Step by Step....Inch by Inch....

Yesterday our Home Study was edited, signed by all necessary parties, and emailed to Love Basket.  I talked with our Adoption agent today.  Here is where we are:

Adoption agent prepares our file for the review committee
Review committee (one other agent, plus the agency's owner) review our file
After approval (which I was told to expect), we have a phone interview with one of the agents at Love Basket who meets with Birth Parents.  Once the interview is complete, our profile book is reviewed by that same agent and sent back to us for revisions (if necessary).  After the final copy is approved, we make six more copies of our profile and send them to Love Basket.  From there, LB sends them out to all Birth Parent counselors.  Once they are in the hands of counselors, all profile-ready Birth Parents begin to review our book. (Deeep breathe)

A few elaborations:
The owner of Love Basket has been out of the office since Tuesday.  He will return Monday, but then leave again for the rest of the week.  Our agent is doing her best to put what she can on his desk for Monday, but warned me that we may not hear back from her, regarding his approval, for two weeks.  (!)

We were given our profile instructions early, so we can work on that early and have it reviewed even before we are officially approved.  'm working on that book now (finally!) and hope to complete it by the end of next week.

We are so freaking close to being available to birth mothers!  I have goosebumps all over my body as I type this information.  

Since I'm at a stopping point on the first page I'm working on for our profile book, I'm going to share it with you.  This is a template.  The only thing that won't change is the photo of the layout of our apartment.  Also remember the photo is a screen shot, so the black border won't be on the printed page.  I hope to knock out three of these pages before Little Man wakes up!  Cross your fingers for me!  I need this tightening in my chest to go away now.

P.S. if you click on the photos I upload, they will enlarge on your screen.

Guess What I Just Did?

Warning: Intense Excitement up Ahead

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have JUST dropped our final papers in the mail for Packet II!!!!  

Here's what's left on my To-Do list:
-Touch base with CSI (tomorrow) on our status with the Home Study paperwork
-Meet with CSI for final Home Study visit (next Wednesday!!!!)
-Turn in "forgotten" documents to CSI during last home visit
-Follow up with Love Basket to confirm receipt of Home Study Report
-Wait for approval from LB
-Wait for Profile information to arrive in the mail (upon approval)
-Begin our Profile for birth mothers to review and be an official "Awaiting Family"

Um.  That's all, folks.

PRAISE JESUS!!! We're almost finished!

Keep praying, please!  Everything is going smoothly.  We're getting closer and closer to meeting our Birth Parents and then....our BaaaabbbyyyyYYY!!! :D

Stuck in the Mud

I'm beginning to feel defeated by all this paper work.  As soon as I think I'm finished (remember the exciting post about having five things left to do), I come up with another mile-long To-Do list!

Here's what I'm looking at, in no specific order, really:

-Follow-up with last reference for Love Basket
-Mail Missouri Background Forms (these were forgotten in Packet II)
-Photocopy Adam's CPR Card
-Obtain (read: find) my CPR Card
-Mail copies of both cards to LB
-Follow up with CSI Agent (on October 15th)
-Print Pictorial Essay for our records
-Print Family Autobiography for our records
-Print certificate from Adoption Learning Partners (our online class)
-Send copy of ALP certificate to LB
-Deliver forgotten forms and certificates to CSI (W-2s, Birth Certificates, Marriage License...to be presented at our final Pre-Adoption Home Study meeting)
-Finish LB Adoption Training (Discussion Panel, last part of disk 3)
-Get signatures from Adam (I have a stack of papers for him, it's been awhile...I bet he misses getting stacks of paper from me, you now, because it's so sexy)
-Sign and Send DVD Training Form (says we completed the training via DVD)
-Fill out Contact with Birth Parents worksheet (dun dun dun...)

Okay.  That's my list.  Hopefully I can tackle most of this over the weekend!  I've been working non-stop on moving and can't believe how quickly time is going by while my adoption list grows and grows.  I *think about it a LOT...but thinking and doing are NOT the same.  (too bad, man).

I've had a million thoughts as I've been *not* doing things on my list and I can't even remember what all has gone through my head.  Plenty of times I thought, "ooh, I should blog about this...it's kind of important."  And then three days go by and I forget that I wanted to blog about...wait, what was it I was so caught up in yesterday?...So, yeah, that's how it goes when you're moving and adopting, and moving, and selling a house all at the same time.

I DID, however, think (and remember that I thought) about going back to school.  There is a psychology class on my list of requirements that I was saving for when I transferred to a University.  However, I *can* take it at the community college level.  It's a class on child growth and development that I think would teach me an invaluable amount of information regarding the psychology and brain development of our new baby and how to implement the most important measures regarding attachment and bonding.  I'm missing out on the first 9 months of this, so we will have some catching up to do from the get-go!

And then I realized, I have so much on my plate....how on EARTH would I handle going back to school right now?  "Keep your feet on the ground.  Keep your feet on the ground."  "When you get bored, grab your To-Do list...don't ADD more hats to your head!"

So, now I'm sane again and dreaming of a day I go back to school.  I'm happily dreaming, not feeling like I'm missing out on anything...just realize I miss school.  Wait.  Yes.  Yes, I just said that I miss school.  I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been a semester off and I could use at least another year off....but I already miss it.  Beeeecause I'm a little bit crazy.  But most of you already knew that. 

Our gratitude continues as we receive phenomenal support!  Please keep praying for us, for our Birth Parents, and for our BABY!!!!  Baby Lewis seems so so very close.  We're excited, pressing on, and enjoying life while we wait.

Home Study Visit 1: Check!

I planned on blogging yesterday, but the day was so busy that I went straight to bed after dinner!  Of course, I didn't fall asleep until after 10:00, but that's beside the point.

For starters, I was wrong about my meeting with Le Leche League.  It wasn't yesterday, it was today.  Good thing, because I did not have time for a meeting yesterday!  I cleaned the apartment, frantically searched for something appropriate to wear for the occasion (thanks to all who helped!  I went with comfy and cozy...but no yoga pants, unfortunately...and was complimented on my outfit at the end of the meeting...that's an added plus).  

The Home Study went well.  It started off a little...uncomfortable?  I'm such a hostess that I felt akward without my kitchen, my own dishes, and the accessibility to do what I like to do so much and cater to people who visit my home!  I didn't even feel at home.  I missed my big house in Iowa that has so much space and I suddenly felt disconnected.  Adam sensed my discomfort and did an amazing job of leading conversation until I was at ease.  It's not like me to be uncomfortable in social situations so I was worried about sending off a bad "vibe".  I think I ended up okay, though.  By the time she left I was talking a million words a minute while she frantically took notes on her baby pink paper that was designated for me.  [Adam's paper is baby blue...interesting.  And kinda cute:)]

I think Adam and I were both a little nervous about the meeting and where things might go.  Sure enough, our entire lives were revealed (once again) and we were asked a million questions about our relationship, past relationships, our families, our histories, etc.  We are confident enough in who we are, where we've been, and how it has shaped us, that I can boldly say we owned that interview.  I'm not sure if Adam feels that way, but he seemed confident enough with everything.  He was a little preoccupied (hang on, I'll get there in a minute).  As far as sharing the experience with you....it was everything I've shared about paperwork, just in person, really.  She asked us about our jobs and drew a diagram that represented each of us, our work hours, hobbies, ages, and the like.  We talked about how work hours might change for both of us when a baby arrives (Wait.  You mean our schedule is gonna change?  I hadn't thought of that...) After the diagrams, she pulled out the pink paper.  We created a family tree (which took for-e-ver for me) and talked about each member of my family.  She asked about temperament, characteristics, relationships I had with each one and their relationships with each other.  It was exhausting!  Actually, my family is so big, that she wants to meet with me by myself in order to finish my family tree.  We were supposed to have two meetings, three hours each.  Now we're adding two hours.  My individual meeting is scheduled for next week and I could complain about the extra time, but I decided today to stop complaining about any of this.  I haven't meant to sound as annoyed as I sound, and I'm actually really excited to be going through all of this!  I've let negative comments effect me too much.  I've been a little annoyed, but overall I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to adopt (finally!) that I need to focus on the positives and enjoy every single second of it.  It will be over before I know it!

So, on to Adam's distraction during out meeting....our realtor had emailed earlier yesterday with an offer on our Iowa house from a potential buyer.  He excused himself a couple times during the meeting so that he could work his magic with numbers and close the deal on our house.  HE DID IT!!!!  Just after our agent left, Adam accepted a counter offer and we confirmed with our realtor that we were ready to sign papers.  We're professionals at paperwork now, so I'm not even thinking twice about the faxing, emailing, and signing that is about to take place.  I'm so excited the house is taken care of!  We are moving next week, so the timing worked out perfectly.  Of course, my first question to Adam was if we could go for the bigger apartment we liked so much since the house is selling and we haven't moved yet.  But, he suggested we stick to the plan since we already had the ball rolling and the paperwork is finished.  I agreed the idea made sense and it would be nice to just save money while we wait to be matched with a birth mother.  We still expect things to continue to happen quickly, but if they don't...the longer we wait, the more time we have to come up with that $15,000 placement fee!  I'm sure we will end up applying for a loan afterall, but the less we borrow, the better.

On that note of timing, it looks like our last Home Study meeting will be near the end of October.  Part of me wants to move that up because we're so far ahead of our original timeline.  But, the other part of me doesn't want to stress to finish early...and I want to trust God on timing.  The end of October gives us plenty of time to settle into our apartment, wrap up things with the house, adjust to changes, and take a small breather after all the paperwork.  Once that last meeting is finished, we wait for approval of Packet II from Love Basket which can take a couple more weeks.  I'm okay with that report coming around mid-November(ish).  I can't believe I'm already looking at the calendar for November.  This year is flying by since we moved!  Sheesh.  I'm going blink one more time and it will be Christmas!  Ooooh.  That's exciting! :)

I heard back from both grandmas and our birth certificates and marriage license have been received and hand delivered to Love basket!  I'm so happy I was able to delegate that task!  It seems small, but it was such a big help.  Thanks, Mom and Mom L! :)

I attended my LLL meeting this morning and loved it!  I had to duck out a little early to make my next appointment, but the atmosphere was wonderful.  Each mom was supportive of my "mom status" and a couple of them were excited to hear what updates I will have next month.  I was given several resources, from books to people, and can't wait to get started on that stuff!  When I updated my blog the other night, I realized that only the home pages functions the way it does-where I can post entries, label them, and what have you.  So, I may be linking to a separate blog regarding adoptive breastfeeding and just deleting that page on this blog.  We will see.  I don't want to get ahead of myself and plan more than I can follow through with!  So, if that page is annoying to follow...hang in there.

Today I plan to get our online class figured out, organize my copies of the paperwork we've recently sent in, and prep myself for the weekend.  I'm hoping to finish paperwork and be registered for our classes by Sunday.  IF that happens, next week will be our last week of paperwork, assignments, and turning in packets.  Of course, this goal may be a little ambitious, so I'm okay if things take a little longer.  But, sitting in that meeting today with moms holding new babies added fire to my flame.  I want to keep going.  I want to finish this so I can have my baby!  Last night's meeting led to a restless night of longing for my baby whom I haven't even met...who may not even be on earth yet.  It wasn't a sad longing, but a desire from the bottom of my heart, to hold my baby.  I want to meet him or her.  I always saw myself with a rollie pollie chub of a baby because that's how I was.  But now, I have no idea what my baby will look like.  So the image in my head changes over and over....which in turn refuels the longing.  Writing about it now brings it all back.  I can't wait!  The day is so close, yet so far away.  

I will update more tomorrow once I get myself re-organized.  We have the final pages of adoption stuff coming up, a trip to Davenport to organize the move, and then the move itself.  Thank goodness I had the sense to plan a weekend away with my best friend!  Not only that...I had forgotten about a week of vacation coming up at work.  Soooo, our weekend away, meeting halfway between here and Denver, turned into me driving all the way there and spending a week just enjoying Colorado.  Paperwork will definitely be finished by then, and I should have us pretty settled into the apartment, so the timing for a vacation couldn't have worked out much better than this!  I will miss Adam after the first day or so, but I'm so excited to spend a whole week on vacation that I think I can fill my time enough to keep from getting too home sick.  And I just want to say, that I LOVE the fact that I get home sick when I'm away without Adam.  It took awhile to get to this point and its a wonderful feeling. :)

Little E just woke up.  Keep your eyes open!  I should be back tomorrow with more information!

Have a great afternoon!

Kickin Bums and Takin' Names...wait...what?

As I sit here to address the latest happenings in the Baby Lewis story, my husband is across from me filling out his "Self Study" that has to be complete before he goes to bed tonight (which is about an hour from now...)and he is saying the sweetest things about how much free time he has, how much he loves to fill out paperwork, and how meaningful each of these questions are to him.  You know, the questions I posted yesterday. And every answer he gives me aloud sounds thoughtful, deep, and completely sincere.  
I will let you decide how much of the above is true. ;)

I did so much today, I feel like some of it happened days ago.  This morning I went to the doctor's office to have my blood panel taken care of.  I remembered to fast this time!  Woo!  I had my urinalysis taken care of, too.  I had forgotten about that.  Man, I love peeing in a tiny cup.  Don't you?  (I would elaborate here, but I have a lot to cover and I want to go to bed soon).

After the doctor, I headed to (wait, I can't remember...give me a second...oh!) I went to the State Patrol office to have my fingerprints scanned!  That was really fun.  I filled out a card with all my personal information and turned my hands over to the nice lady in the little room full of computers.  She wiped my fingers with wet wipes (Huggies, to be exact...I looked) and told me to try not to help her roll them on the screen (that was more difficult than I thought it was going to be).  This was way cooler than having black ink rolled onto my fingertips.  She rolled each finger over a little panel on the computer that looked like a clear mouse on a laptop (you know, the little box you roll you thumb around on...yeah, that).  She did this with all 10 phalanges of my hands, wiped them again with wet wipes (now I know how all those little kiddos feel when I'm constantly cleaning them...thank goodness she left my face alone!) and sent me on my way.  Easy peasy.  The printed cards went into an envelope and I headed to the post office.

On my way to the post office, I realized I didn't have time to get there, ship my fingerprints and the two other packages I had with me, and get to work on time so I decided to take Little E with me (he's 14 months old and loves doing anything that requires "going vroom" in my car and leaving the house).  Before heading to work, I treated myself to Olive Garden.  By myself.  And I'm completely okay with that.

The trip to the post office went something like this:
E: "Byeee"
Me: "You wanna go 'bye'?  Do you want to go back to the Post Office?  You had fun last time."
E: "Yeah.  Bye"
Me: Okay, let's go to the Post Office!  We have boxes this time!  You can help me mail them, and drop them in the bin...it's gonna be fun!"
E: "bye!"
"Bye" we go

Me: "E, I need you to hold my hand so we can walk inside (while balancing two boxes and the fingerprint envelope on one hip so I can bend down and hold his hand with the other...this is what yoga is helping with...)"
E: "No! Walk"
Me: "You can walk, but you need to hold my hand.  Please?"
E: "I walk.  Ehhhh" (whining as I try to hold his precious little hand)
Me: Okay, you can walk, but we're standing in the middle of the parking lot.  Look! A car!  Hurry! Hurry! Let's go!  Hold my hand!"
E: (not buying the excitement or thrill of danger...) "ehhhhh! Walk!"
Me: Okay, here, take this.  Can you hold this box for me?  Let's take them inside.  You don't have to hold my hand, but I need you to help. (If he's holding a box maybe he can't run away too quickly?)
E: (excited) "Walk!"
Me: "Yes! Walk! Walk! Walk!" (while marching into the Post Office looking awesome)

We weighed our packages, used the automated postal system that looks like an ATM (fun!) and Little E walked each item to the bin, dropped it into the little thingy that looks like the end of a construction vehicle of sorts, then smiled ear to ear as he lifted the handle and said "Byeeee" and gasped in amazement as it disappeared, leaving the construction looking thingy open.  And repeat.  Of course, on the way out, Little E had to say "Bye!  Thanks." to everyone in line behind us.  As soon as we hit the parking lot, "Vroom!"  so we did....in my 2004, granny gold, Toyota Camry that he thinks is AWESOME.  (So do I, but he will change his mind well before I do).

Later, while Little E took his nap, I received a phone call from my doctor regarding my blood work and to let me know that she finished my paper work today.  (How sweet!)  I sorted through my adoption folder for anything I could work on without a computer and came up dry.  So I read my book.  Oh, the book...

One day, when I write my first book, if it's about adoption, I will not say a single thing about how an adopted child isn't your actual child.  I won't dwell on the fact that you aren't really the parent...for over 300 pages, and I won't offer advice by saying, "Psychologists say...." and not give you the name of someone with their full title.  Even if I make it up, at least I'll make it look like I'm citing my "sources".  I'm not a huge fan of this book (can you tell?), but I understand why I need to read it.  I first opened it with a completely open and excited mindset.  However, I quickly learned that taking every word to heart would ruin my child's chance of having a Mom without an adoption complex, so now I'm reading to finish, and only taking bits and pieces from this silly little guide to adoptive parenting.  Hopefully the next book is better...and hopefully, when we switch, Adam will remember I'm not the one assigning the homework.  He's gonna love this book as much as I do!  Maybe more.

I also called on Grandmas today, Baby's...not mine.  We need a certified copy of each of our birth certificates along with our marriage license.  After learning that doing this myself, via the in-ter-net, would not be a convenient option, I delegated the task to our mothers.  Each mom is getting a birth certificate and one mom is also requesting a copy of our marriage license (I won't tell you which one...remember, I'm going for at least a little mystery here).  All three documents will be delivered by hand, or via snail mail, by this Friday.  Yay for grandmas! ;)

Let's see...what else have we accomplished?  Adam is almost finished with his Self Study and we're about to go over, well, I'm not exactly sure what...whatever needs to be "gone over" before our Home Study visit tomorrow.  I have the day off since I only work afternoons and, well, the visit is in the afternoon, so Jovi and I are going to clean and prep and work our way to impressing the socks off this lady!  Okay, I'm gonna work, Jovi is going to sit in the chair propped up on the pillows and claim the blanket while watching my every move with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth.  I'll be sure to post pictures.

In addition to the Home Study, I have a La Leche League meeting tomorrow!  I will post more of that on the appropriate page, but I'm kind of excited to go.  The leader (whose name I have completely forgotten.  Sweet.) said I will be the only adoptive mother there, but if I committed to being there, she would do research for me and be sure I felt included and welcome.  Yay!  That's fun!  Hopefully I make new friends and they don't all hate me because I'm expecting a baby and don't look like a walking beach ball.  Hey, I don't get that pretty little glow either...I think it's fair.

Next on the list:
-Type our autobiography for Love Basket
-Compose our Photo Essay for Love Basket
-Attend an online class with Adoption Learning Partners 
-Find a CPR/First Aid training to attend in order to receive/update certification

After all of that, we get to move on to our Profile Book for birth mothers!!!

After tomorrow's Home Study visit, I should know more of what is required from CSI.  It sounds like the packet from them was just to get us to this point...it didn't necessarily lay out everything like our Love Basket Packets.  More to come on that as we know things.

***Interruption***  I just read my husband's answers to his Self Study...and he thinks I'm cute (how sweet)!  And he says that this adoption process is one of the highlights of our relationship.  (I guess he didn't appreciate my bad aim and shoe-throwing as much as I thought...)

I'm losing focus.  Brain and body are falling asleep.  If I missed anything, I'll cover it tomorrow.  

I'll be back.

"Goodnight John Boy!" 
"Good Night Mary Ellen."

Good night to our friends and family. ;)

0 to 60 in 5.2

You know what I forgot about roller coasters?  They're fast.  The ride is crazy, makes you scream, turns you stomach in knots, you fear you'll lose your shoes....and then it's over.  Just like that.

Things are happening so quickly, I haven't had a chance to stop and write it all out.  Let me see if I can remember the last five days:

GetStuffDoneDay: We spent all of Saturday on adoption paper work, cleaning, laundry, catching up on all things in life that have been neglected over the last several weeks.  We also mapped out a handful of apartments to view on Sunday.

Our New Home: Sunday, we went straight from church to our first apartment (at 10:15) and saw our last place at 4:00pm.  (Note to self: don't wear jeans OR heels when going home hunting in 90* weather.  Blisters don't look good on you.)  We were determined to find a place before the weekend was over so that we can get things moving.  Due to our house in Iowa and our adoption fees, we decided to rent small.  We found a nice one bedroom apartment with private access (no shared hallways), a pool (woo!), and an attached garage (jackpot!) that opens into the foyer.  It's small, but it's gorgeous and I can't wait to move in and make it home!  Our plan is to upgrade to a larger apartment as soon as our house sells, or when Baby arrives...whichever comes first.  We will go with a two or three bedroom by then so that we have plenty of space for Baby and all visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. :)  Getting everything coordinated will be a lot of work over the next two weeks, but I'm excited to finally be settled here in Omaha!

Packet II: We finished a lot of Packet II paperwork and mailed out everything I've already mentioned in past blogs.  I've made appointments for physicals and blood panels.  Mine is Friday, Adam's is Tuesday.  We need to decide on the amount of contact we want to have with a birth mother and fill out that form.  We also need to send in a "photo essay".  The essay is the day in pictures project I mentioned in our last post.  This is so the agency can get to know us and is for the office staff only.  It has nothing to do with the birth mothers who see our profile pictures.  We also need to finish reading our books, each write an auto biography for the agency (also to help them "get to know us"), find a local Adoption Support Group meeting to attend, take a CPR/First Aid class (each one of us), and request a letter from our insurance company that shows proof of dependent coverage along with a start date for Baby's insurance coverage.  This involves calling the agency and requesting a specifically worded letter...not just a photo copy of our policy from the handbook.  Oh fun.  I can't wait.  Oh!  And our agent would like all of this paperwork returned by Friday.  Um.....sure.  Let me just hit "mute" on the rest of life and we're good to go! (I would hit "pause", but that just means I have to catch up on it later).

Home Study Packet: I spent three hours on this crazy packet and it's still not done!  I'm pretty sure the last page I filled out may sound a little more, um, harsh...than I intended but I'm kind of getting tired of all this silly homework.  Included in the packet is a 5 page "Grief and Loss" questionnaire that stands as stiff competition to an intense infertility therapy session.  Only....we have to write out our answers in a tiny space and describe in detail every step we have taken to attempt conception on our own.  Awesome.  Maybe I can attach a schedule of every day we've "attempted to conceive'' and give start times, positions, and end times.  Okay, that's crude.  I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.  All of this work is totally worth what we will get in the end!  But, (yes...always a but) I wish this much work was required for someone to have an abortion.  I bet we'd see a drastic change in numbers.  No screening necessary to kill a baby...but 15 hours a week of paperwork in order to adopt one that was lucky enough to be saved.  (and let the ugly comments come in...at this point, I'm okay with that).
For the rest of our Home Study Packet, we need to have our finger prints scanned, and send them into the state patrol office.  We filled out a lot of the same paperwork that was in Packet II from Love Basket, and we need to send in our monthly budget, a list of all debts and assets(same info from Packet II, different form), and also a "self evaluation" that consists of about six pages of questions ranging from, "What are you life's biggest accomplishments?" (I've made it this far with adoption paperwork!  How's that?!) to "Describe how your marriage has changed over the years" (um..."She loves me.  She loves me not.  She loves me.  She loves me not...She loves me!  Let's adopt a baby!" Does that work?) Once all of this paperwork is done, we mail it all back and then start working on our profile book for Birth Mothers.  I will talk more about that when we get there!
Here's a kicker on the Home Study: I called yesterday to verify a few things with our local agent and found out that we do not have to wait for blood panels, fingerprints, background checks and the like, to be returned to the agency.  We can do our Home Study visits now and have our approval "pending" while we wait on the state and the lab techs to return everything.  Once we are approved of our Home Study, all information gets forwarded to Love Basket for approval of Packet II.  Here's what that means: I thought we would start our Home Study visits in about five weeks, after the appropriate reports arrived on our agent's desk.  Nope.  She wants to start next week!  Holy Moses!  Packet I was almost two weeks faster than I expected, and now the Home Study is being moved up an entire month!  I may be posting Baby's photos by Christmas if we keep going like this!
Okay, okay, I know once all the papers are done we may have to wait awhile before God sends us our baby and our birth parents...but my gut (Mommy Brain?) is telling me to be ready by Christmas, maybe sooner.  Um...okay!!!  I can do that!  We'll see how right I am....

(Big breathe...) I think I've covered everything.  If I missed something or you have questions, leave a comment!  I'll respond to anything, unless you're mean about my abortion comment.  I ignore mean people. :)

We love all of the support we continue to receive.  Our family and friends are wonderful!  We can't wait to introduce our Baby to everyone who is so excited to meet him or her! (Wanna start a pool on baby's gender and or birth month?  It's total luck....how about a quarter a bet?  Just in time for fantasy football season....boys, get on that!  You make it, I'll play it).  Winner can donate to Baby's college fund ;).

And...I'm out.  More to come.  Sorry I took so long!  The Home Study Packet will be dropped off at the local office by Friday, so I'm sure to have an update by then!

Thanks for reading!  Happy Hump Day. :)

Are We There Yet?

I just finished sorting through Packet II! A lot of hot pink and baby blue post-it's are poking out of my folder, but I've officially filled out all that I can on my own.

Our adoption books arrived today, too! Those need to be read in the next 4-6 weeks in order to discuss them during our Home Study interviews. There's a slight chance they will collect a little dust between now and then...

I said that I had an appointment scheduled for today, regarding my physical and a blood panel. I was wrong. It's NEXT Friday, which works out well because I was up all night reading blogs on adoptions and levels of openness. (And I may or may not have been catching up on the last season o Teen Mom since I missed it during the move here...)

I went to bed as Adam's alarm was waking him up for work. Yuck. Someone remind me that I'm down to the wire on early bedtimes and days to sleep in! I should be hibernating!!!

Okay, so for Packet II, I need to type up Adams hobbies (I lost his hand written page and he claimed to have forgotten his interests during our Power Paper Session the other night.) I also need to type up our family hobbies. After that, we both need doctor visits taken care of. I need to schedule Adams appointment and then attend my own. We also have a personal and family autobiography to write that answers a handful of questions including why we want to adopt. I will detail that page when we get that far. Lastly, we need to create a photo essay of ourselves so that our agent and the Love Basket staff can get to know us a little better. In that pictorial essay will be a typical day of out week, in photos. How fun! Adam might be slightly annoyed with me by the end of that day. :)

I'm tempted to brave The Home study packet this weekend, but that just might be a tad bit too much. Did I mention we are moving? Yes, in light of all this paperwork, we are home hunting and planning a move. We have until September 30 to finalize those details and leave or apartment keys behind. So, our holiday weekend plans consist of mapping out a Route of local homes and driving around Omaha to check them out. From the looks of it, we will be starting our family in an apartment. Our Davenport house is still on the market, so those bills in addition to the cost of the adoption will keep us from purchasing a house. But that's okay with us! We are a little excited about the lower cost of living and I'm excited that Adam will be able to spend evenings bonding with Baby instead of caring for the lawn and being Mr. fix-it! Of course, he IS a Lewis boy, and I know how they love their lawns and outdoor responsibilities. I hope he has them back soon. But in the mean time, Baby can keep him busy with plenty of

indoor activities. :)

Ideally, Packet II will be ready for the mail by Tuesday. I also plan to send out our reference packets by Tuesday. I will share more about those tomorrow or Sunday. They didn't get finished by today, but oh well. I think I'm still making good time!

Happy Friday, everyone!

Slowly, but Surely...

About 1/3 of our Packet II forms have been filled out!  I have a pile of papers tabbed with post-its, thanks to a tip from a friend, and labeled "Adam's initials", "Adam sign", "for physician", etc.  Most pages need to be notarized and all need to be photo copied before we send them in.  I'm hoping to have this finished by the end of the week with appointments on the calendar as necessary.  

I've been filling out paperwork during nap time at work.  Last night, Adam and I sat down and went over each page, one at a time, before he signed, initialed, or provided other information in writing.  Some forms needed to be "re-done" because I scribbled information as I found it, but our application looked far from "pretty".  Our conversation went something like this:

Adam: "Can we redo this?"
Nic: "Why? (possibly in a whining voice) 
Adam: "Because it's messy.  It doesn't look professional"
Nic: "Who cares.  We aren't 'professional' this is a family thing" (knowing he was right)
Adam: "Can we please do it over? I will fill it out and copy it word for word.  I can do each page so the handwriting is all the same."
Nic:(sigh) "Sure.  It will look better.  But if you want to do all of them, you have a crap load of papers to start filling out, despite the fact that I already did them once...or twice on my own"
Adam: (looking at stack of papers weighed down with post-its) "Oh. I don't want to do that. I'll just do these two.  They don't have to match."
Nic: "Good.  That would take all night."

So, we prettied up our application, filled in gaps where we could, and went page by page until Adam couldn't write down our address without making a mistake because he was so tired.  Of course, while he was making up numbers for our address, I was falling asleep across the table.  It was far from my late nights of studying and writing papers, and not as fun without me being intentional about being excited, but looking back this morning, its a memory for the books for sure.  It will go right next to memories of wedding planning together, and filling out "thank-you" cards every night after work until all 350 were mailed out.

One of our forms that is up for discussion at dinner tonight (Date Night!  Woo!) is concerning the openness of our adoption.  We need to provide the agency with our preference of "Open", "Semi-Open", or "Closed".  Most Birth Parents prefer contact with the adoptive family, so our options are drastically different between an "Open" adoption and a "Closed" adoption.  Here's the skinny on each:

Open: Contact information is exchanged, including addresses and phone numbers.  Visits are made about twice per year, with letters and pictures promised at 3-month intervals the first year.  Every year after that is decided during the adoption match, and may or may not be at the discretion of the Adoptive Parents only (depending on State laws).

Semi-Open: First names are shared and all contact is managed by the adoption agency.  Visits may include a chaperone from the agency.  All letters, packages, etc are sent to the agency and then on to the recipient.

Closed: No information is exchanged.  No contact is made.

I've almost made up my mind about which option I prefer, but I've been thinking about it for a long time.  Adam just started considering the options and isn't sure, yet.  He has questions for tonight's conversation and we need to agree on this decision.  It's one of the most important decisions we will make regarding our child's adoption experience as he/she grows up.

Another item on our most current "To-Do" list is sending out reference packets.  We have a stack of reference sheets that need to be mailed to each person.  In addition to the list of questions, I want to include a "Thank-You" letter for their time,  stamped envelopes addressed to Love Basket to be sent directly to the agency, and also one other thing (to be identified later because our references are reading this and I prefer to surprise them).  Once the packets are ready, I will mail them out and call our friends every single day to see if they've filled out their information.  Okay....I will want to call them every day, but I shall refrain.  I want to keep them all as friends long after this whole process! ;)

Today, I'm going to work on reference packets.  I also plan to fill out the rest of Packet II so that Adam and I can review it all by the end of the week.  Hopefully a big chunk of Packet II goes to Love Basket on Monday.  Some forms need to wait on a doctor or lab tech, but the ones that don't are only waiting on me.

I have my doctor's appointment scheduled for this Friday.  The form I filled out requires my medical history, both physical and emotional/psychological and contact information.  The doctor will do a complete physical and a blood panel, then fill out the rest of the form with the results of each.  I've been told that the physical is the same that is done for in-home childcare providers (think daycare at your neighbors house).  The blood panel checks for all forms of Hepatitis, kidney and liver function, Diabetes, and more things that I can't remember at the moment.  The purpose is to check our overall health in every way possible.  We each filled out information concerning our BMI and exercise routines.  Thank goodness I just started yoga!  "I don't workout" isn't exactly what I want to put on my application.  Reads: "LAZY-A" a little too loudly.  ;) Included in psychological history is a handful of questions about our marriage, whether or not we have ever received counseling and what each experience was like.  Contact information for counselors is requested, along with permission to discuss our case files.  I'm going to be very transparent here:  these forms are invasive.  I don't mind this, and I understand why, but it sucks that people who don't adopt, people who conceive children on their own or with help from Science, don't have to meet all of these standards.  Our society wouldn't be nearly as screwy as it is if everyone had to be evaluated this way before starting a family!  I'm not angry.  I'm just making a point.  It is what it is and we will do as we are told.  No big deal.
 
That's it for now.  Our Home Study Packet is still in my bag, untouched.  I'm sure there's something in there I probably should have returned by now, but I've talked to our HS Agent almost daily since my initial phone call, so I'm not worried about anything.  I can't worry about anything more than necessary.  Right now, that means the top of my list, one item at a time.

Big Breathe

On we go.... 

525,600....dollars

Okay, not quite that much.

I'm tracking our actual expenses on a different page, but here are the projected fees provided in Packet II:

#	Item	Fee	Due Date
1	Application Packet I	$95.00	With application
2	Application Packet II	$595.00	With application
3	Home Study	$1600.00	With HS application
4	Activation Fee	$4,000.00	When our profile books are submitted to Love Basket
5	Non-Love Basket Home Study Review Fee	$425.00	Upon agency request
6	Agency Placement Fee	$15,500	Two business days before placement of child (basically, as soon as Baby is born)
7	Interim Child Care (if necessary)	$35-$45 per day	Same as #6
8	Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (for children born in one state, but residing in another	$600	Same as #6
9	Legal Expenses	$2500-$4500 (estimated)	Same as #6
10	Home Study  Update	$295	Due at one year anniversary of packet II approval, if still waiting

I've omitted fees that do not apply to us and have also changed a few numbers based on prices from the local agency.  I will explain each item as we approach them.  Some don't really need explanation.  

One thing I learned today, after confirming these fees with our agent, is that the $4,000 activation fee is applied to the $15,500 placement fee.  So, we can take $4,000 off of our $30,000 estimation right off the bat.  I also learned that some of the fees on the paper I have do not apply to us because Love Basket is not doing our Home Study.  We calculated fees we know of from CSI, but I'm pretty sure there's one missing up there...again, more to come as we get that far. 

Lastly, we were adding up the higher end of each estimated cost (interim child care, legal fees) and I learned the lower numbers are closer to average.

We haven't talked much more about how to pay for things, but we're committed to this adoption, with this agency, at this time.  We're going all the way, together, and we're going to figure it out.

I didn't fill out any new papers today.  Despite my all inspiring faith from this morning, I spent my free time on the phone with local adoption agencies to do a cost-comparison.  In the end, we're adding about $1400 to our expenses by not living in a state that houses a Love Basket office.  But, this doesn't seem to be out of the ordinary for them.  I could be wrong.

Two posts in one day.  Watch for more tomorrow!