, "I waaant my babyback babyback babyback....")
5. What are your attitudes toward birth parents who place their children for adoption?
6. How will you and the birth parents negotiate/resolve differences in expectations regarding openness? (Can we flip quarters, pull straws, and play rock/paper/scissors? It works on the playground...)
7. How will you tell your child about his/her adoption?
8. Do your parents and siblings know you plan to adopt a child? If so, what are their reactions and understandings of adoption? (Nah. We figured we live out of state so we can just pretend I'm pregnant and stay away from home for 9 months...then just show up at Christmas with a little tyke that randomly has curly red hair and freckles. Seems like a good idea to me...)
And done. Are you crazy yet? Did you consider your own answers to any of these questions and not go nutso? If your answer is yes, give yourself 10 points! Okay you can have 20 points, I don't care. They don't count anyway...
******* In Other News*******
Friday's experience at the doctor's office made me determined to make today feel like anything but a Monday. It also brought up a not-so-fun-but-oh-so-necessary conversation with my best friend. I have been pushing all things related to infertility out of my life for the last five years. I prefer not to go into detail on here because, well, that's a tiny bit personal, and I'm sharing everything else...I want to be a little bit mysterious. ;)
However, I will say that I've realized I have some things to face that this paperwork has pushed to the surface. The interesting thing is that the things that have come up that bother me most, don't seem to be things my adoptive parent friends had to deal with when doing their own paperwork. So...maybe God made my journey different so I can stop running into the same brick wall? Maybe. He seems to kind of know what He's doing.
I plan to schedule an appointment with the people recommended to me by my doctor. Not only will I get the consultation I need for adoptive breastfeeding (updates to that page coming soon!), but also a little counseling through the adoption process. I'm not ashamed to talk to a counselor or therapist and have learned to appreciate all they can do for me. My life has completely changed because I've been an open book and willing to learn. I've received some really bad advice that definitely wasn't work the $80/hour I was charged...but even that taught me to still listen to myself, even when the voices in my head sound a little trippy. :)
So, there you go. Lots on the list for this week, including a visit to a counselor. But I'm okay with that. Adopting forces you to think about a LOT of feelings. And I'm kind of tired of thinking about my feelings....so I'm gonna have someone pull it out of me, make me cry some more, then make me feel better, and make me more awesome. Oh come on, it's funny.
Okay, I think that's it. I'll keep you posted on our visits to the State Patrol for fingerprints (Like a live CSI audition, without the cameras and celebrities...) and our three hour interview with a case worker. That will be the highlight of the week for sure. Does anyone want to guess how excited Jovi will be to see this lady? How many times might she here, "Jovi! Off!", "Jovi! Sit.", "Jovi! No Lick.", "Oh, Jovi." Maybe we can take guesses and if I can keep track the whole time, I'll pick the person closest to the correct answer. I'm going with 97 million times Jovi will be redirected and/or reminded how to behave politely...you know, by giving people space and not demanding every ounce of their attention. Huh. She kinda sounds like her Mama. So proud. :)
Have a Happy Monday! Pretend it's Friday!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Operation: Home Study/Packet II Starts Today!
I knew there was a lot coming my way, but I wasn't prepared emotionally. After my last post, I may or may not have had a small break down that consisted of some girl time on the phone with my best friend, in order to see things clearly. I'm good now, back to my senses, and ready to move forward.
Since my last post, I've contacted three local agencies and spoken with our agent at Love Basket. Here is what I've learned:
Packet II from the Love Basket has yet to arrive, but I knew we needed to have a Home Study done by a local agency because the information is state regulated and our agency is in Missouri, while we are here in Nebraska.
A home study consists of the following:
Background checks for both of us, at the state and federal levels
A local police screening for each of us, including fingerprinting
A physical for each of us
6 hours of interviews with the local agency, including an interview in our home and conversations with Adam and me individually.
The local agency calling all of our references and receiving feedback from each one. Most of our references are married couples, and my understanding is that each person will be interviewed individually.
Possible adoption training (online class, DVD lectures, books, etc.)
I called Lutheran Family Services, Child Savings Institution, and Nebraska Christian Services. Prices ranged from $1300-$2100 and did not include the price of our physicals or fingerprinting. Each agency charges for driving mileage related to our case file. My understanding is each charges the government regulated rate, but I haven't confirmed that fee. All three agencies are in the city of Omaha, so I wasn't worried about this expense rising to high.
Our physicals will be priced based on our insurance coverage and fingerprinting/police screening in Nebraska is $32 per person. Once our fees are confirmed and paid, I will post them on our expense page in section two.
Considering the service I received over the phone, prices, services provided, and accessibility, we have chosen Child Saving Institute. They charge $1600 for the home study and may offer the possibility of making 2 payments, as opposed to all funds up front as usually requested. I am not sure what qualifies a couple for making payments, but the option would be nice, so hopefully we make the cut!
In addition to our Home Study, we will need to read the following books: Raising Adoptive Children and Dear Birth Mother, Thank You For Our Baby. I've ordered both books through Amazon and am expecting them within the week. We may have online training to complete through CSI, but won't be certain until we received our packet and checklist from them. I plan to call CSI tomorrow to start the Home Study process!
The Love Basket requires training of us beyond our assigned reading. Adoptive parents within 500 miles of the agency's office are required to attend a training day. Because we are not in that mile radius, we will be sent a DVD to watch unless we choose to make a trip home for an in-person training day. I was told today that the next training day is booked, but we could attend the following training...in March. If we choose the live option, our packet II process will not be help up. A note will be made in our file that our training is pending, and we can proceed with the adoption as normal. Otherwise, we will be mailed the DVD and proceed as planned. I'm not sure what follow up we may have to do, if any, but will have a better idea once each packet is in my hands. I have been under the impression we will need to write a paper or answer questions about our training, but that may not be the case.
As I type this blog and pull up appropriate links to paste, I've stopped to look through the CSI website a little further. They have a page of children awaiting adoptive families, complete with photos and a paragraph of information. I'm falling in love with a girl named Brittany who looks to be about 14 years old. Adam looked at her photo and listened to me read her bio. He smiled, shook his head, and told me to stop "looking at that stuff." He's a sucker as much as I am for little girls in need. Note to self: stay away from adoption bios unless strongly led to do so by God, an agency, or my husband. We are applying for an infant adoption, but I would open my home to a teen in a heartbeat. I remember being 14, and can't imagine what it would have been like for me to live without parents. My childhood has good and bad memories, but I had parents. And now I'm on a rant about adopting a teenager whose photo I've happened upon within an hour of blogging about adopting a baby. Oh sheesh.
Back on topic: We are looking at the above process taking about two months, possibly a little longer. Some items that can hold up the process are-references making themselves available for the agency to contact (hint, hint, if you're on the list) ;), doctors forwarding results of each physical, and the police department forwarding their information after the scan and fingerprinting. Most of Packet II is out of our hands aside from reading, making appointments, and staying on top of everything else. I'm pretty good at phone calls, and even better at insisting on quick answers....this should go pretty well for us. We shall see...
I've left out details for the sake of keeping this blog entry readable without getting boring. If you have particular questions regarding anything I've addressed in this post or any others, I am more than happy to answer them for you via email or comment.! Of course, if you have my number and have questions, you can call me, too.
Your continued support is appreciated. Our current prayer is still revolving around our birth parents and a unified decision of adoption, and now for our Home Study and Packet II process to go smoothly.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the comments. Its reassuring that people are interested in our journey and I'm not just humoring myself by keeping track of all of this online. ;) Keep the comments coming!
I'm sure I'll have more information tomorrow....stay tuned.
Since my last post, I've contacted three local agencies and spoken with our agent at Love Basket. Here is what I've learned:
Packet II from the Love Basket has yet to arrive, but I knew we needed to have a Home Study done by a local agency because the information is state regulated and our agency is in Missouri, while we are here in Nebraska.
A home study consists of the following:
Background checks for both of us, at the state and federal levels
A local police screening for each of us, including fingerprinting
A physical for each of us
6 hours of interviews with the local agency, including an interview in our home and conversations with Adam and me individually.
The local agency calling all of our references and receiving feedback from each one. Most of our references are married couples, and my understanding is that each person will be interviewed individually.
Possible adoption training (online class, DVD lectures, books, etc.)
I called Lutheran Family Services, Child Savings Institution, and Nebraska Christian Services. Prices ranged from $1300-$2100 and did not include the price of our physicals or fingerprinting. Each agency charges for driving mileage related to our case file. My understanding is each charges the government regulated rate, but I haven't confirmed that fee. All three agencies are in the city of Omaha, so I wasn't worried about this expense rising to high.
Our physicals will be priced based on our insurance coverage and fingerprinting/police screening in Nebraska is $32 per person. Once our fees are confirmed and paid, I will post them on our expense page in section two.
Considering the service I received over the phone, prices, services provided, and accessibility, we have chosen Child Saving Institute. They charge $1600 for the home study and may offer the possibility of making 2 payments, as opposed to all funds up front as usually requested. I am not sure what qualifies a couple for making payments, but the option would be nice, so hopefully we make the cut!
In addition to our Home Study, we will need to read the following books: Raising Adoptive Children and Dear Birth Mother, Thank You For Our Baby. I've ordered both books through Amazon and am expecting them within the week. We may have online training to complete through CSI, but won't be certain until we received our packet and checklist from them. I plan to call CSI tomorrow to start the Home Study process!
The Love Basket requires training of us beyond our assigned reading. Adoptive parents within 500 miles of the agency's office are required to attend a training day. Because we are not in that mile radius, we will be sent a DVD to watch unless we choose to make a trip home for an in-person training day. I was told today that the next training day is booked, but we could attend the following training...in March. If we choose the live option, our packet II process will not be help up. A note will be made in our file that our training is pending, and we can proceed with the adoption as normal. Otherwise, we will be mailed the DVD and proceed as planned. I'm not sure what follow up we may have to do, if any, but will have a better idea once each packet is in my hands. I have been under the impression we will need to write a paper or answer questions about our training, but that may not be the case.
As I type this blog and pull up appropriate links to paste, I've stopped to look through the CSI website a little further. They have a page of children awaiting adoptive families, complete with photos and a paragraph of information. I'm falling in love with a girl named Brittany who looks to be about 14 years old. Adam looked at her photo and listened to me read her bio. He smiled, shook his head, and told me to stop "looking at that stuff." He's a sucker as much as I am for little girls in need. Note to self: stay away from adoption bios unless strongly led to do so by God, an agency, or my husband. We are applying for an infant adoption, but I would open my home to a teen in a heartbeat. I remember being 14, and can't imagine what it would have been like for me to live without parents. My childhood has good and bad memories, but I had parents. And now I'm on a rant about adopting a teenager whose photo I've happened upon within an hour of blogging about adopting a baby. Oh sheesh.
Back on topic: We are looking at the above process taking about two months, possibly a little longer. Some items that can hold up the process are-references making themselves available for the agency to contact (hint, hint, if you're on the list) ;), doctors forwarding results of each physical, and the police department forwarding their information after the scan and fingerprinting. Most of Packet II is out of our hands aside from reading, making appointments, and staying on top of everything else. I'm pretty good at phone calls, and even better at insisting on quick answers....this should go pretty well for us. We shall see...
I've left out details for the sake of keeping this blog entry readable without getting boring. If you have particular questions regarding anything I've addressed in this post or any others, I am more than happy to answer them for you via email or comment.! Of course, if you have my number and have questions, you can call me, too.
Your continued support is appreciated. Our current prayer is still revolving around our birth parents and a unified decision of adoption, and now for our Home Study and Packet II process to go smoothly.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the comments. Its reassuring that people are interested in our journey and I'm not just humoring myself by keeping track of all of this online. ;) Keep the comments coming!
I'm sure I'll have more information tomorrow....stay tuned.
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