Sneak Peek

No new information, but here is a sneek peak of our profile book.  I like to think I'm finished with these two pages:
 

 

"I think I can...I think I can"

It's been 10 days since my last post and today was the first day I really made much progress at all.  Granted, there was a holiday in there...and a whole lot of driving/traveling...but I wish I had more finished than I do.

We have not heard from Love Basket yet, regarding our approval of Packet II.  I will call tomorrow to check in with our agent.

As of now, we are finished working with our Home Study agency until our baby arrives home with us (!!!!)  Then, we will do a set of post-placement visits.  Details on that process will come as it gets closer.

I've worked on our profile a little more.  Ten pages are drafted and a handful of photos have been selected (thanks to the help of my BFF when she came to visit last weekend)!  I need to sit down and put in a solid few hours on this profile book, but it's hard to do with Christmas coming!  I so badly want to keep pressing on.  And I so badly want to be sure to enjoy the holidays this year and not be so consumed with "expecting a baby" that the rest of my life passes me by.  It's a tough balance.  No matter what I decide to work on, I feel like my time should be spent on something else.  EVERYTHING Baby, Christmas gifts, Decorating for Christmas, Baking for Christmas....I have a million things I usually fill my time with this time of the year and I don't want to drop everything.  I need to sit down this week and prioritize my wishes!

Today, I drafted our Dear Birthmother letter.  Talk about a feeling of accomplishment!  I have several re-writes ahead of me, but the bones are there.  I plan to send out my draft to a few select resources who have written their own letters, and hopefully receive feedback soon after.  Technically, we are not "behind" schedule, because we haven't been approved yet, and our packet for the profile book came early.  But, I want our book ready as soon as we are approved!  It will drive me crazy to be working on it knowing that I could have "finished already" and Birth Mothers are not getting a chance to see it "yet".  (Insert cyclone inside the brain)

I think that's all I have for right now.  As I complete more pages in our profile, I will try to share them.  Our letter will remain confidential, but I will share the process as we write it.  For now, the main requirement is a length no longer than one page, including a 3x5 photo.  I have a seven page document of other guidelines and directive, but will spare you the overwhelming details....at least for now, anyway.

After prioritizing my goals tomorrow, I will be a woman on a mission!  (Even more so than I already am....)  Keep watch for details.  We plan to finish this book before Christmas!  I have 29 days left!

Please continue to pray for unity between our Birth Mother and Birth Father.  Their decision to make an adoption plan together will be a huge blessing in the midst of everything to come!  Peace of mind for our Birth Mother, and a healthy pregnancy and delivery are also at the top of the list.  Peace in our home is a continued request...and a prayer I can say, first-hand, has been working!  Thank you!  Thank you! For praying for us.  

Oh!  I almost forgot!  I decided at the beginning of all of this that I wasn't going to miss out on anything just because I'm not pregnant.  We are expecting a baby.  It's an exciting time in our life!  I've decided to have as much fun as possible....which includes jumping in on the belly photos on Facebook.  I've already posted our initial announcement with my "starter belly".  Here are the new photos I took with M last weekend!  (This is a talent I possess...and for the sake of my self-esteem, I feel the need to clarify that I am pushing everything as much as I can for the sake of these photos and I do not look this pregnant on a daily basis.)

14 Weeks into the adoption process:

Home Study Meeting Tomorrow!

It's been a week since my last post, and that's not exactly how I would like this to go.  However, I've been avoiding blogging about my feelings because...well, sometimes our feeling can consume us and because there isn't really anything tactile left to do, I'm just thinking about a gazillion things like our relationship with our birth parents, bonding with Baby, options for breastfeeding (or possibly not breastfeeding) Baby, My husband's work hours and how our family life might look, the fact that our contract fell through on our house, so now we're paying for two homes....something we didn't plan on doing until.....um....probably never, what our baby's name might be, Baby's gender, different ideas about parenting a boy as opposed to a girl, and (Adam, don't read this one) what if we have surprise twins?  Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for reading the world's longest sentence.  That's what's been going on in my head.

Out in the real world, I've been building a baby registry, which IS SO MUCH STINKIN' FUN!!!!  I found a site that hosts your registry regardless of where you like to shop.  This means that my quilt I've wanted (for the last five years) from Land of Nod can go on the same registry as our car seat from BabysRus, along with essentials I found at Target and our cloth diapers from a couple different websites!  Woo hoo!  I guess the downside is that it makes shopping in store a little more difficult, but I'm working on a way to help with that.  The registry has been a huge time filler and I'm only doing it because I keep being told that we have to have one, even though we will be so excited to just to have our baby, and introduce him or her, that gifts will surely be over the top.  I have to admit though, the request is one I'm fulfilling with glee. ;)  Who doesn't love making a wish list??

Our final reference letter has arrived at its destination, and tomorrow is our last Home Study meeting.  Our social worker will be at our house at 9am and should be finished at Noon.  We have a lot to cover, so hopefully she's a quick worker tomorrow!  Items on the meeting agenda:
-Adam's family tree and family history
-Our family values
-What it means to each of us to be a Lewis
-What is means to be a family
-What are our ideas of parenting, what is important and how will we handle specific issues
-What are our existing traditions and what new traditions do we hope to start with our own family?
-How will we plan to celebrate holidays
-What are the rules in our house?
-How do we think things will change once a baby arrives?
-And a million other related questions

I feel like the answer to a lot of those questions will depend on our child's temperament and personality.  All children thrive in different ways, express themselves differently, and some need discipline methods that may not be so mainstream.  We will have to deal with issues as they come.  But, I do know this.  Adam and I are a team.  And adding a baby, is adding a team mate...a "Lewis in training." Whatever comes our way (temper tantrums, karate trophies, volleyball state championships, lost soccer games, new family members, and spilled milk...)we will handle as a team.  And when someone needs a "time out".  We'll allow it.  Foul play....will come with penalties, and home runs will be celebrated together.  Our friends and family will be our cheer leaders and we'll make it through all of life with our spirits high and our eye on the ball.  I'm getting a little cheesy with the metaphor, but the point is getting across, no?

After the Home Study meeting, we wait for our social worker to type up her report on us.  She will send it to Love Basket, and then we wait for LB to approve Packet II.  Hopefully this goes as quickly as our approval of Packet I (24 hours)!!!  We shall see...

Once we're approved, we receive guidelines for our profile book along with samples of books from matched families.  I'll share details from that point once we get there.  We're still moving quickly, just don't have as much to do so there's a little less to write about.

Another thing I am thinking about this week is a letter to our Birth Mother.  Every profile books requires this letter, and my adoption counselor is helping me think of what and how to write one.  I have a book to read that's full of advice and samples, a DVD to watch, and then a little online reading to further educate myself.  I'm hoping to have my letter drafted by the time our profile book guidelines come in.  Then, I can get to work on the picture stuff.  That's going to be a lot of fun!  (Grandmas are currently working on gathering past photos and sending this way.  If you have any of your own pictures we've taken together, feel free to send them....you know, for proof we have friends. You can email them to me or take a field trip to the post office if you like!)

I will be back after tomorrow's meeting with an update.  Hopefully, before next Tuesday!

Keep praying!  And thanks for keeping up with the details.  We love our friends and family, and feel the support every day!

 

Kickin Bums and Takin' Names...wait...what?

As I sit here to address the latest happenings in the Baby Lewis story, my husband is across from me filling out his "Self Study" that has to be complete before he goes to bed tonight (which is about an hour from now...)and he is saying the sweetest things about how much free time he has, how much he loves to fill out paperwork, and how meaningful each of these questions are to him.  You know, the questions I posted yesterday. And every answer he gives me aloud sounds thoughtful, deep, and completely sincere.  
I will let you decide how much of the above is true. ;)

I did so much today, I feel like some of it happened days ago.  This morning I went to the doctor's office to have my blood panel taken care of.  I remembered to fast this time!  Woo!  I had my urinalysis taken care of, too.  I had forgotten about that.  Man, I love peeing in a tiny cup.  Don't you?  (I would elaborate here, but I have a lot to cover and I want to go to bed soon).

After the doctor, I headed to (wait, I can't remember...give me a second...oh!) I went to the State Patrol office to have my fingerprints scanned!  That was really fun.  I filled out a card with all my personal information and turned my hands over to the nice lady in the little room full of computers.  She wiped my fingers with wet wipes (Huggies, to be exact...I looked) and told me to try not to help her roll them on the screen (that was more difficult than I thought it was going to be).  This was way cooler than having black ink rolled onto my fingertips.  She rolled each finger over a little panel on the computer that looked like a clear mouse on a laptop (you know, the little box you roll you thumb around on...yeah, that).  She did this with all 10 phalanges of my hands, wiped them again with wet wipes (now I know how all those little kiddos feel when I'm constantly cleaning them...thank goodness she left my face alone!) and sent me on my way.  Easy peasy.  The printed cards went into an envelope and I headed to the post office.

On my way to the post office, I realized I didn't have time to get there, ship my fingerprints and the two other packages I had with me, and get to work on time so I decided to take Little E with me (he's 14 months old and loves doing anything that requires "going vroom" in my car and leaving the house).  Before heading to work, I treated myself to Olive Garden.  By myself.  And I'm completely okay with that.

The trip to the post office went something like this:
E: "Byeee"
Me: "You wanna go 'bye'?  Do you want to go back to the Post Office?  You had fun last time."
E: "Yeah.  Bye"
Me: Okay, let's go to the Post Office!  We have boxes this time!  You can help me mail them, and drop them in the bin...it's gonna be fun!"
E: "bye!"
"Bye" we go

Me: "E, I need you to hold my hand so we can walk inside (while balancing two boxes and the fingerprint envelope on one hip so I can bend down and hold his hand with the other...this is what yoga is helping with...)"
E: "No! Walk"
Me: "You can walk, but you need to hold my hand.  Please?"
E: "I walk.  Ehhhh" (whining as I try to hold his precious little hand)
Me: Okay, you can walk, but we're standing in the middle of the parking lot.  Look! A car!  Hurry! Hurry! Let's go!  Hold my hand!"
E: (not buying the excitement or thrill of danger...) "ehhhhh! Walk!"
Me: Okay, here, take this.  Can you hold this box for me?  Let's take them inside.  You don't have to hold my hand, but I need you to help. (If he's holding a box maybe he can't run away too quickly?)
E: (excited) "Walk!"
Me: "Yes! Walk! Walk! Walk!" (while marching into the Post Office looking awesome)

We weighed our packages, used the automated postal system that looks like an ATM (fun!) and Little E walked each item to the bin, dropped it into the little thingy that looks like the end of a construction vehicle of sorts, then smiled ear to ear as he lifted the handle and said "Byeeee" and gasped in amazement as it disappeared, leaving the construction looking thingy open.  And repeat.  Of course, on the way out, Little E had to say "Bye!  Thanks." to everyone in line behind us.  As soon as we hit the parking lot, "Vroom!"  so we did....in my 2004, granny gold, Toyota Camry that he thinks is AWESOME.  (So do I, but he will change his mind well before I do).

Later, while Little E took his nap, I received a phone call from my doctor regarding my blood work and to let me know that she finished my paper work today.  (How sweet!)  I sorted through my adoption folder for anything I could work on without a computer and came up dry.  So I read my book.  Oh, the book...

One day, when I write my first book, if it's about adoption, I will not say a single thing about how an adopted child isn't your actual child.  I won't dwell on the fact that you aren't really the parent...for over 300 pages, and I won't offer advice by saying, "Psychologists say...." and not give you the name of someone with their full title.  Even if I make it up, at least I'll make it look like I'm citing my "sources".  I'm not a huge fan of this book (can you tell?), but I understand why I need to read it.  I first opened it with a completely open and excited mindset.  However, I quickly learned that taking every word to heart would ruin my child's chance of having a Mom without an adoption complex, so now I'm reading to finish, and only taking bits and pieces from this silly little guide to adoptive parenting.  Hopefully the next book is better...and hopefully, when we switch, Adam will remember I'm not the one assigning the homework.  He's gonna love this book as much as I do!  Maybe more.

I also called on Grandmas today, Baby's...not mine.  We need a certified copy of each of our birth certificates along with our marriage license.  After learning that doing this myself, via the in-ter-net, would not be a convenient option, I delegated the task to our mothers.  Each mom is getting a birth certificate and one mom is also requesting a copy of our marriage license (I won't tell you which one...remember, I'm going for at least a little mystery here).  All three documents will be delivered by hand, or via snail mail, by this Friday.  Yay for grandmas! ;)

Let's see...what else have we accomplished?  Adam is almost finished with his Self Study and we're about to go over, well, I'm not exactly sure what...whatever needs to be "gone over" before our Home Study visit tomorrow.  I have the day off since I only work afternoons and, well, the visit is in the afternoon, so Jovi and I are going to clean and prep and work our way to impressing the socks off this lady!  Okay, I'm gonna work, Jovi is going to sit in the chair propped up on the pillows and claim the blanket while watching my every move with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth.  I'll be sure to post pictures.

In addition to the Home Study, I have a La Leche League meeting tomorrow!  I will post more of that on the appropriate page, but I'm kind of excited to go.  The leader (whose name I have completely forgotten.  Sweet.) said I will be the only adoptive mother there, but if I committed to being there, she would do research for me and be sure I felt included and welcome.  Yay!  That's fun!  Hopefully I make new friends and they don't all hate me because I'm expecting a baby and don't look like a walking beach ball.  Hey, I don't get that pretty little glow either...I think it's fair.

Next on the list:
-Type our autobiography for Love Basket
-Compose our Photo Essay for Love Basket
-Attend an online class with Adoption Learning Partners 
-Find a CPR/First Aid training to attend in order to receive/update certification

After all of that, we get to move on to our Profile Book for birth mothers!!!

After tomorrow's Home Study visit, I should know more of what is required from CSI.  It sounds like the packet from them was just to get us to this point...it didn't necessarily lay out everything like our Love Basket Packets.  More to come on that as we know things.

***Interruption***  I just read my husband's answers to his Self Study...and he thinks I'm cute (how sweet)!  And he says that this adoption process is one of the highlights of our relationship.  (I guess he didn't appreciate my bad aim and shoe-throwing as much as I thought...)

I'm losing focus.  Brain and body are falling asleep.  If I missed anything, I'll cover it tomorrow.  

I'll be back.

"Goodnight John Boy!" 
"Good Night Mary Ellen."

Good night to our friends and family. ;)

Packet II is here!

Holy Toledo, Batman!  This is a LOT of information.  Imagine signing up for just a college course and receiving all of your materials in the mail at once, all homework assignments, papers, etc.  That's what just landed in my lap.  Two months worth of paperwork aside from our Home Study....and our Home Study packet will be just as big.  Hi, glad I took the semester off of school.  I would be a total basket case right now. (and breathe.)

I haven't had enough time to absorb everything yet, but here is a quick overview of what we are looking at.

-A flowchart of the adoption process (THANK YOU for the checklist!  I may stay sane afterall)
-Child Placement Agreement and Affidavit (our contract with Love Basket)
-Notice of Privacy Practices (how our personal information is shared and for what reasons)
-Notice of Privacy Practices Acknowledgement Sheet (says we read the privacy practices and approve)
-Authorization form for the agency to obtain background, health, financial and other information and to share this information with appropriate third parties
-An eight page document consisting of recommended reading for us, our families, and our adopted child (after placement).  This reading is not required like the two books I mentioned yesterday.

That's half of packet two and each (-) above is equivalent to approximately seven pages stapled together as "sub-packets"

Here's the other half-
-A letter of congratulations on our approval of Packet I (Hey! Something I don't have to fill out, sign, and have notorized!  Yay!)
-Application to process packet II (this looks a lot like a part-time job application)
-A list of instructions for completing Packet II 
-A lab release form for each of us, concerning a full blood panel (more details later)
-Medical History and Physician Report forms for each of us (for our physicals)
-Employee Reference sheet for each of our employers (details later)
-Forms to send our personal references that will be forwarded on to our agency
-Pastoral Reference form
-Worksheet regarding our desired contact with our Birth Parents for before placement as well as post-placement
-A list of Prerequisites for Adoption through Love Basket (details later) as well as a log of each item and a place for signatures
-A list of questions for us to discuss regarding a trans-racial adoption (Yay!  Another form we don't have to sign, notarize and return.  Six pages out of 987...I'll take it.)

That's the second half of Packet II.  Again, each (-) is an average of seven pages stapled together as "sub-packets".  Most of the above documents have to be signed and notarized (including our reference sheets) and then mailed back to the agency.

My understanding is that our Home Study Packet will be about this much information and very little is overlapping.

The fee for processing Packet II is $595.  We have an additional "review fee" of $425 which covers cross communication between Love Basket and our local agency regarding our Home Study.  

As I said yesterday, once fees are confirmed and paid, they will be added to the expense list.  

I will provide more details of these forms as we fill them out.  Anyone who has ever said or heard that the adoption process is a roller coaster ride was being polite.  I'm already sick to my stomach looking at this mountain and am ready to buy stock in Pepto.  (Seriously, does this count as sympathy "morning" sickness?)  Comment with the name of your favorite roller coaster ride and we'll have a drawing for Baby's name! (okay, just kidding on the naming Baby after a roller coaster thing....)

Much more to come!  I have a feeling that blogging twice a week just won't cover it anymore.  Stay Tuned! :D

#Overwhelmed #StillExcited